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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To be pissed off about the mum who brought her sick kid into school?

177 replies

Crumpetsforthequeen · 25/09/2020 01:42

OK so this is probably because it's 1am and I've had about an hours sleep (again!) but I'm super pissed off. Not sure if this is so much an aibu but more of a rant.

So the first day DD7 goes back to school everything goes well, it's a bit weird but I'm glad she has a good day, comes to pick up and one of the mums who couldn't give a toss about anyone else and never has rocks up sick as a dog.

Naturally everyone immediately moves away from her and she laughs and says oh it's just a cold, xyz has it too but i need the rest as I'm goin out on the piss this weekend!

Xyz is in DD's class, lo and behold out he comes full of cold. Then the rest of the class got sick, DD brought it home.

She got sick, DH got sick, DS1 got sick, I got sick. Here is we're I'm pissed off.

So because she couldn't be arsed to look after her sick child because she needed the rest so that she could go out drinking, what she doesn't realise is that mine then developed into a chest infection that I'm still fighting, DH had to take time off work because they wouldn't let him come back until he had the all clear so missed out on wages, DS is still sick and before this he was FINALLY sleeping through the night, now since he's been sick he's waking up at all hours of the night so we've had fuck all sleep which has made it harder to get over this cold.

I'm already on the vulnerable list, if I caught covid right now I'd be screwed, but ya know because she wanted a bit of sleep so she could get drunk, fuck the consequences! 🙄

Pissed off with the school for allowing him to come in when he was obviously sick and pissed off with her for thinking this shit is OK.

I know eventually it was gonna happen, especially with the kids being off for so long but to stand there and laugh and act like it's no big deal? I feel sorry for her kid who had to go in sick.

Sorry rant over, no idea if any of that made any sense just sick of mums thinking it's OK to send their kids in sick, have some common curtesy for others, especially during a pandemic.

So yeah aibu for feeling all of that or am I being a bit over sensitive because I'm exhausted? (and sick)

OP posts:

GetUpAgain · 25/09/2020 06:18

PS and meant to say, where is the dad/other parent in this? If school is the only break the mum gets it must have been relentless for her up until now.

whirlwindwallaby · 25/09/2020 06:21

We've been told that if you would have sent them pre-Covid, such as with a cold, then you send them, unless they have Covid symptoms.

Italiandreams · 25/09/2020 06:23

Do people really not go to school/ work when they have a cold? Some winters I would never be there. If the child didn’t have any of the three Covid symptoms I don’t see the issue?

Fatted · 25/09/2020 06:24

I hate to break it to you, but kids in school will get colds and lots of other horrible things. I sent my DC in with a cold. Ran it past the school and they said if there's no temperature to send them in. Just because the parent didn't announce it on the playground, she may well have done the same for all you know!

SchmooobyDoo · 25/09/2020 06:31

Sick is the word in some places. I use it to describe all kinds of illness. Would never say ill or poorly...

marmite79 · 25/09/2020 06:36

Tbf my children's school are encouraging children to come in with colds. But I think parents should use common sense. Very snotty - keep them home. A little sniffle - probably good to go.

If all children with colds were kept off they'd have no one in. 18 out of 30 children in DS's class had a cold at one point last week.

I do agree with you somewhat though. For most children it'll be a bit snotty for a few days. When DS gets a cold he ALWAYS gets a hacking cough which means covid test as the cough is continuous and bothersome. Sigh..

deflationexasperation · 25/09/2020 06:36

I use sick for vomit and ill or poorly for other illness.
Mil said her df was 'sick' sounded quite mild, he died the next week.

MrsWombat · 25/09/2020 06:49

If it's a cold and they don't have a cough or temperature they are allowed to come to school. She sounds a bit insensitive but didn't do anything wrong.

thedifferentlive · 25/09/2020 06:51

@Italiandreams

Do people really not go to school/ work when they have a cold? Some winters I would never be there. If the child didn’t have any of the three Covid symptoms I don’t see the issue?

You see. I was brought up in another country, where if you had a cold you didn't go to school. There was less sickness in school all together. The schools sent you with a homework and there weren't many children falling behind. There were the catch up clubs after school. Maybe the COVID is a wake up for the British schools that not the attendance but quality of schooling is more important. If the child has a cold, it is not feeling great and will not take anything from the lesson. Then all children in class have a cold and they all are not fully involved in the lesson. Therefore, the education suffers more than if that child was at home for a few days.

midnightstar66 · 25/09/2020 06:57

Sorry but YABU. Dc are going to have enough time off with covid exclusions. The symptoms you describe are permitted in school, if they weren't then the dc would have been sent home. It's expected they will catch colds when they suddenly start mixing again. Dd2 has had 2 and dd1 in primary 7 who has never had a day off school due to being unwell in her life was sent home in week 2.

Rumbletumbleinmytummy · 25/09/2020 07:00

I feel you. Also clinically vulnerable and I've got a cold since DD went back to school.
I think that parents should keep their kids off if they're unwell.
A girl in DDs class was thought to just have a cold, by her parents, but tested positive for covid, sending the whole class into a bit of a tailspin.

