To think why this is one of the reasons we have an obesity problem.

[Delamalama]

Friend on facebook has put about 2 stone on this past year. She posted a selfie the other day with a statement saying how she's finally learning to love herself, she may not be perfect but it's her body and she loves it!!! She's on the verge of being obese and suffers with chronic backache. Of course she had comments saying 'looking good hun' 'you beauty!' Etc.

I've noticed quite a lot of younger ones doing this 'be fat and proud' crap.

Am I wrong to think that this along with many other things is why we have an obesity problem.

You sound a bit jealous that she’s getting positive comments from others. Let me guess, is she more attractive than you by any chance?

I understand your point OP, but I don't think it will make people aspire to be overweight or dissuade them from losing weight. I think it's more just that fat shaming is so demoralising and humiliating (and the reasons for being overweight are often quite complex) that people are choosing to speak out in acceptance of the bodies they currently have to feel more positive about themselves. This is a much better position to start caring for yourself and looking after your health than hating your body.

I got bullied for being large at school for maybe 2 years until the weight fell off, and have had weight struggles due to medication as an adult (currently a lot slimmer than I was).

The bullying as a kid, comments and criticism from my family, plus as an adult knowing (at a particularly toxic job) that I was being judged, just made me feel worthless and didn't encourage me to lose weight. For reference, I was a tallish size 16 at my biggest so definitely overweight but not absolutely enormous.

I wouldn't join the 'fat positive' movement. But, I am in favour of tolerance also pushing back against online and real world bullying.

For instance, PE was awful and I still feel horribly self conscious out running. Just my 2p worth, but if this makes some women realise that whatever their weight, they have as much right to be accepted as anyone else and grow in confidence, perhaps it could actually promote improved fitness and health.

@titsaleena

You sound a bit jealous that she’s getting positive comments from others. Let me guess, is she more attractive than you by any chance?

Impossible, she is fat

^^not a serious comment, obviously.

Completely agree op. Being overweight is so normal in the UK nowadays that people don't notice or care anymore.

I get what you mean op, even if others don't. People are now refusing to allow 'fat shaming' at all, yet its still fine to call someone who is the correct weight 'anorexic, skinny bitch, stretch' etc. You're still shaming someone's weight. But the point is that being overweight is being made to seem better, like you should be overweight or you're not a woman. There's literally been posts saying that, I have curves and am a real woman, not a skinny board. Being overweight is being idealised. They did the same several centuries ago didn't they, being fat was idealised because it meant you were rich.

It shouldn't be. You get health problems with being fat, that would go away or be less of a problem if you weren't fat. Like back pain, knee pain, hip pain etc. You live a shorter life, you have lung problems, heart problems, problems with conceiving children.

You shouldn't be made to feel bad about being overweight, but it shouldn't be accepted and encouraged either. There's a fine line between those things.

I agree OP but its not a popular opinion. I'm not saying fat shaming is ok but I do think we are losing sight of what a normal, healthy weight is. I'm part of an antenatal group and there are lots of ladies who are obese etc who.just dont seem to acknowledge that it is a health problem.

If you wouldn't clap at an adult woman with BMI 13, you shouldn't clap at woman with bmi 60. Both are killing themselves, just the latter one slower.

I agree with pps. Op wasn't not saying anything about shaming. Not applauding isn't shaming.

We have a culture of promoting lots of unhealthy beauty standards, being overweight is on a long list of many of them.

I know from experience that hating yourself because you’re overweight isn’t going to achieve anything. In fact this is how I ended up putting on more and more weight and sinking into depression with absolutely 0 confidence and worsening anxiety, which only led me to eat more and get out exercising less. Loving yourself is a far better place to be.

I suspect that almost all who post this type of thing (and those who respond positively) know very well that being obese is unhealthy... and on a shallow note, that they would look better (to most people) if they were slim.

I'm not sure if this "body positivity" movement/trend will lead to higher obesity levels, but obesity was a problem for a long time before it came along.

People being miserable about their weight doesn't always make them shed the pounds. If someone can't lose the weight for whatever reason, I wouldn't want them to hate themselves for it... but neither would I lie and say that I think it's good to just accept obesity and pretend that it has no negative consequences.

Ultimately, it's none of my business, so I just ignore it (like so many other things that people choose to post on social media).

OP, you're wasting your breath. Everyone will tell you how you should be ashamed of yourself for fat shaming.

