To call the school to complain DD not allowed to use toilet in class time

[BananaLlamaConCalma]

DD is 9/year 4.

They are allowed/encouraged to have a flask on their desk and drink throughout the day. DD appears to have necked hers today and needed a wee. She asked the teacher if she could go to the toilet. He said no, you can't go in class time. She asked again a little while later terrified she was going to have an accident. He again said no. She started crying as she thought she would have an accident in front of the class. She was then allowed to go.

I agree that children shouldn't waste time and did say to her that she should learn from this to drink an appropriate amount for the time but why is she not allowed a wee in lesson times? We were! She has said previously she holds it in all day. Didn't realise this was why. Also, what if she had her period? I know other girls who have started at that age!

So do I call him and say it's unfair and if she needs a wee she is to go or just leave it?

I’d be fairly annoyed- holding a full bladder isn’t good for anyone let alone a child. Holding urine can cause bacteria to sit and multiply causing a UTI.

A childs bladder aged between 4-12 takes between 2-4 hours to be considered full.

Children should absolutely be allowed to go to the toilet during class with having to ask twice. I understand a “can you hold it for 5 minutes until class ends?” But if there’s 25 minutes left that’s just horrible.

Plus we spend a good amount of time training our children to go to the toilet regularly. I don’t want that undone by a teacher.

I had a teacher who really wouldn’t let you go no matter what. I could feel my sanitary towel leaking on one of his lessons. I was too embarrassed to say to an adult maid why I needed to go to the loos. My underwear got a lot of blood on it which dried, the dried blood made the scalloped elastic at the edge of my pants hard which acted like a serrated blunt knife as I walked home (30 minutes) I ended up with an awful raw area on the soft skin where my leg connects at the groin. My mum was angry with the school and told me if I need to go then just go as access to the loo is a basic human right.

[quote unmarkedbythat]@ThisIsMeOrIsIt teachers like you give me hope :)[/quote]
Thank you. This incident early on in my career has definitely impacted who I am in the classroom.

There are genuine requests for the toilet but, like it or not, there are also plenty of not so genuine requests from kids in school. Plenty of children use it as a way to avoid working. Some children hang around and chat in the toilets. Very often children arrange with their friends to meet up in there. Teachers/TAs have all these to consider before they let a child go.
Obviously all MN have wonderful, engaged, angel children who would never ask to go to the toilet in order to get out of maths/writing etc but reality is in schools there are lots of very challenging children who disrupt lessons and teachers have to work hard to keep everyone focused and engaged.

At the moment it is also tricky because of COVID bubbles. At many schools each class have scheduled toilet time so they can get each bubble through and the toilets cleaned before the next bubbles turn. All toilet trips have to be accompanied by a TA which takes them out of class for significant portions of the day when they could be doing catch up interventions. Not every school has sufficient toilets. It's currently very difficult to just let children drift off to the toilet any time they like.

It doesn't do a child any harm to hang on for a bit. My own son had problems with day time continence and the consultant said it was very important to get him to hang on as it helps the bladder to strengthen and get bigger (in adult females it also strengthens the pelvic floor). Urine does contain very small amounts of bacteria but holding on until break will not suddenly cause a UTI to develop in 15/30 minutes otherwise everyone would wake up in the morning with UTIs. I used to work in a supermarket and couldn't go to the loo whenever I felt like it, I had to hold on in the same way as most other working people do and yet the human race carries on without everyone developing UTIs.

If a child is desperate of course they can go. I usually ask if they are desperate or if they can hold on until toilet time. If they appear desperate or tell me they are desperate then they can go. Children in Year R or Yr 1 can go as soon as they ask but by Year 2 we would hope they have a bit of control and can wait until an appropriate part of the lesson and by Year 3 a fair bit of control. Year 4/5/6 I think it's reasonable to think they can hold on for a bit.

The problem is often children don't want to go to the toilet at breaks as they would rather play. Before breaks I always tell everyone to go to the toilet. It's just like telling a child to go to the loo before a long car journey.

Remember there are 30 odd children in a class and it can be very disruptive if children are constantly going out of lessons to the toilet.

Covid policy has Children’s shit on its hands

A tad off beat here, but it's amazing how many children need the loo after break time, during which they can freely go to the toilet.
It tends to happen at the beginning of maths or when they know they have to write something for literacy.
Hardly any requests during art or PE.

@1Morewineplease

A tad off beat here, but it's amazing how many children need the loo after break time, during which they can freely go to the toilet. It tends to happen at the beginning of maths or when they know they have to write something for literacy. Hardly any requests during art or PE.

Yes, the existence of an English or Maths assessment for older students directly correlates with a massive surge in crippling period pains and phantom vomiting/Covid symptoms (ie, nobody ever sees or hears them). It will always spontaneously resolve if the bell goes for lunchtime or the end of the day.

My son’s year 4 teacher was like this. He got so stressed out he was going to the toilet so often in the breaks he weakened his bladder and then could no longer hold wee for long. One day he went and lunch and 40mins later during class he needed to pee again - teacher said no - he ended losing control and wetting himself when he was concentrating on school work. Thankfully his bladder wasn’t that full so it was not a huge puddle - but I spoke to the teacher she then let him go to the toilet when needed to help build his bladder back up to full strength.
I get some children use toilet breaks for a distraction - but some teachers go too far. I would speak to teacher.

@Apples92andpearsstairs

Oh sod off, toilet troll

Teachers are damned either way it seems, even in non-Covid times. The children who lie to get time out of the classroom spoil it for those who have genuinely misjudged their bladder's response as the OPs DD may have done, or have bowel issues/periods/illness etc.

Probably those who lied as children about desperate needs for the toilet are those now as adults who are making up health issues to avoid wearing face coverings or other excuses as to why Covid 19 rules or guidance should not apply to them.

I know from my own childhood and previous experience as a teacher that sometimes kids just need a break from the classroom. I hated being in forced company all day every day as a child and was desperate for the brief oasis of calm just pottering to a silent girls toilet could bring for a few minutes. I feel so sorry for today’s kids being policed and hassled and not allowed those brief moments of solitude

Remember a new teacher implementing this policy when I was the same age. After a few months, enough parents had complained that he was quietly told to stop. Horrible policy but no dramas, thankfully.

Understand teachers needing to maintain order but these are young children. They should be encouraged to go during break times but not prohibited during class.

YANBU...complain to the school.