To call the school to complain DD not allowed to use toilet in class time

[BananaLlamaConCalma]

DD is 9/year 4.

They are allowed/encouraged to have a flask on their desk and drink throughout the day. DD appears to have necked hers today and needed a wee. She asked the teacher if she could go to the toilet. He said no, you can't go in class time. She asked again a little while later terrified she was going to have an accident. He again said no. She started crying as she thought she would have an accident in front of the class. She was then allowed to go.

I agree that children shouldn't waste time and did say to her that she should learn from this to drink an appropriate amount for the time but why is she not allowed a wee in lesson times? We were! She has said previously she holds it in all day. Didn't realise this was why. Also, what if she had her period? I know other girls who have started at that age!

So do I call him and say it's unfair and if she needs a wee she is to go or just leave it?

I hate teachers that refuse toilet breaks. It should always be a yes, i'd rather a disruptive naughty child abuse this than the genuine ones suffer.

Op i had to speak to school several times and in the end they gave my dc a special permission but its still 'why didnt you go in break time no you cant go now' to the rest of class. I remember the pain and discomfort and embarrassment of waiting because the teacher wouldnt allow me to go. Fucking wankers.

This is ridiculous! As if teachers leave children crying because they need the toilet! They usually ask once, you ask them to wait until someone else gets back from the toilet, you have finished explaining the task etc. Most of the time and they never ask again. The only time I’ve had children wet themselves is because they have left it too late because they are playing or engaged in what they are doing. It IS disruptive and once you let one child go, EVERYONE will want to go because they remember they can! Like when one child coughs in assembly and then, miraculously, half the school then has to have a little cough. Am I right, fellow teachers? People saying it is crazy obviously don’t spend days with large numbers of children, and I say this as a toilet liberal!

Honest, if you’ve never been a teacher you really don’t have a clue. It’s not as easy as ‘just let them go the moment they ask’
Your attitude would change pretty swiftly in you were put in front of a class of 30.
Of course judgement has to be used to decide if the child really needs it or not but there are many times where they all just want to get out of the classroom, not actually use the loo

Well, on one hand OP, I agree with you. I’ve been a teacher for years and I’ve always disliked this rule (and several others). But, I do know that when I worked at school, allowing students to go to the loo in lesson time, when corridors and the bathroom were most likely empty, was seen as a safeguarding risk. Student could slip and fall, have some other accident, hurt themselves, leave school, we were even told they could potentially do even more serious things. So teacher probably isn’t being a knob, just doing as they’re told from above. Personally I think if you need the loo, you should be able to go. But there’s lots of guidance put out to staff and if you don’t follow it, you’re in trouble. I work in FE and we still have this rule. Once a manager sat in the communal area and made a tally chart of the number of students I ‘allowed’ to go to the loo (3 in a 9-5 day) and this was then presented to me as ‘evidence’ in my appraisal. My students are all 16 +.

I hate it when people say things along the lines of "I'm a teacher and I have to wait". Yes but you're an adult and know to go at break /lunch time. Young children don't have the same control.
I think I'm angry because my daughter is a teenager now and still suffers from bladder problems which was never the case until she had that Y1 teacher.

Hi everyone. Thanks for your responses on this.

I have asked DD what policy was with previous teachers and it appears to be fine to go unless you're a pisstaker and the teacher monitors this. So she never thought there would be an issue.

DD would prefer me not to raise this issue but I think I will.

Of course she should be allowed to go.

It’s a shocking rule, our school tell us to not allow toileting during lessons, even pre Covid. I once allowed a kid to go during my lesson and a member of SLT marched him back in, poor kid was upset that he may have got me in trouble for allowing him to go.

It's so weird that we do this to kids. Can you imagine being told that you're not allowed to go for a wee for half an hour at work?

That is so cruel.

And an excellent way to get a bladder infection/anxiety.

No wonder so many parents are pulling their children out of schools.

It them then means I have those kids not understanding the concept being taught and I then have to spend time with them explaining it all again, Well, that's a standard issue every teacher has to deal with. There are loads of work rounds.

