To be upset that my sister has uninvited my husband and some of my children to her wedding?

[Reallybadidea]

Sister is getting married next month. It was going to be a fairly big wedding but coronavirus rules mean that she can now only have a maximum of 15 people in total, including bride and groom. My eldest daughter and I are bridesmaids and still invited, but she has decided that she would prefer for a group of friends to be among the guests in preference to my husband and other 2 children (her nephews).

I get that she's in a difficult position, but I'm really hurt that she's picked friends over family. I'm not going have an argument over it, it's not worth it, but I'm interested to know how other people would feel in this situation.

Sorry OP but she has 11 invites to hand out to her wedding, I’m not sure why you feel entitled to 5 of them. Family or not Covid has made it 100% acceptable to cherry pick guests.

I’m pretty sure her close friends will take much more from seeing her get married than her two nephews or her BIL. My DH and DS would happily sit this out in favour of Her close friends coming and be glad to do that!

I'm sure it's no fun for your sister to have to make the call, and I can see why she might want friends over relatives partners. I get you being hurt about it, but it's good you can see it's not worth making an issue about.

Weddings are wasted on children. They don’t really get it, can be bored and need attention etc. I can see why she’d prefer to give two precious places to friends who’ve presumably supported her in her life, she shares a history with. It’s nothing against your children.

They're plenty old enough to understand that they haven't made the final cut!
But are they bothered at the prospect? You haven't mentioned your DH's thoughts.
Perhaps they're all more understanding.

I not y!!!

I think she's in a terrible situation and whoever she disinvites could be offended. I think she's probably absolutely gutted to have to make such horrible choices and this wedding is probably a million miles away from what she wanted and planned. If you care about your sister at all, I would suck your hurt and try and be supportive.

In that 15, I think you have to count the registra, photographer, videographer so there are not a lot allowed at all.

I would pick my friends over my Brother in law and probably some of my little relatives. It such a hard time for those getting married, I would just give them a break and enjoy the day with them.

You're being wildly unreasonable
Carry on like this and you may find you're uninvited too

I don't understand why you're upset about your kids not being invited.
Most of the day will be boring for them. You could do a separate celebration with your H, kids and your sister and bil another day.

Of course she wants close friends their over a child. These are people she will be sharing the build up with, share memories with after. She has probably been to or will go to their weddings.

Sharing the day and the build up with your children will not be the same.

I think you're having over the top protective mum feelings about it.

You're being utterly ridiculous.

There *

It's not about you it's not your wedding

I can’t believe the entitlement of this post. I’m inclined to think it’s a troll post! 🤨

Every parent on the planet should remember, your kids are not as important to everyone else as they are to you.

How old are the boys?

Sorry OP, but to put it simply...it's not your day, it's theirs.
Show a bit of respect to their wishes, I'm sure that the list has been drastically cut and changed to adhere to guidelines, and not to intentionally spite you.
I have friends that I would choose over family members too.

OMG, Don’t whine!

If your DH and all kids went that would be a third of her whole allowance. Even with you and three kids it’s over a quarter.

It isn’t her fault, she has had this foisted on her. Do you not think she is gutted not to have everyone?

It IS sad. But for you to take it personally and feel that your sister has ‘hurt’ you is really unfair.

The children who aren't invited are 17 and 19.

I don't think I've been unsupportive - I haven't even spoken to her about it! The news came via my parents. I certainly won't be falling out with her about it.

Come on, she's in a shit situation, she has every right to want some friends there.

@saraclara I wasn't suggesting the groom not be allowed any guests! Just that it's unreasonable that op's immediate household get the lions share of the available invites.
Op considering your update, bride, groom, his 2 guests and you 5 would only leave them 6 other guests, assuming 2 of these are her /your parents surely you can see the only cuts she can reasonably make are your husband and children.

In normal times if she'd uninvited them in preference of some people who didn't make her initial 80/120/whatever long guest list, then fair enough.

But really, she is making difficult decisions in a difficult time, and probably just trying to salvage what she can from her original plans. So I think YABU.

Ask DH to take the other kids out somewhere fun for the day. I'll bet they end up having more fun than flower girl DD!!

She might fall out with you though if she finds out that you think you and your family should take up a third of her guest list.

I can guarantee you that your husband and sons don’t give a fig, as long as your bring back some cake. You’re asking her to waste limited invites on people she isn’t close to, who won’t be bothered.

If anything, were she to drop close friends for them, it would be fairly weird. And if she were to do it out of a sense of duty, I think that would be horrible.

I'm going to repeat my advice upthread, but in capital letters.

MAYBE COMPARE YOUR DISAPPOINTMENT TO HERS AND GET SOME PERSPECTIVE

At 17 and 19 they are young adults and surely are completely sympathetic to their aunt’s situation.

Then not only are they old enough to know they are not in the list but they are old enough to understand why.