To think this is not free time

[chocolatte2020]

I had the day off work today due to annual leave and our dc were with the childminder as they are every Wednesday. I pay for Wednesdays whether I work or if I'm off, so if I'm off work I still send them down and use the time to do something constructive.
I used today to make a start on some Christmas shopping for our dc and family. I always shop for my in-laws as I have the time and work less so I feel it's only fair.
My husband keeps making comments about how much free time I get and how I had all day to myself. I pointed out that I didn't have the day to myself I was doing stuff and he scoffed and said so "you weren't browsing for yourself either I suppose". I was gone 5 hours with two or those hours travel time.
Aibu or should I have been chained to the sink doing the dishes all day. I even left him lunch as he was working from home.

It was free time but your husband's comment is still shitty

Yes its free time which you ARE entitled too!

But she's pointing out that she's shopping for her in-laws Christmas presents?

I am firmly in the camp that dh can look after presents for his own family so no arguments there but OP says she always does it at her own agreement.

Tbh it was the term "emotional labour" that irked me. It's up there with wife work, life admin and mental load. Generally adds up to martyrdom and women hoping their husbands take a subtle hint instead of a practical discussion about who is doing what this week.

You say it was a day off work today due to annual leave so yes, it was free time. If you chose to spend it shopping, that was your choice. But it was a choice you had that he didn't. And if you did practical things with it and now resent it, then more fool you for not doing something nice and relaxing with your DAY OFF.

YABU to be doing Christmas shopping on September. So have this

Free time, I chose to do what you have chosen to do myself in my free time but as I chose to do it and it is not 'forced' (I think I have heard it all now) then it is still doing something in my free time.

And what the heck is 'emotional labour' - if a person does not want to shop for IL's or do any shopping for anyone else they don't have to, I chose to sometimes and own that choice.

😂 YABU OP that was free time wish I had that free time 😂

Whilst it was free time, my issue would be with the total lack of respect he is showing at you working for the family.

For a start, I would ask him what he is planning on getting his family (inlcuding your kids) for Xmas and what part of his free time he will be using to buy it as you will no longer be "wasting" yours if that is how he sees it.

Sorry - that’s definitely free time!

My ex MIL used to always complain how incredibly busy she was.... yes, busy shopping, getting her hair done, etc

Definitely not free time. I hate shopping and would never spend ‘free time’ doing it out of choice. I want to say let your husband do it next time if he thinks it’s such a treat but I would never trust my husband to come back with suitable gifts.

Tell him you're really sorry and next time you have a day off you'll make sure that you don't enjoy it in any way whatsoever.

Eh, free time is when you have nothing to do.
You had xmas shopping to do, your dh wasn't doing it. It needs doing. YANBU

Well, I hate shopping, so when I steel myself to "go and do the Christmas shopping" in a couple of months time, I definitely would have that as a "job that has to be done" and not as free time.
If, OTOH, you are a person that likes shopping, and you've been for a long browse, and had a nice day off, then it is different.

I was talking about similar with a friend recently - she thought I was a bit of a hero to go and watch dc play football, but I don't consider it a 'chore' as it is something I enjoy. Going to sit through a school concert OTOH when they started learning instruments, was definitely a chore for me to be borne with a fixed smile.
If my dc wasn't playing one match, I would still choose to go to the football.
If I didn't have to get all the Christmas presents, I definitely would NOT be spending a day shopping.
So depends on what you'd have done with the day if you weren't using it to get all the extended family's presents.

yabu. That’s free time. That you chose to spend shopping

Not free time.
Bit like saying only paid work is work.

It was free time - and you totally wasted it. Let him do his own Christmas shopping.

You are bonkers if you don't count having the day off as free time. Who cares what you were doing? You still had the day off.

Free time

Your husband is a dick.

I’d just tell him to fuck off. It was annual leave, why does he begrudge you having time to yourself anyway?

Well yes, it was free time, but you chose to spend it doing something useful for him. Next time don't make that choice, because he clearly doesn't appreciate it. He sounds like a bit of a dick.

he scoffed and said so "you weren't browsing for yourself either I suppose".

I wonder how much of he time he spent "working from home" was actually spent working and not on dong things for himself, e.g. personal phone calls, personal internet browsing, taking extra time over lunch and tea breaks, staring out of the window, answering the door etc etc.

Such a non conversation!

I wonder how much of he time he spent "working from home" was actually spent working and not on dong things for himself, e.g. personal phone calls, personal internet browsing, taking extra time over lunch and tea breaks, staring out of the window, answering the door etc etc.

Ah... I really miss working from home

So if it’s not free time, what is it? You weren’t working for your boss, you had free choice what time to leave, where you go, how long to spend there, what to wear, which route to get there, how much to spend, what to buy for whom, what to eat or to eat nothing at all. If that’s not the very definition of freedom then you have no idea how large numbers of people live in this world.