I totally agree with you, but most people (generally those overweight and/or obese who you're hoping the message gets through to) won't.

assuming you are overweight or obese- I am genuinely interested, why do you have the right to be proud of being obese? Why does it make you proud?

I am proud of me. The weight I carry is part of me, my life, the result of good and bad stuff. I am not going to hide myself away because you can’t get past it. I am not the sum total of weight. There is much more to me.

@boomboomg

OP, you're wasting your breath. Everyone will tell you how you should be ashamed of yourself for fat shaming.

I totally agree with you, but most people (generally those overweight and/or obese who you're hoping the message gets through to) won't.

What message is that?

There's plenty of research showing that fat-shaming doesn't work and that people do best at maintaining healthy lifestyles when they value themselves and have decent self-esteem. For example:

www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC4236245/

But it does spoil the fun for insecure people whose insecurities don't involve a weight problem and who therefore see fat people as fair game, of course.

Sorry that everyone isn't a size 8 like you.

I’m overweight. I’m not proud to be overweight but I’m proud of my body which despite me being closer to the obese category than the healthy one keeps me going all day every day, can carry me at a steady jog round a half marathon, takes me hiking and biking, grew my dcs and fed them. It’s a pretty awesome body and the fact I tend towards putting on weight easily with the slightest bit too much food and drink (high quality not junk) is the only issue I have with it and not worth hating myself for.

I do think being overweight has become normal and therefore accepted, especially in children. So many children are overweight now, they don’t stand out and when parents are pulled up on it they are horrified because they didn’t really notice. It’s a big problem.

@OhToBeASeahorse

I agree OP but its not a popular opinion. I'm not saying fat shaming is ok but I do think we are losing sight of what a normal, healthy weight is. I'm part of an antenatal group and there are lots of ladies who are obese etc who.just dont seem to acknowledge that it is a health problem.

Do you think these random women in your antenatal class should be continuously apologising to you, and a basic stranger, for being overweight?

Could it be they just don't talk about it, because, you know, they are actually
deeply self conscious or full of shame regarding their weight.

I'm so on the fence here i've got splinters up my arse!

I don't think anyone gets fat because they feel more beautiful fat.

I don't think fat shaming helps anyone lose weight.

BUT - i think there might be a point at which a person who might otherwise try and lose a bit of weight will look for reasons not to bother. ie: seeking out 'you're gorgeous as you are' comments.

YANBU

It's a horribly unhealthy attitude. There's nothing to be proud of and boast about.

It's just as bad as pretending that curvy and fat are the same, and that loving your curves means you should be proud of an unhealthy body.

Scarlet Johansson, Jennifer Lopez, Beyonce are curvy. They are not fat.

Trying to deny the obvious is a lazy and dangerous trend.

I do think being overweight has become normal and therefore accepted, especially in children. So many children are overweight now, they don’t stand out and when parents are pulled up on it they are horrified because they didn’t really notice. It’s a big problem

Agree with this 100%
If there are no health issues/ medication then there is no reason for a child to be overweight.

It is completely on the parents.

For young kids anyway.

@Kittytheteapot

I don't think fat people should hate themselves, but I do think they should hate their fat.

I think this is it. That's how I feel. I like myself, but god do I not like the fat. Problem is that as it is part of the body, many people couldn't think of it as a separate entity somewhat. I like whatever my fat is hiding and I am coming out of that hiding.

If average clothes size is a 6 or 8, and you wear an 8, you feel average.

If you are told average clothes sizes (after vanity sizing!) are 14-16, you feel fine wearing a 16. The fact is, wearing a 14 or 16 of today's sizes means you ARE overweight. Pretending you are not means people don't wake up or make the effort to go back to an healthy weight.

cue the posts about "skinny" posters proudly wearing size 16, but in reality if you are tall, you wear tall sizes, not larger ones.

As I said earlier i was obese myself many years ago so I know how hard it is to lose weight and how horrible it is to be looked at and treated like shit because you're fat.

Oddly enough, same friend put a selfie on earlier in the year saying she'd lost half a stone and was looking forward to losing the rest. Nowhere near as many comments or likes as there was for the fat and proud post.

I think it’s possible to acknowledge that you’re overweight, working to improve that but at the same time not hating your bigger body and self flagellating along the way. But some people think that fat people should hate every fibre of their own body and only wear giant sacks because anything else is encouraging them!

But obesity isn’t really glamourised despite what people say - we don’t have a multi pound industry dedicated to gaining weight!