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Original poster

To think why this is one of the reasons we have an obesity problem.

665 replies

Delamalama · 27/09/2020 16:37

Friend on facebook has put about 2 stone on this past year. She posted a selfie the other day with a statement saying how she's finally learning to love herself, she may not be perfect but it's her body and she loves it!!! She's on the verge of being obese and suffers with chronic backache. Of course she had comments saying 'looking good hun' 'you beauty!' Etc.

I've noticed quite a lot of younger ones doing this 'be fat and proud' crap.

Am I wrong to think that this along with many other things is why we have an obesity problem.

OP posts:
Notimeforaname · 27/09/2020 16:52

Obviously if no underlying health issues or medication/depression is causing the weight and it's just from lack of healthy eating and laziness ...then yes I think it's a bad idea to to normalise obesity.

AntiHop · 27/09/2020 16:53

You sound smug and superior op.

ShebaShimmyShake · 27/09/2020 16:53

It's more likely to be a backlash against 24/7 skinny models on Instagram and Twitter. Honestly, if making fat people feel ugly and worthless worked, we wouldn't have an obesity problem at all.

Igotthemheavyboobs · 27/09/2020 16:54

@Delamalama

I just meant it's becoming almost normal to be fat now so people don't try to lose weight. I was obese myself 15 years ago but I was in the minority so was desperate to lose weight which I did. Now, it's fine to be overweight as a lot are.

I'm not fat shaming either. I remember how awful it was to be laughed at and called names.

I can assure you, it is not fine to be overweight now. I am fat because I hate myself, I eat a lot of food I know is bad for me and then I force myself to be sick, unfortunately this purging cycle doesn't make everyone thin. Who knew!?

If someone said I looked nice one day, it might help me like myself a bit more and in turn encourage me to try and take better care of myself. Just a thought.

Maybe you should delete your 'friend' you don't seen to like her very much.

Time2change2 · 27/09/2020 16:54

I agree with you OP and it’s a minority view but to my mind that’s part of the problem in the UK.
No need to say anything rude or horrible but neither should we be saying that obese is ok and lovely. It’s not. Not for you, not for your family who are at a far greater risk of losing you early or having to care for you early, or for the NHS and millions of people who are paying to see to your healthcare needs in the future.
Of course you can still be a wonderful kind and beautiful person, not many would debate that- it’s only fat, not a personality transplant! But something needs to change because currently we are on course to having nearly 70% of the population overweight or obese. Clearly this is not ok.
It’s not just people saying it’s acceptable and fine, it’s vanity clothing, horrible fake calorie dense foods, advertising, lifestyle choices and a whole bunch of other things which are driving this. However the level of fat acceptance IMO is just not allowing a change in mindset, rather it’s actually making the problem worse.

Enoughnowstop · 27/09/2020 16:54

There is nothing to be proud about being overweight

I am fat. There is much that Inhave done in my life that I am proud of and have an absolute right to be proud of. I am not just a fat person. There is so much more to me.

I am also grateful that bigots like you don’t hide away so I am able to avoid having much to do with you. If I want to post a photo of myself declaring I love myself I will do. Because loving myself is about way, way more than my body weight. It is sad that people like you can’t see past the outer package. You miss out on so much.

MaxinesTaxi · 27/09/2020 16:56

Don’t worry, your opinion that being fat is shameful isn’t going out of fashion. It’s completely mainstream, you aren’t saying anything edgy or controversial. And also a good reason for people struggling to lose weight. Well done for being part of the problem OP

Frenzies · 27/09/2020 16:57

@ShebaShimmyShake

It's more likely to be a backlash against 24/7 skinny models on Instagram and Twitter. Honestly, if making fat people feel ugly and worthless worked, we wouldn't have an obesity problem at all.
Exactly.
MaxinesTaxi · 27/09/2020 16:58

It’s really really not a minority view that “fat acceptance” causes obesity. Loads of people think like that. Loads of people think that being fat is shameful, immoral even (especially since Covid).

Time2change2 · 27/09/2020 16:58

@Enoughnowstop it’s not bigoted to say being fat is nothing to be proud of. It IS bigoted to say I hate anyone who is fat which i don’t think the OP has said here.
Also when obese people post about loving themselves they by and large are not talking about their personality. These posts are normally centred around the outer package and how the person looks and the being comfortable in your skin

Rocknroller42 · 27/09/2020 16:59

OP why not just focus on your own life and weight instead of judging others? If you're going down the 'fatties are putting a strain on the NHS route' to cover up your horrible judginess then I hope you're also directing your vitriol towards drinkers and smokers too.
It's really not your business what anyone else puts in their mouth. I'm overweight and not happy about it but I have nothing but respect for those who are comfortable in their own skin and can let the horrible views of people like you go over their heads.

KnightsofColumbusThatHurt · 27/09/2020 17:00

Well, it's a tricky one really isn't it?

You wouldn't expect people to comment 'actually you are enormous, lose some weight for Christ sake' would you?!

But on the other hand, I do agree that 'fat acceptance' and the apparent complete denial that being overweight can have major impacts on your health, particularly among young people, is a problem.

