Cleaner lying about her age

[sausage133]

I'm going to acknowledge from the outset:
A) that the age of my cleaner and her children are none of my business - but the information was volunteered; and
B) that I've NC in case she and/or the friends I've mentioned this to are on mumsnet

After much discussion DH and I decided to get a cleaner recently. We wanted someone with DBS check and insurance, and picked someone with a recommendation on a local Facebook page who appeared to fit the bill.

It's not a conventional house so she came to have a look before providing a quote. My toddler pounced on her (not literally) at the door and I apologised - she said not to worry, she had two of her own, one of whom was a teenager. I must have looked surprised as she laughed and said she looked younger than she was but was 32.

All fine with quote etc and we made arrangements for her to come and do the deep clean. She seemed surprised I wanted to actually see the DBS and insurance docs but said she would send them through.

She sent through a DBS dated that day saying she hadn't realised it needed updating - I was going to accept that but then noticed the dob (part obscured) would make her 29. I didn't say anything at the time but asked for the insurance docs to be sent across along with a photograph of some photo ID. She sent those and the dob tallied with the DBS.

I was a bit concerned but wondered if she might have done it as, even with a 13 yr old, she must have had DC1 at 15/16 yo and perhaps had added a few years to hide that for some reason.

My mum met her on the day she came as we weren't in. They had a very brief discussion in which she told my mum that her oldest DC was due to start second school (this year or next, not sure - but either way not a teenager) and said she was 31. So not what she told me re either age, and not the truth at least re hers.

I wouldn't care how old she was but I'm a bit twitchy about the lies. She otherwise seems lovely and the house looks and smells great but would it be enough to stop you using her again? If not, would you ever mention it?

@winterchills

I wouldn't want to continue for the reason she has lied numerous times for no reason, if she can lie over something so silly what else could she lie about or hide. I wouldn't trust someone like that in my house.

Exactly if it was just the one lie. But the fact that the cleaner cannot remember to keep up with the lie she has chosen to tell OP

Aren't references and the feeling in the pit of your stomach more important than a DBS check. I once was told at safeguarding training that only about 1% of paedophiles have been caught. Therefore the other 99% have clean DBS's. All the other parts of the jigsaw areas if not more important than the DBS check.

How did you find her? I had three cleaners in London; all recommended and stayed for 9 years each. Now I use an agency and they are responsible for the checks.

I wouldn't trust anyone who told me a bare faced lie as soon as they met me and I wouldn't employ them either.

@icelollies

Goodness, I would just let it go. I’ve lied about my age in the past to avoid questions! I never lie about anything else.

Yes but this is Mumsnet so let's be over dramatic! And it's a lowly cleaner so obviously something like thievery or benefit fraud must be at play!!

@StephenBelafonte

I wouldn't trust anyone who told me a bare faced lie as soon as they met me and I wouldn't employ them either.

Unless she is paying this lady a pension and holiday pay she isn't employing them, they're providing a service.

Woo, do you work for MI6? You can tell us you know. No need to lie or anything.

You have to trust a cleaner. I would get rid of one that lies or provides fraudulent documents.

Ha @Dancingwithdaftness nothing that glamorous.

@pollylocketpickedapocket at no point did I say anything of the things in your post so I'm not sure who you're aiming it at.

@OhTheRoses no personal references - several people recommending her (along with others) on a recent thread on a local Facebook group. She stood out as said had the DBS check etc, so something tangible as well as just getting a feeling about someone.

@MrMeSeeks

Something doesn't ring true about the DBS check either. They usually take weeks. I'm not sure how she got hold of one dated that day,

Agree, even my quck one took week or two

She cannot possibly get a DBS dated that day.

I have three DBSes for different roles, and have been DBS checked (or the equivalent before it was called DBS) for all my professional life. It takes weeks at best, and usually months.

It is simply impossible. Sorry. Something is very fake here.

Too many lies, OP. I wouldn't use her. Absolutely no way.
And the previous poster is correct, you can not get a same day DBS check.

I think those saying it's to avoid judgement and it's only a small lie are missing the point that at no point was she asked about her own family.

The OP didn't sit her down and interrogate her about how many kids she had and how old they were, chances are she would never have even asked. The cleaner volunteered this information freely and yet still chose to lie about it. How is that anything behaviour other than odd.

• She cannot possibly get a DBS dated that day.

I have three DBSes for different roles, and have been DBS checked (or the equivalent before it was called DBS) for all my professional life. It takes weeks at best, and usually months.

It is simply impossible. Sorry. Something is very fake here.*

You can pay an annual fee to be on the DBS Update service. You then don’t have to be re-checked for every new job/position. Obviously makes sense to do this if you’re a cleaner or a nanny or something like that.

There was a thread a few months back where the OP admitted to always rounding her children's ages up to the next birthday. Her 4 years and one month old was always 5 whenever anyone asked.

Perhaps your cleaner has embraced this system wholeheartedly and keeps adding another year every quarter.

It is simply impossible. Sorry. Something is very fake here
It's not impossible though, the online basic one can come through very quickly, mine came through same day less than two hours.

I can see how you would be bothered by the lie, but maybe professionally it’s better to be in your 30s as people trust you more. It’s not a big lie and clearly her DBS is clear. I would ignore the lie.

Women lie about their age all the time surely.....

@LH1987 I think I'm probably of the same view really - my husband certainly is. I don't think I've ever deliberately lied about my age though I do sometimes have to think about what year it is when I answer 😂 that's usually knocking years off though not adding on.

@IslandSwim thanks for that. I hadn't been concerned about what she'd sent but I was starting to doubt myself! I've had a paper dbs in under a week before so same day for online felt entirely reasonable.

@MrsPotatoHeadsSheeWee love this suggestion, it all makes sense!! ☺️

That's why we specifically chose her as she specified that she had the DBS check already - it wasn't me demanding that she get one when she didn't - albeit turned out she didn't.

But you DON'T actually know that she didn't have one, you only know that she got one or renewed it when you asked her for it. A DBS is only valid until the day you get it, it's not valid for any length of time afterwards. It's not unreasonable to assume that someone might renew it when a potential client asks to see it, especially if they're on the update service.

@IslandSwim

It is simply impossible. Sorry. Something is very fake here It's not impossible though, the online basic one can come through very quickly, mine came through same day less than two hours.

My bad.

My DBSes are all enhanced, now I think about it. I don't know anyone who's had a basic one, so it was way off my radar. Apologies.

I can't believe you're even considering trusting her with your home.

@sausage133 bring back the days when I was 17 and lied to say I was older 😂

If you are that bothered maybe Facebook is not the best place to get a cleaner from.

Maybe she was from Paisley - the town where they sell banners that read Happy 30th Granny.

@cdtaylornats

Maybe she was from Paisley - the town where they sell banners that read Happy 30th Granny.

That's a bit of an undercut to both teenage mums and the Scottish working class ...

@cdtaylornats

Maybe she was from Paisley - the town where they sell banners that read Happy 30th Granny.

Nah, then the OP would be talking about a PVG and not a DBS.

Always makes me laugh when people say what a lovely name Paisley is.

@cdtaylornats
Charming comment. I’ll be sure to pass it on to my friends and family who live there.