To be pissed off about the mum who brought her sick kid into school?

[Crumpetsforthequeen]

OK so this is probably because it's 1am and I've had about an hours sleep (again!) but I'm super pissed off. Not sure if this is so much an aibu but more of a rant.

So the first day DD7 goes back to school everything goes well, it's a bit weird but I'm glad she has a good day, comes to pick up and one of the mums who couldn't give a toss about anyone else and never has rocks up sick as a dog.

Naturally everyone immediately moves away from her and she laughs and says oh it's just a cold, xyz has it too but i need the rest as I'm goin out on the piss this weekend!

Xyz is in DD's class, lo and behold out he comes full of cold. Then the rest of the class got sick, DD brought it home.

She got sick, DH got sick, DS1 got sick, I got sick. Here is we're I'm pissed off.

So because she couldn't be arsed to look after her sick child because she needed the rest so that she could go out drinking, what she doesn't realise is that mine then developed into a chest infection that I'm still fighting, DH had to take time off work because they wouldn't let him come back until he had the all clear so missed out on wages, DS is still sick and before this he was FINALLY sleeping through the night, now since he's been sick he's waking up at all hours of the night so we've had fuck all sleep which has made it harder to get over this cold.

I'm already on the vulnerable list, if I caught covid right now I'd be screwed, but ya know because she wanted a bit of sleep so she could get drunk, fuck the consequences! 🙄

Pissed off with the school for allowing him to come in when he was obviously sick and pissed off with her for thinking this shit is OK.

I know eventually it was gonna happen, especially with the kids being off for so long but to stand there and laugh and act like it's no big deal? I feel sorry for her kid who had to go in sick.

Sorry rant over, no idea if any of that made any sense just sick of mums thinking it's OK to send their kids in sick, have some common curtesy for others, especially during a pandemic.

So yeah aibu for feeling all of that or am I being a bit over sensitive because I'm exhausted? (and sick)

jessstan2

Actually it rather depends were you stay. Maybe in your part of the woods you class it as “sick” but where I live if you have a cold it’s called the cold or the flu. If your sick you are sick as in vomit.
Honestly!!

pineapple people on MN use the phase “got sick” meaning “ill “ because it’s an Americanism, and they think it’s cool. Like gotten. But you’re right, for the vast majority of the population, “sick” is synonymous with “vomit”.

Its a cold, not covid. How does your child having a cold pass covid allng?

Well the whole thing is difficult isn't it.
Ignore what she said her reason were, she might just have been trying to be funny.
But we are only 6 months from a society where less than 95 percent attendance came with dire warnings of impact on education. Dd will still go in with a cold.

It sounds rough, but if the child had a cold then it was fine for them to go in. Sorry.

YABU, he had a cold.

Kid had a cold. We’re expected to send them in.

Your kid didn’t pick up a cold and have the symptoms in an 8 hour school day btw.

YABVVU - you can be pissed off having the cold and that the cold has personally hit your family harder than others, but not with the mum.

Whenever ds has a common cold and is well enough for school he goes to school. This is completely normal, we even got messages from our National Clinical Director and the CMO this year to say this is still the norm, children should not miss out on education if they have a cold and are well enough to attend school, and this should not change due to COVID.

Those that do send their children to school with common colds are not arseholes or selfish, those complaining about it have seriously unrealistic and unreasonable expectations.

The trouble is, for years parents have been told to send their children to school unless they’re at death’s door, so to suddenly start keeping them off for a cold is a big change in mindset.

To me, sick denotes a sickness bug or actually being sick as in vomiting.
If the kid has sickness bug and diarrhoea, then you are definitely NBU.
It's it's a cold, YABU. Parents can't just keep kids off willy nilly with the sniffles.

Of course if it's symptomatic of Covid then of course YANBU

Colds vary, sometimes its a bit of a sniffle and you carry on othertimes you feel really unwell and you need to be at home in bed. If colds are such a non event I wonder why the shelves of pharmacies are full of things to relieve the symptoms of a cold. So reasonable adults will make a judgement call and sometimes kids with a cold stay at home and sometimes they don't.