There was an article doing the rounds yesterday about how people who have bigger thighs and bum are likely to live longer. Now, obviously they were talking about people who store weight there rather than round their bellies, and are still talking about people who are a 14 or 16 at most. It was accompanied by a picture of a couple who looked probably slightly overweight and storing fat on, well, their thighs and bum! Anyway, there were lots of comments along the lines of 'I hardly think those two have big bums' and 'finally I knew being fat had its advantages' and 'thick thighs for the win'. Completely misinterpreting what the article was saying.

There was a 'body positive' Instagrammer who the other week was talking about how the claims that being obese raises your risk of serious Covid complications as 'totally unsubstantiated'. I also saw quite a lot of outcry when CRUK did an ad about obesity as one of the risk factors for cancer.

There is definitely a lot of denial out there, and in the long run this is going to have a detrimental effect.

Telling people they are fatties isn't really the answer though I dont think!

Emeraldshamrock · 27/09/2020 17:01

Why don't you comment this in her wall OP? Just tell her she shouldn't like or love herself coz she is a fat cow
You are right it is exactly what OP is thinking by starting this thread. Shock
Like a pp said weight does Not equal worth many amazing caring supportive people carry extra weight.
It is modern western society a few stone is nothing.

Enoughnowstop · 27/09/2020 17:01

Also when obese people post about loving themselves they by and large are not talking about their personality

See, I wasn’t talking about my personality either. You are part of the problem. I have a right to be proud of all of me. Every last bit.

fallfallfall · 27/09/2020 17:02

Loosing weight is hard, please be a bit more supportive. Has she spoken to her Dr., there are new medications available, which she may not be aware of.

Time2change2 · 27/09/2020 17:02

But it’s not about being shameful? Where has the OP said they thing it’s shameful? It’s not about a fat woman hating herself either? It’s about something that is not healthy and not promoting that. It’s a bad habit to eat too much food. Not something to be shameful about but something to correct and work for many health benefits?

CarterBeatsTheDevil · 27/09/2020 17:02

Fat people are allowed to think that they're also attractive and deserving of love and respect. That's all your friend means, OP.

LyingWitchInTheWardrobe · 27/09/2020 17:02

You're a goady one, aren't you, OP? I think you have zero awareness of other people and an over-inflated sense of importance of your own narrow views.

Do you really think that people who are overweight are unaware of the fact?

Do you truly think they can fool themselves that they are not carrying extra weight?

Do you actually believe that they are unaware that people like you will be judging them at every turn?

My weight goes up and down and I have to work quite hard to keep a grip on it. It gives me some inside knowledge perhaps of how others in the same situation might feel. You talk of 'young ones', well imagine how difficult it must be for somebody who is young, to have put on a significant amount of weight. To not be able to fit into fashionable clothes or, if they can find them - to not look the same as their peers. Fitting in with ones tribe is a key indicator of belonging and those who are unable to fit within the tribe's parameters are on a hiding to nothing because there is so much impotent judgement from society.

Yes, achieving and maintaining a healthy and weigh is the objective but, does anybody really think that bitchy comments from others does anything to achieve that? Or do the bitches just not care, just so long as they themselves can find a 'tribe' to bitch with?

Why do some people feel the need to keep on and on? It's like a favourite hobbyhorse for the unimaginative, it really is.

ShouldWeChangeTheBulb · 27/09/2020 17:03

Yes your right OP I know a ton of healthy thin people who have intentionally got fat for this very reason.

ComeOnBabyPopMyBubble · 27/09/2020 17:04

I've been fat since childhood. Lost weight a few times but it always came back with extra on top. Fun times.

However, I can count on the fingers of my hands the amount of years I've been if not happy,then at least ok with how I am and how I look.

Time2change2 · 27/09/2020 17:04

@Enoughnowstop assuming you are overweight or obese- I am genuinely interested, why do you have the right to be proud of being obese? Why does it make you proud? I’m not meaning that in a nasty way, i really do want to know your thoughts

LyingWitchInTheWardrobe · 27/09/2020 17:04

Posted too soon - I meant to add that I'm sure that some people post 'fat and happy' messages as a form of defence, to insulate and protect themselves from the all-too-loud judgement from those who can't help themselves.

Notimeforaname · 27/09/2020 17:05

I had put on almost 2 stone over the course of a year, and whilst I was still in a normal weight range and not classed as over weight, it was the first time I'd ever been so heavy and I felt so unbelievably uncomfortable doing everything. Walking, putting my coat on, bending down, doing my hair.
I felt it, 24/7

I did eventually get back to my normal weight but
this has such an awful effect on your mood and self esteem and for some, food/emotional eating can be their only crutch.
It's an awful cycle to be in and for some people it can be an addiction.

Fat shaming will not change anything but equally celebrating it won't help either. Everyone has a personal struggle and it's not as simple as most (thinner) people think.

VimFuego101 · 27/09/2020 17:05

It's hard to lose weight when you dislike yourself. It's much easier (and healthier) to start from a place of being happy with yourself and working to improve.

HamishDent · 27/09/2020 17:06

You can only be responsible for your own weight and that of your children if they are still at home. People who are overweight know they are and are fully aware of the health consequences. You can’t make someone lose weight by shaming them into it. They have to make the decision themselves and sometimes they never do.

I think people make these comments to make themselves feel better about their current situation and why not. They deserve to feel comfortable in their own skin, overweight or not. Ultimately it’s them who will pay the price in the long term and there’s no getting away from that.