To be upset that my sister has uninvited my husband and some of my children to her wedding?

[Reallybadidea]

Sister is getting married next month. It was going to be a fairly big wedding but coronavirus rules mean that she can now only have a maximum of 15 people in total, including bride and groom. My eldest daughter and I are bridesmaids and still invited, but she has decided that she would prefer for a group of friends to be among the guests in preference to my husband and other 2 children (her nephews).

I get that she's in a difficult position, but I'm really hurt that she's picked friends over family. I'm not going have an argument over it, it's not worth it, but I'm interested to know how other people would feel in this situation.

[IdkickJilliansass]

@HeronLanyon

I too wouldn’t be offended if my own sister didn’t invite me to her wedding right now. I see her a lot and she’s explain and I’d understand. Of course she’d want her life long friends (a few of them!) there. That just means compromises. Why wouldn’t anyone understand this or question those of us who say it ??

Because they don’t believe you? 😂😂

[Newkitchen123]

Under the current circumstances, if you get upset over difficult choices people make about THEIR wedding day then you need to get a grip.
It's not about you

[BackforGood]

@Scarby9


Totally resonate with @Saraclara at 23:32:42 too. We had a close family wedding last year, and it was the same - she was very relaxed about all the detail (flowers, "dressing the room", music, food choices, favours, decorations, cars, dresses even) but, having all the people she wanted there was really, really important - as indeed it was for me a few decades earlier.

It is SUCH a shame for anyone getting married. I'd do whatever I could to support someone who had had their day completely devastated like this. I certainly wouldn't make it about me.

[Krampusasbabysitter]

Personally, I would only have my DM and friends with such a tough choice.

[Havaiana]

OP, I realise you feel differently now which is good.

They're actually only allowed 12 people, as the other 3 will be bride , groom and registrar.

So if your sis had you and your husband and DC, your family would be 33% of the wedding guests! Which is insane!

[HeronLanyon]

I too wouldn’t be offended if my own sister didn’t invite me to her wedding right now. I see her a lot and she’s explain and I’d understand. Of course she’d want her life long friends (a few of them!) there. That just means compromises. Why wouldn’t anyone understand this or question those of us who say it ??

[IdkickJilliansass]

@neverenoughchelseaboots

I wouldn't be offended if my sister didn't even pick me. It's a tiny number and she has to make really tough decisions.

Kids don't give a monkeys about an aunties wedding and what a special day it is, best friends do.

She's already in a really hard position without added pressure of feeling she's offended people.

Yeah right 😂

[Coffeeoverload]

Why on earth would she want a couple of teenagers at her wedding?! OMG... you are being completely unreasonable!!!

[neverenoughchelseaboots]

I wouldn't be offended if my sister didn't even pick me. It's a tiny number and she has to make really tough decisions.

Kids don't give a monkeys about an aunties wedding and what a special day it is, best friends do.

She's already in a really hard position without added pressure of feeling she's offended people.

[AliciaJohns89]

@copperoliver

Maybe tell her you will go to the church have photos ect and go home you won't be coming to the after party as you don't want to celebrate without your other children. X

Come on, this is just petty! Is there anyone in the world who never celebrates anything without their teen sons present? Where does this attitude of "me and my precious children above all else" come from?

[ceeveebee]

When the limit was 30, it had to include the celebrant
When it was dropped to 15, it does not include the celebrant.
It’s written in the guidance which has been linked to many times on this thread

[CorianderLord]

It's really hard. My mums getting married and wants to invite her friends instead of her brothers - she only gets 15 people and all her siblings and their partners makes 10 people and they have 4 kids between them.

He wedding, limited numbers, her choice.

I would pick my close friends over a brother in law and small children too.

[elenacampana]

I don’t think your children get priority over her friends at the moment.

Personally, I would have never not had my niece at my wedding in normal times, it was very important to me that she was there. However, she wouldn’t remember it and given the circumstances now, I’d maybe ask my sister to leave her at home so I could have more adult guests who would remember and appreciate the day more than a child.

It’s such a shame for your whole family that it’s gone this way. I hope you guys get to enjoy it regardless and make some lovely memories with those who can make it.

[WatershipDown7]

I heard it said in the radio that the 15 have to include photographers and celebrant.

[S00LA]

Actually the rules are quite complicated and have changed.

In Scotland it’s 20 people which doesn’t include the celebrant and any interpreter but DOES include Children U12, any carers and third party suppliers eg photographers or musicians employed by the couple.

It doesn’t include venue staff.

However the previous set of rules for 15 people DID include the celebrant.

[gurglebelly]

@Coffeecak3

I thought the 15 had to include the registrar and photographer.

This has been covered many times in the thread. No it doesn't

[fatherfintanstack]

Oops, that was in response to copperoliver


Maybe tell her you will go to the church have photos ect and go home you won't be coming to the after party as you don't want to celebrate without your other children. X

[fatherfintanstack]

Why would she do this?

[Imworthit]

She can invite 6 people and you and your daughter make 2. I think your being extremely selfish and ungrateful.

[Coffeecak3]

I thought the 15 had to include the registrar and photographer.

[StillCoughingandLaughing]

Oh come off it, its a dick move to not invite your sisters husband and nephews.

‘A dick move’? Grow up.

[DuckbilledSplatterPuff]

I doubt it was her dream to have her wedding shrunk to 13 guests between them. It must be so hard for her.

[SD1978]

I doubt a 17 & 19 year old male will be gutted/ particularly upset to not attend a wedding. One of whom is independent enough to live out of home, unless there are SEN issues? I had initially assumed younger children, not three basically adults you were asking about. I'm sure the theee I'd then will be more than capable of entertaining themselves for the day, I really feel this is your issues, projected on to them. And I don't feel your sister has done anything wrong by strimming them.

[saraclara]

@Inkpaperstars

The sister is in an awkward situation but it is hardly tragic as some people seem to think. It's a wedding, which is a non essential luxury. She can either delay or have a smaller do, not much of a drama.

People are experiencing all kinds of stress, disappointment and yes, tragedy this year. But just because some have it worse doesn't mean we can't feel for people whose plans have crumbled in the dust.

As I said before, my daughter's wedding was this time last year. She was no bridezilla, nor was it a BIG wedding. But it had been a source of excitement and planning for us all for a long time. She's a happy 'people' person, and having all her friends and family around her on that day was really important to her. I'm trying to imagine her having had to cut her hundred guests down to 30...and then to 15. It would have been awful for her.

[LuckyToTheStar]

@Ceilingfan

Oh come off it, its a dick move to not invite your sisters husband and nephews.

In normal times... Not when you're limited to 13 people.