Elsewhere on MN, someone else takes a day off work with a bad cold and gets slated for being lazy and letting employers and colleagues down.

Not sticking up for the mother here, just pointing out the double standards.

Yabu. Kids get colds and bugs all the time, it's good for them to build up their immune system in most cases. My ds (6) went all last week with a cold, as did most of his class. Its irrelevant why the mother sent her, best place for most kids is school especially after the year we have had.

If sick always means vomitting there must have been an awful lot of vomitting before sick notes turned into fit notes.

I think that we need to remember that pre Covid we wouldn’t have sent a sick kid to school, so why are we doing it now? That mum deserves my foot up her arse. Selfish cow.

I think it’s unreasonable to expect everyone with a cold to be kept off if they’ve had a negative covid test. Yes they will pass it on but that’s life, everyone gets colds in winter, you can’t avoid it unless everyone isolates permanently which is obviously not doable.

@Imloosingmyshit

I think that we need to remember that pre Covid we wouldn’t have sent a sick kid to school, so why are we doing it now? That mum deserves my foot up her arse. Selfish cow.

I don't know about schools in other areas but pre Covid you would have sent children to school with colds, provided the child felt okay enough to be there. It's been always advised in our school, if they have only a cold to send them in and so I will continue to send in my child if he has a cold If someone wants to call me selfish, I will point them to the school and the NHS official advice

I have been told very directly by my school that I shouldn't have kept my son at home with a cold. I thought I was doing the right thing. Won't do it again.

Do you expect your DCs teacher to be off until every trace of a cold is gone too?

I understand your frustrations, because we have been in a similar situation, however they will have signs of cold lingering for days/weeks after, children have missed enough school as it is.

The kid had a cold... people still go to work with a cold and they go to school. Get off your high horse! She’s entitled to a night out as well.

Don’t like it then home school your darlings.

Yanbu to be pissed off about being so ill yourself and her attitude (she’ll be one of those who sends their vomity child in to spread it round the school)

But once kids are back at school it’s inevitable there will be colds going around and if you get annoyed with parents sending their kids in with colds you are going to spend a lot of time annoyed with a lot of people.

Right I've caught up on all the comments, thank you all for your inputs however I think comments like wind your neck in was a but uncalled for.

I posted this at a time where I had just been woken up again after just an hours sleep, the previous night being the same so I'm exhausted.

The mum in question is a single parent who doesn't work, shes constantly out on the piss which is of course her choice her life however she frequently sends her kid in with all types of sickness bugs all the time.

I'm a severe asthmatic and when I get poorly it always goes straight to my chest and I often end up in A&E with breathing difficulties (currently trying to sort my meds out with gp)

My issue is the school does have a no sickness policy and this child was barely standing up, coughing and sneezing everywhere with snot running down his face. I'm not saying keep them off for the whole poorly period but just those 1 or 2 days where they are most at risk of spreading it everywhere.

I think Im just irritated that her reasons behind it were in my opinion selfish and because of her actions it has affected my whole family as well as everyone else's in the class (trust me im not the only one pissed off over it)

I did keep DD home until she was well enough to go back and DH had to do a test because of stupid company policy, something he is looking into as we both agree with others that it's completely unnecessary as it was a cold and not covid.

That being said ill accept that imb and get over it.

@Doingitaloneandproud
‘Out he comes full of the cold’. So he was clearly visibly very unwell one would assume from that. So he shouldn’t have been at school pre or post Covid. Although I will grant you some ‘sickness’ wouldn’t be enough to keep you from school. But the mum was wrong. Openly admitted to being a selfish moo . And is the subject of my vitriol in this particular situation.

Really. I thought it was okay to send DC in with a cold it is on my DC's school.
I wouldn't necessarily point the finger at this one DC. We've all had a cold since the DC return like we do every year.