DDiva · 25/09/2020 07:00

It is frustrating but in think generally schools saybyi send kids in if it's just a cold.

My DD was I'll after being back just a week. Really congested with cold, was sick and a very high temperature. I put on the class chat we were getting her tested because of the temperature. Another mum said oo yes had that but the temperature was down the next day so we just sent her in !

SisyphusAndTheRockOfUntidiness · 25/09/2020 07:00

DD had a cold last week, we kept her off a couple of days as she vomited. But we checked the symptoms online, nothing indicated she had coronavirus. We had to take her to the doctor as she developed a UTI (she often does after a cold) & they confirmed the symptoms don't indicate coronavirus.

There's a lot going around at the moment. A bit like "fresher's flu".

MarjorytheTrashHeap · 25/09/2020 07:05

Kids have missed enough education without being off every time they have a cold. Both my own DC and almost my entire KS1 class went down with a cold within the first week of being back - inevitable once they were all mixing after so long apart. We only send children home with cough or fever (as per government guidelines) or if they have vomiting/diarrhea as we have always done, or they are clearly feeling too unwell to manage in school.

MordredsOrrery · 25/09/2020 07:12

I'd be pissed too in your situation, but I also feel that YABU.

DCs are YR and preschool. School have gone to great pains to repeat to parents that if they have a cold and you would've sent them to school pre-C19, then you send them to school now. Parents are stuck between a rock and a hard place.

DC2s cold turned into a bad cough, both kids then had to miss going in while we waited for DC2s test results. It's a mess, but I'm expecting this is just the first of many times this will happen over the coming year.

millymollymoomoo · 25/09/2020 07:12

YABU. Kids catch colds. Lots of them. My kids and all their friends have caught colds since being back at school. They go to school. You don’t keep kids off school for a cold, and from a health perspective it is actually good for kids to catch bugs as it builds their immune systems.

whirlwindwallaby · 25/09/2020 07:13

If the child has a cold, it is not feeling great and will not take anything from the lesson.
Not for the whole typical seven day duration of a cold though. My DS has a cold, he was too unwell for school, felt crap and unable to concentrate on a lesson, for two days of it. That fell on the weekend so he was in school on Monday.

Boobissue · 25/09/2020 07:14

Why did your DH test? Your daughter came home with a cold not CV symptoms. Your DH had a cold not CV symptoms.

Stop wasting tests.

sqirrelfriends · 25/09/2020 07:16

A lot of schools are saying you still have to take kids in with colds (unless they have Covid symptoms) and while I don't agree with it, that's the schools decision so you can't really blame the woman for collecting her child.

It's inevitable that kids are going to pick stuff up from each other, I've been ill already, so has DS and he doesn't even go to school yet.

Fcuk38 · 25/09/2020 07:17

It’s a cold- you just get on with it.

BogRollBOGOF · 25/09/2020 07:24

Colds are just an inevitable part of life. The good news is that they're like an immune system upgrade, a bit like an annoyingly timed system update when you need to get something done on the computer.

Even better news. Some colds are other varieties of coronavirus and may offer immune system benefits against that coronavirus.

AshenQueen · 25/09/2020 07:25

As with others we were told to send our kids in with a cold. If I didn’t do this, both my children, but especially my youngest, would have missed half the time they’ve been back at school already (Scotland).

What does worry me a little is that my Dr told me symptoms of Covid often present differently in children, so I am worried I would miss it because they won’t have the classic ones.

It’s a pain in the ass but not much anyone can do about it really.

ArtichokeAardvark · 25/09/2020 07:29

Sorry, it's miserable but if it's just a cold then YABU. Children get colds and spread it to their families. That was and is always going to happen, irrespective of Covid. I very much sympathise, I'm similarly down with some godawful toddler lurgy from DS's nursery that has also floored my poor 8 month old - I've banished DH to the spare room in the vain hope of him not catching it and I'm back to multiple wake ups in the night. Its grim, but if every child with a cold stayed home then the places would be empty all winter!

FunDragon · 25/09/2020 07:29

MrsTerryPratchett
Naturally everyone immediately moves away from her and she laughs and says oh it's just a cold, xyz has it too but i need the rest as I'm goin out on the piss this weekend!

TBF I'd probably say something like this in the face of the horrified villagers with pitchforks. Just for fun.
Well you sound like an arsehole too

I don’t think that poster sounds like an arsehole. People can’t get the pitchforks out for anyone who’s got a cold.

Plus it’s a convenient detail of the story isn’t it? Not only has ‘the mum’ (no mention of the dad) sent her kids to school with a cold (which I believe guidance says she should do), she did it purely because to get some rest as she’s going out on the piss this weekend - not because she needs to work and if she takes time off every time her child has a cold she’ll lose her job. Burn the witch.

PrivateD00r · 25/09/2020 07:31

So op, but yabu. Describing a woman with a cold as 'sick as a dog' is complete hyperbole. It is normal to carry on with a cold, surely you must know that?

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