To be pissed off about the mum who brought her sick kid into school?

[Crumpetsforthequeen]

OK so this is probably because it's 1am and I've had about an hours sleep (again!) but I'm super pissed off. Not sure if this is so much an aibu but more of a rant.

So the first day DD7 goes back to school everything goes well, it's a bit weird but I'm glad she has a good day, comes to pick up and one of the mums who couldn't give a toss about anyone else and never has rocks up sick as a dog.

Naturally everyone immediately moves away from her and she laughs and says oh it's just a cold, xyz has it too but i need the rest as I'm goin out on the piss this weekend!

Xyz is in DD's class, lo and behold out he comes full of cold. Then the rest of the class got sick, DD brought it home.

She got sick, DH got sick, DS1 got sick, I got sick. Here is we're I'm pissed off.

So because she couldn't be arsed to look after her sick child because she needed the rest so that she could go out drinking, what she doesn't realise is that mine then developed into a chest infection that I'm still fighting, DH had to take time off work because they wouldn't let him come back until he had the all clear so missed out on wages, DS is still sick and before this he was FINALLY sleeping through the night, now since he's been sick he's waking up at all hours of the night so we've had fuck all sleep which has made it harder to get over this cold.

I'm already on the vulnerable list, if I caught covid right now I'd be screwed, but ya know because she wanted a bit of sleep so she could get drunk, fuck the consequences! 🙄

Pissed off with the school for allowing him to come in when he was obviously sick and pissed off with her for thinking this shit is OK.

I know eventually it was gonna happen, especially with the kids being off for so long but to stand there and laugh and act like it's no big deal? I feel sorry for her kid who had to go in sick.

Sorry rant over, no idea if any of that made any sense just sick of mums thinking it's OK to send their kids in sick, have some common curtesy for others, especially during a pandemic.

So yeah aibu for feeling all of that or am I being a bit over sensitive because I'm exhausted? (and sick)

Some schools in the UK are telling parents to keep their children off school if ill (especially high temp, coughs, loss of sense of smell and taste). My place of work is advising people to WFH if they cane, but definitely not to go in if you have any signs of illness - they don't want colds or flu to spread this winter. And where my son works they are already suffering - one week they had three members of staff off trying to get COVID testing (retail).
So no YANBU - but there are always parents like this - when my DC were little I was in the shoe shop and a classmate vomited, that girl was back in school the next day as her mother had to work.

OP, when your DD caught the cold, did you keep her off school?

YABU, people can’t keep their kids home because one of them has a cold, cold symptoms are not the same as covid symptoms, advice is clear that you only have to stay at home if you have a high temp, a persistent cough or/and a loss of taste/smell?

My dd has been at school all week with a cold (snotty nose, sore throat) and most of her class has it, none have been sent home, 2 have decided to self isolate as they have high temperatures but it’s pretty clear it’s just a cold.

This is nothing new and the way it’s always been. School actively say a child with just a cold needs to come in.

She didint do anything wrong

..."You see. I was brought up in another country, where if you had a cold you didn't go to school. There was less sickness in school all together. The schools sent you with a homework and there weren't many children falling behind. There were the catch up clubs after school. Maybe the COVID is a wake up for the British schools that not the attendance but quality of schooling is more important. If the child has a cold, it is not feeling great and will not take anything from the lesson. Then all children in class have a cold and they all are not fully involved in the lesson. Therefore, the education suffers more than if that child was at home for a few days."

THIS IS VERY IMPRESSIVE - which country do you come from if you don't mind me asking (understand if you don't want to reveal that)?

It would never happen in most UK schools (unless private) because they would have to apply some simple logic to get a system in place.

In the UK schools are driven by attendance numbers and not if a poorly child goes to school, therefore isn't up to learning; consequently infects other children and potentially vulnerable others.

What my son's teachers were being paid for during lockdown in terms of sending schoolwork home is beyond me. The chaos was unbelievable and this is from a highly regarded school in Hereford that regards themselves as techy!

@Crumpetsforthequeen - people can be very ignorant and just too thick to even think through the implications it can have on others and/or just plain selfish.

We’ve had kids with colds, in the first week the whole class had it. I sent them in, it was a sniffle (runny nose) no temp and no cough. You can’t keep every child off for every tiny thing. We have been told normal cold is fine, so we are following that. Otherwise the entire school would be off with no pupils, constantly.

Is nobody concerned about a wee lad whose mother prioritised a piss-up over him. Perhaps school are aware that he is better off at school than at home.

It was a cold op. What does yr DH do that meant he couldn't go to work?

I think some of the problem around covid is that many many people develop a cough as a cold clears up.

