To be pissed off about the mum who brought her sick kid into school?

[Crumpetsforthequeen]

OK so this is probably because it's 1am and I've had about an hours sleep (again!) but I'm super pissed off. Not sure if this is so much an aibu but more of a rant.

So the first day DD7 goes back to school everything goes well, it's a bit weird but I'm glad she has a good day, comes to pick up and one of the mums who couldn't give a toss about anyone else and never has rocks up sick as a dog.

Naturally everyone immediately moves away from her and she laughs and says oh it's just a cold, xyz has it too but i need the rest as I'm goin out on the piss this weekend!

Xyz is in DD's class, lo and behold out he comes full of cold. Then the rest of the class got sick, DD brought it home.

She got sick, DH got sick, DS1 got sick, I got sick. Here is we're I'm pissed off.

So because she couldn't be arsed to look after her sick child because she needed the rest so that she could go out drinking, what she doesn't realise is that mine then developed into a chest infection that I'm still fighting, DH had to take time off work because they wouldn't let him come back until he had the all clear so missed out on wages, DS is still sick and before this he was FINALLY sleeping through the night, now since he's been sick he's waking up at all hours of the night so we've had fuck all sleep which has made it harder to get over this cold.

I'm already on the vulnerable list, if I caught covid right now I'd be screwed, but ya know because she wanted a bit of sleep so she could get drunk, fuck the consequences! 🙄

Pissed off with the school for allowing him to come in when he was obviously sick and pissed off with her for thinking this shit is OK.

I know eventually it was gonna happen, especially with the kids being off for so long but to stand there and laugh and act like it's no big deal? I feel sorry for her kid who had to go in sick.

Sorry rant over, no idea if any of that made any sense just sick of mums thinking it's OK to send their kids in sick, have some common curtesy for others, especially during a pandemic.

So yeah aibu for feeling all of that or am I being a bit over sensitive because I'm exhausted? (and sick)

@Boobissue Agreed, and the OP agrees as well; it was his employers who insisted on the test. She and her DH know that it was ridiculous. It isn't the OP's DH who are unreasonable, but company policy. So why berate the OP for this?

@Imloosingmyshit

I think that we need to remember that pre Covid we wouldn’t have sent a sick kid to school, so why are we doing it now? That mum deserves my foot up her arse. Selfish cow.

Pre covid a kid with a common cold (not diarrhea or vomiting) but well enough to attend school went to school.

@Nottherealslimshady

YANBU but there will always be selfish people fucking things up for others, theres no point wasting energy and brain space on them.

Seriously? The child had a cold but was well enough to attend school! No reason for them not to be in.

I think it depends on the cold symptoms. If the child is full of snot and constantly coughing and sneezing (and let's bear in mind that young children don't remember to blow their nose and cover their mouths), then, unless both parents have to work, the child should stay away. (That's how I've always seen it as a SAHM.)

We've only kept our DDs off for a cold when they're at their most infectious, though. After the first one or maybe two days, they're perfectly able to go to school. (Obviously this is when it's a common cold, not if they have a temperature.)

This mum doesn't work, so she should have kept her child at home. And if she didn't like being judged, why did she say that she wanted to have a rest so that she could go out drinking later? At the least, she was being unnecessarily provocative.

@CelestiaLudenberg

I can see both sides, my DD has been off school the last four days with a cough, she had a covid test on Tuesday and had a negative result yesterday so she most likely just has a cold.

I've had to keep the school updated every step of the way. I called them with her test result and they asked how she was now, she's still coughing and is bunged up but is otherwise well in herself so they're expecting her back today.

Will she pass her cold on? Most likely. She had to pick it up somewhere and she hasn't been anywhere other than school. Her life also can't come to a standstill over a cold when we know she doesn't have covid.

I blame whoever thought it was a good idea to send them back to school in September, knowing fine well from September onwards is when they're gonna be picking up colds and viruses more often. They had to go back sometime though I guess and I'm not sure when else would have been the right time.

No one wants to be ill right now but with kids in school a cold and the likes are unavoidable. As long as they have a negative test if one is needed and they're not too poorly, judging by my experience they're expected to be in school.

Whenever they all went back would have been the new September.

I expect I'll get it with both barrels for this post.

My DD has had a phlegm-y cough and blocked nose, (which she gets every year in Sept when back at school). The school have told parents to send kids in as normal as long as no covid symptoms, she has no temperature, no dry cough, and no loss of taste/smell so she's been going in. She hasn't felt ill with it at all, just bunged up. The school/teachers have been fine with this.

I hasten to add that I'm clinically vulnerable and no way would she have gone in if there was any sign of the virus, I would expect the same from others. We checked her twice a day every day. A cold is a cold, even if it is bad, and yes it'll knock me back more than a healthy person if I got it. I do understand the practical ramifications as my husband is self employed too.

