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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To be pissed off about the mum who brought her sick kid into school?

177 replies

Crumpetsforthequeen · 25/09/2020 01:42

OK so this is probably because it's 1am and I've had about an hours sleep (again!) but I'm super pissed off. Not sure if this is so much an aibu but more of a rant.

So the first day DD7 goes back to school everything goes well, it's a bit weird but I'm glad she has a good day, comes to pick up and one of the mums who couldn't give a toss about anyone else and never has rocks up sick as a dog.

Naturally everyone immediately moves away from her and she laughs and says oh it's just a cold, xyz has it too but i need the rest as I'm goin out on the piss this weekend!

Xyz is in DD's class, lo and behold out he comes full of cold. Then the rest of the class got sick, DD brought it home.

She got sick, DH got sick, DS1 got sick, I got sick. Here is we're I'm pissed off.

So because she couldn't be arsed to look after her sick child because she needed the rest so that she could go out drinking, what she doesn't realise is that mine then developed into a chest infection that I'm still fighting, DH had to take time off work because they wouldn't let him come back until he had the all clear so missed out on wages, DS is still sick and before this he was FINALLY sleeping through the night, now since he's been sick he's waking up at all hours of the night so we've had fuck all sleep which has made it harder to get over this cold.

I'm already on the vulnerable list, if I caught covid right now I'd be screwed, but ya know because she wanted a bit of sleep so she could get drunk, fuck the consequences! 🙄

Pissed off with the school for allowing him to come in when he was obviously sick and pissed off with her for thinking this shit is OK.

I know eventually it was gonna happen, especially with the kids being off for so long but to stand there and laugh and act like it's no big deal? I feel sorry for her kid who had to go in sick.

Sorry rant over, no idea if any of that made any sense just sick of mums thinking it's OK to send their kids in sick, have some common curtesy for others, especially during a pandemic.

So yeah aibu for feeling all of that or am I being a bit over sensitive because I'm exhausted? (and sick)

OP posts:

Boom45 · 25/09/2020 01:47

Weve been told to send the kids in if they've got a cold just as we normally would. So if it's just a cold then it's no different to any other year I suppose. If you've caught Covid and she knew he had symptoms or even if it's a D&V bug then she should have kept him at home.

MsInsomniac · 25/09/2020 02:30

I agree. We’ve all caught a horrible cold from school too, I’ve not long had surgery and I can’t shake it off. Dcs had to have a Covid test due to coughing and temp which made little one vomit. Some people are just selfish arseholes.

Italiangreyhound · 25/09/2020 03:09

I don't think people should send sick kids to school. Whether it is a cold or something worse, I don't think it is fair to share it around.

"So yeah aibu for feeling all of that or am I being a bit over sensitive because I'm exhausted? (and sick)"

YANBU.

CelestiaLudenberg · 25/09/2020 03:13

I can see both sides, my DD has been off school the last four days with a cough, she had a covid test on Tuesday and had a negative result yesterday so she most likely just has a cold.

I've had to keep the school updated every step of the way. I called them with her test result and they asked how she was now, she's still coughing and is bunged up but is otherwise well in herself so they're expecting her back today.

Will she pass her cold on? Most likely. She had to pick it up somewhere and she hasn't been anywhere other than school. Her life also can't come to a standstill over a cold when we know she doesn't have covid.

I blame whoever thought it was a good idea to send them back to school in September, knowing fine well from September onwards is when they're gonna be picking up colds and viruses more often. They had to go back sometime though I guess and I'm not sure when else would have been the right time.

No one wants to be ill right now but with kids in school a cold and the likes are unavoidable. As long as they have a negative test if one is needed and they're not too poorly, judging by my experience they're expected to be in school.

PineappleUpsideDownCake · 25/09/2020 03:31

Im not sure I I quite follow. I use "sick" in relation to a child to mean being sick. Puking etc or being v unwell.

I dont use "sick" to describe a cold. We've been explocitly told to send our children in with a cold. Are you saying it was a cold or a sick bug? I understand frustration ifnit made you all sick (as in sick bug) but not so much with a cold.

It would be great in some ways if we were told to keep children with colds home at this time, but we really arent. Many workplaces wouldnt be happy you not going intonwork because your child has a cold...

MrsTerryPratchett · 25/09/2020 03:34

Naturally everyone immediately moves away from her and she laughs and says oh it's just a cold, xyz has it too but i need the rest as I'm goin out on the piss this weekend!

TBF I'd probably say something like this in the face of the horrified villagers with pitchforks. Just for fun.

ReefTeeth · 25/09/2020 03:41

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

jessstan2 · 25/09/2020 03:45

@PineappleUpsideDownCake

Im not sure I I quite follow. I use "sick" in relation to a child to mean being sick. Puking etc or being v unwell.

'Sick' means ill; if someone 'pukes' they 'vomit' and, yes, they are 'sick' in the sense that they are ill.

Someone with a cold, cough, diarrhoea, migraine or appendicitis is sick.

What do you think is meant by someone who is 'chronically sick'? It doesn't mean they are vomiting all the time, it means they have a chronic condition, like rheumatoid arthritis or multiple sclerosis.

'Healing the sick' does not just mean finding a remedy for vomiting.

Honestly!

Suzi888 · 25/09/2020 03:53

YANBU especially given the current circumstances. But parents are being told to take children with colds in school, only keep them off if they have high temperature, persistent cough, loss of taste/smell. In the next breath we are told that children can be asymptomatic, people that have tested positive have said they weren’t coughing that much and felt tired etc it’s just so confusing.

redlockscelt · 25/09/2020 03:57

@MrsTerryPratchett

Naturally everyone immediately moves away from her and she laughs and says oh it's just a cold, xyz has it too but i need the rest as I'm goin out on the piss this weekend!