Try working with elite athletes who come in late because their coach didn't finish a training session on time, constantly getting the last 4 or 5 mionutes of vital training in before letting them go back to lessons... at A Level. You soon choose 4 or 5 solutions that you prefer and they get used to dealing with it.

Having said that, as a ateacher, we don't get to nip to the loo if we are caught short. That's why we have bladders of steel.. and all the usual problems that go with it!

I once had a call from my Y2 DD's school to collect her after she had been sick. She had thrown up all over her eldest shared with another 3 children and their work.
I asked why she hadn't run to the toilet and she said that Miss does not allow them to go to the toilet in class time and I said that in this instance I'm sure they would have let her and Shen future just to go(rather than clean up a load of vomit) and she said she darent ask as Miss tells them off when they ask!

i worked retail checkouts for 15 years.. we were only allowed a break every 4hrs, so if i needed to go, i had to alert my supervisor so they could close my checkout and make sure they were covered for me to slip out for 10 minutes.

As an adult, i'm aware of my bladder and if i can/can't hold it, and ask to leave my checkout with enough notice to not wet myself... a child often does not have that kind of forethought or ability to 'hold' it if they have to wait a while.

Also in regards to the 2hrs, women especially around their period can wee more than normal as any water retained before their period is let go off.. so yes, we can 'need' to pee every couple of hours.. then their is 'coffee/tea pee which in my experience, can sneak up on you and not be held for love nor money ..

if that happens to co-incide with being at work, then you ask to leave the till to go pee... also as an adult i am perfectly capable of making the decision to just get up and go if its an emergency!!

@fastandthecurious

I've always found this so so weird. Never have I worked in a job where I had to hold my urine till my break time. Why should young children have to? As long as they aren't taking the pods and going every 30 mins I don't see the problem with allowing a child to use the bathroom when they need to.

You’ve never been a teacher then!

I think asking three times to go to the loo and crying us ridiculous, and I would probably speak to the teacher about this. It's quite clear that she was desperate for a wee if she kept asking. What an idiotic bellend.

Hercwasonaroll

Im guessing the teachers arnt 9 yo though....

YANBU. What unkindness. What sad replies from people who think yAbu.

It is disgraceful to see professionals claiming it is fine to deny children timely use of a toilet because it disrupts their lesson. Disruption is annoying but not being allowed to go to the toilet when you need to is cruel.

Why are so many posters equating a teacher's or shop floor worker's etc bladder control to that of a nine year old?

Kids are just a valid, if she needs the toilet she needs the toilet. Surely the lesson would be more interrupted by the same question asked numerous time and her bursting into tears.

'Can I go to the toilet?' 'Yes, but be quick.' 'Thanks miss.'

Why are so many posters equating a teacher's or shop floor worker's etc bladder control to that of a nine year old? I think you may have misunderstood at least some of those comments (like mine, perhaps!)!

Although based on this thread, clearly our human right to go to the toilet at the very second we want to should trump our safeguarding responsibilities as teachers.

Refusing to allow a child to use a toilet when they need to could very well be raised as a safeguarding concern. That it would be so dangerous for a child to be in your school's corridors and/ or toilets outside of break times would be a concern in itself, and one your SLT should address sooner rather than later.

I hate it when people misuse 'safeguarding' to excuse poor practise.

Two questions:

• Had she only just come back from break?
• Does she ask nearly every day?

Because that's what kids do. They run around and have fun at break, 'forget' to go to the loo, sit for 5 minutes and put their hand up to use the loo.

Or maybe she just asks every day and the teacher got a bit fed up.

I'm a secondary teacher turned peripatetic primary MFL teacher. It seems that primary age kids need a wee constantly. I always let them go, but it does absolutely do my blooming head in tbh. I can easily have 8 or 9 ask to go to the loo in a half hour lesson. And no, it's not possible to tell whether they really want to go or not. It's really disruptive to the lesson. I'd be surprised if they were doing it to escape my lessons tbh - we mostly play games and do fun stuff and they're all really enthusiastic.

Can't you just tell the teacher that you do not consent to them stopping your childing using the bathroom when they need it?