I have a 9 week old baby so I am a bit tired and emotional (maybe?)
My partner is self employed tradesman, steady work but sometimes busier than others.
I am on mat leave.
Yesterday we spoke about his day today and he told me he had a busy day in Manchester and had a deadline for completing a job by Monday. Manchester is an hour away. I encouraged him to get an early night after he came home in preparation.
This morning baby had slept through for the first time... until 8am!
So we were up later than usual, he offered to help with baby whilst I had a quick shower (baby has been fussy and a bit unwell since vaccinations a few days ago). I said no, because of his busy day and encouraged him to go to work and have a good day etc.
We text a few times during the day but didn't talk specifics about where he was etc and we were in contact a bit less than usual but I didn't think anything of it, for example he usually sends me a 'just got to the job hope the baby is settled, have you managed to get him to nap etc ' type of text. But he didn't and I didn't think anything just that he was busy and sent him a pic of baby.
So I noticed that something I had been wanting for a while was on sale local to where he was and asked if he nipped out would he collect it if it was convenient when he was getting food or something but fine if not, he was really receptive of this and said he would get it.
Fast forward to 5pm and he texts me saying he is collecting what I asked for.
6pm texts to say he has got it
6:15pm says he is stuck in traffic. I never asked for any of these updates, wasn't like I was hassling him or anything.
He arrives home at half 9.
Honestly it's only since looking back I've noticed the timeline as I was busy with baby.
So (sorry if this is dragging on)
He comes in the house and I thank him for getting item and he says 'when we picked it up'. And I notice the 'we' he knows I've noticed and he looks like a deer in the headlights.
I ask about this and he says. 'Yeah my brother. I picked him up on the way'
Now his brother lives about a 25 minute drive out of the way of where he said he was working and nowhere near where I asked him to go.
When I pointed this out he got defensive and said he was working at a different location to what he had said, in which case the errand I had asked him to run would ha e meant him going an hour out of his way and a further detour to collect his brother.
Makes no sense already.
I press him, in a non aggressive way to ask him what really went on today.
He got really defensive and said I was trying to stop him seeing his brother (not even remotely true and no backstory regarding this, me and his brother get on well and see him regularly) and was rude to me and basically said I was being controlling.
I explained that it wasn't about control it was about being lied to.
He came back with a present for me ?
Oh and he usually wears work clothes that show clear signs that he has been at work, he wasn't wearing these, I just didn't notice this morning.
So basically I'm being cheated on right?
Was the present guilt?
Did he just want a day away from me and baby?
And he's done a few 'all nighters' at work recently because he was being due to taking additional days off to spend time with baby.
Or so I thought
Aibu =
Yes you are being controlling it's non of your business what he does
No - he is up to something/ out of order