We followed the guidelines to the letter. It sounds like she was the type not to, although if it was 'just' a cold, then I can see why the child was in school. If your school have the same rules then this'll probably be why.

< runs and hides >

We're still to send them in if they have a cold. They all get colds usually when they go back after the summer holidays.

I use Vicks first defence when he brings a cold home. Sees it off quite canny before it comes on properly.

@Mittens030869 because it would appear that OP is blaming the parent of a child with a cold? 🤔

If his employers are stupid deal with them, explain the rationale to them, not expect the whole school to not come in with a cold because he works for idiots?

That's why I'm "berating" the OP, she needs to take her anger out on the right people.

The child had a cold. My child would go into school with a cold. OP cannot prove a causal link between the child’s cold and the cold/virus her family caught. She is being unreasonable

@Boobissue

I agree with you about the mum sending the child into school. I wouldn't do that when my DDs are absolutely full of cold and infectious, because I'm a SAHM and am able to have them at home when they're infectious.

The other mum wasn't U as such, though, seeing as she doesn't work, I do think in that context she should have kept him at home. But her decision wasn't wrong. She was being provocative by talking about wanting to rest up so she could go out drinking, so it's hardly surprising that the OP and others were annoyed about it.

I was referring to the posts having a go about her DH having a test because that was unjustified. That is unfair, as she agrees that it was ridiculous.

@Mittens030869

I was referring to the posts having a go about her DH having a test because that was unjustified. That is unfair, as she agrees that it was ridiculous.

But she's having a go and blaming the wrong person so touché?

That's true, but she wasn't really talking about the test, that was a side issue. She's also badly asthmatic, so she's ended up with a bad chest, hence her annoyance about the child coming into school with a cold. Whereas that really is just one of those things and we're in the season of winter viruses, and I suffer from them a lot myself. So yes, she is unreasonable on that point.

I was simply saying that blaming them for the unnecessary test wasn't fair, as it was her DH's employers who insisted on that.

It could have been any DC in the classroom. I don't know who out of the 30 students has or hasn't the sniffles in my DC's class.
How do you know it was this child.
Your not the only parent pissed off? Have you discussed it with other parents? Sounds like bullying where do you find the time.
Wondering how this single mother who has never had a job is affording to go on the piss constantly

YABU. Kids shouldn’t stay off school just because they’ve got a cold. Colds are no more dangerous than they ever were.

Even in these times teaching a child to have days off for a cold is not a good principle for everyday life. But it's a hard call. I also feel sorry for kids who have colds but have to isolate as can't get a test to get them back to school. They have had too much time off missing friends and education- any extra days over the months they have already missed is so sad.

We've only kept our DDs off for a cold when they're at their most infectious

Good for you. Most of us don't have the gift of second sight and have to wait until symptoms appear, by which time they have already infected all the people who have been in their close orbit.

May I remind anyone who had forgotten that this is a parenting site and people are allowed to be SAHM?

Don't judge a parent for having a snotty child - which is not a recognised symptom of Covid 19.

It's a cold you keep on going to school unless it's that first day and you feel particularly shit. Yabu.

I know things are different this year but from what I gather I think you still know when you have a cold and when you're feeling COVID sick

@Al1Langdownthecleghole I wasn't intending to be judgemental, and I'm sorry if that's how it came across. I was responding to the fact that the mum the OP was talking about isn't working (assuming that that really is true and admittedly it may not be.

I was saying that, as I am a SAHM, I have been able to keep my DDs home when they've got a streaming cold and are obviously infectious (as in snot everywhere and coughing and sneezing). I know that a lot of parents can't do that and in those circumstances, if it's only a cold and there's no temperature, it's perfectly reasonable to send them into school.

The OP said that the mum isn't working, we have no way of knowing whether that's really true or not.

Mittens it was the OP I read as judgemental, not you
Worth reminding people that colds are infectious even before symptoms develop though, hence they go through schools so fast.

What baffles me is that we’ve been told for months that children tend to either be asymptomatic, or that they have mild symptoms. Our school allows a child to go to school unless they’re coughing excessively or have a fever. The contradiction in the two makes my head hurt.

A cold is a cold unless the child felt too ill too go to school they should go to school.

If someone said they were going out on the piss, I'd think they were into public sex while urinating on one another.

I have a cold (teacher) and my DS has a cold. We’ve both only been to school, so got it there. If it is just a cold there is no reason to not send your child in. I’d be sacked if I was off work every time I had a cold etc.
Obviously this is very different if there are covid symptoms.

Just to clarify I didn't have a go at anyone, it was just an aibu for feeling something, FEELING. I haven't even mentioned it to anyone other than DH.

and as I've said, I've let it go because what's done is done.

Also I never said anything about covid or thinking anyone had covid so let's leave that subject alone.