TBF I'd probably say something like this in the face of the horrified villagers with pitchforks. Just for fun.

Arseholes clearly attract arseholes.

ThumbWitchesAbroad · 25/09/2020 04:09

No YANBU to be pissed off.

I'm in Australia and our schools are MUCH stricter on this, despite us not having anything like the number of covid cases here as you do in the UK.

Her kid would not have been allowed in school here, she would have been called to collect him.

My son had a cold the other week - had to stay home, wasn't allowed back without a negative covid test, and not even then until his symptoms had gone - precisely because, even though it's only a cold (it was) he would pass it on to other kids, who would then pass it to their parents (I had it too) who would have to stay off school/work until THEY had a negative covid test/no symptoms and so it goes on.
He was due a haircut as well - they said he could come in if he had a neg covid test but I said "well, he might give you the cold though, should we not reschedule, or you'll have to be off work?" - hairdresser hadn't thought of that, and immediately agreed to reschedule.

We're lucky in that testing here is MUCH easier and quicker than it appears to be in many places in the UK - but still. The guidelines over there are nuts.

jessstan2 · 25/09/2020 04:15

Generally, children go to school with a cold unless they feel really ill, which can happen. That child will not have been the only one with a cold, they spread like wild fire and no sooner does one cold stop, they catch another. The parents catch them too and are usually more sick than their child ever was.

I imagine the woman just said what she said out of bravado; nobody has taught her that sometimes less is more and when in doubt, say nothing. Perhaps she is a 'mumsnetter' and will read this.

Pixxie7 · 25/09/2020 04:41

Parents like this don’t deserve children.

PineappleUpsideDownCake · 25/09/2020 05:17

Jess I think its been discussed on here regarding "sick" before where words mean different things in differenr areas so thats why I was clarifying! I dont consider a cold "sick". Sending a child in with a cold is normal and just a child with a cold, not sick! Unless they're really suffering with itn(pourinf snot/temperature/feel unwell etc) colds are a normal part of life and if kids with colds didn't go to school in winter most the school wouldn't be in...

But anyway schools seem to vary with whether you're allowed in with a cold at the moment. Ours wants them in but it certainly is odd times.

Telling mums youre "going out on the piss" is another thing though!

eurochick · 25/09/2020 05:30

Our school guidance is to send in if they just have a cold with none of the three symptoms that trigger a test. My daughter had a cold (caught at school) the first week back. Now she has some other bug that gave her a temperature so she is off until she gets a negative test.

Colds are a pain but it's my understanding that it is helpful for young immune systems to be challenged.

mocktail · 25/09/2020 05:47

If it was just a cold then it was reasonable to send the child to school. There's been no guidance to the contrary that I'm aware of, either before or after coronavirus.

Waxonwaxoff0 · 25/09/2020 05:54

If it was just a cold then yes YABU.

I understand your situation is difficult if you are vulnerable but stop being so judgemental of others. I sent my DS in with a cold last week. Because I'm a single parent and I cannot afford to take time off work every time we have colds, especially if we have to isolate every time we have a Covid symptom. Are you going to pay my bills so I can stay home? No. Not everyone is in a situation where staying home is possible.

GalaxyCookieCrumble · 25/09/2020 05:55

Wind your neck in @Crumpetsforthequeen

If the teachers were concerned the other child would of been sent home.

SnuggyBuggy · 25/09/2020 06:05

I thought it was just normal to go to work or school with a cold.

BumbleFlump · 25/09/2020 06:08

You would have caught the cold eventually anyway.

We’ve all had it, it’s just a low-down, dirty cold. I did keep the kids off school just just in case but that’s because they felt rotten not because I thought it was Covid.

My kids have been coughing, it’s not a continuous cough so they’ve not been tested. They have a cold. Coughs also come with colds.

I think they need to stop self-referral for tests. Please be realistic and stop wasting them.

VashtaNerada · 25/09/2020 06:09

What she said sounds awful but you can’t keep a child off school for a cold, particularly at the moment. I’m a teacher and I have quite a few isolating for fourteen days already because they have a cough and there are no tests available. If those with a cold stayed home as well I’d have no class left!

MerryMarigold · 25/09/2020 06:12

EVERYONE I know has had a cold, including me (first week back in work with 2-4 year olds), my kids this week and my friend's which turned into chest infection too.

You are not an exception! And neither is that woman or her kid.

I kept my kids off one day this week because they did not sleep much due to really blocked nose. One day though. They went in pretty snotty. I'm not having them off with a cold for a week when one of them has just started GCSE syllabus.

Plus all this talk of tests for a cold or a cough after a cold. This is why tests are not available for those who are genuinely sick. (I know that's also the Government's fault, but I didn't vote for them, so I'm just working with the rubbish we've been given).

DO NOT GET A COVID TEST FOR A COLD OR A MUCUS COUGH AFTER A COLD.

Keratinsmooth · 25/09/2020 06:14

Everyone I know who has dc back to school have picked up a cold, is included.

Redraptor · 25/09/2020 06:16

Yabu. Our school has told us to send children in if they have a cold. My dd had one day off where she was very snotty and felt rubbish and tired but then went back in still with cold

GetUpAgain · 25/09/2020 06:16

My family has all been affected by the back to school cold too. It is frustrating especially when it stops us being able to work/ pay bills but it would have happened regardless of that one mum OP. I don't think there is a school in the land that can prevent the spread of a cold when kids haven't mixed in months.

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