Mine went in with colds if they could because I think they need to build up a bit if resilience @thedifferentlive and develop a robust approach to attendance that would see them through to adulthood. I am not saying they were sent to school when they felt unwell or if a cold had kept them awake in the night. However both parents in many families work and not everyone has a supportive family network to step in when dc are ill.

If you had asked this last year, you would have got a resounding YABU. Up until covid, children were expected to go to school with their heads hanging off.

I was brought up in another country, where if you had a cold you didn't go to school.

Part of the problem is also the number of working parents in the UK and the difficulty in being able to take time off for children with minor illnesses like colds. DH and I are both teachers. If we take time off because our DC have a cold, entire classes get stuck with a TA or cover superviser for the day. Gone are the days when schools could afford to pay for a supply teacher who would teach the students properly. After 1 day of leave each, we would also be having to take unpaid leave to look after our DC (although still expected to provide cover work!).

Wrong vote.

Was a women who I don’t like, unreasonable to follow current guidelines and send her child to school with a cold?

Woman was not unreasonable.

If my child was really unwell with a cold and coughing or sneezing all over the place, even in normal times, I would probably keep them off if symptoms were very bad....but it wouldnt be feasible to keep them off school at any sign of cold* as they would be off half the autumn/winter .
(Obviously signs of covid should mean keeping off school)
However there are always people who send in their kids during/too soon after d and v bugs, which I find really annoying as they spread so quickly.
They could be having trouble getting time off work but one mum once brought her sick child (preschool age) to an after school activity that my DS (and her older child) was at. There is a clubhouse area that parents congregate in and the toddler puked all over the place and over some toys. The mum said the toddler had been ill all day!. The lady that worked in the clubhouse had to clear it all up and take the toys home to wash, when the mum could have just kept the older child at home, or got someone else to collect him.

YABU.

1. Colds pass more easily than coronavirus so are inevitable.
2. It's good for our immune systems and that of our children's. Apparently one of the reasons coronavirus hasn't hit Africa as much as expected is because other illnesses circulate more freely due to living conditions, and immunity has been strengthened as a result.
3. They believe some colds (which are a coronavirus) can provide cross-immunity for Covid.

I say this as someone who has had hardly any sleep last night due to a horrible cold caught from DD at school. I feel like I've swallowed a razor blade! But no Covid symptoms.

The woman sounds like an idiot for what she said though about going out.

YABU. My two boys have just had a cold and they both went to school. Having a cold isn't being "sick". How are children ever expected to build up any resistance to illness if they stay off with just a cold. My youngest would never have been at nursery or school if they had to be off every time he had a cold. In my book a cold isn't being ill and my children have always gone to school with one and likewise I've always gone to work with one.

YANBU OP
While it is culturally acceptable to send a child to school with a cold, I personally don’t agree with this practice and think it should change. As you say, the virus then spreads and can make others (esp asthmatics) very sick. In the workplace, it actually lowers productivity to encourage people to come to work with a cold. The world would be much better off if people stayed home guilt free with a cold and didn’t share it.

My DS came home from school on Monday with a cough. Kept him off school Tuesday, when we all came down with it. We all had Covid tests Wednesday, all came back negative Thursday morning so everyone back on school Thursday, still coughing, but well, per guidance. Other parents probably thought I was sending a sick child in too. Am I horrible for sending in a coughing child? Kids get coughs this time of year, we all have to deal with it.

science.sciencemag.org/content/369/6504/624.full

Article about Africa

YABU, I would send my son in when he has a cold, I'm sorry but I don't get sick pay so if its only a cold and school will allow him in, he's going

They are supposed to go into school with a cold, she was right, you are wrong.

It’s very unlikely that in the space of one school day this child managed to infect yours and get symptoms to develop before home time. Your child probably picked it up somewhere else anyway.

I don't want to say the country as it would be outing. Anyway, I had lungs problems since childhood and even in hospital was a teacher schooling you so you would not fail behind when you were back in school. I agree that the times were different and since I was 7/8 years old, I went to and back from school by myself and if I was unwell, my parents left me at home with little supervision. My mum worked just 5 minutes away from home and came back during her breaks to check on me. However, it was enough that the parents stated that the child was unwell and there were no repercussions. The school supported the parents with additional homework and books at home. The school was a state school. I did not feel that I was behind and having two masters degree is an evidence of that.

@PineappleUpsideDownCake

Im not sure I I quite follow. I use "sick" in relation to a child to mean being sick. Puking etc or being v unwell.

I dont use "sick" to describe a cold. We've been explocitly told to send our children in with a cold. Are you saying it was a cold or a sick bug? I understand frustration ifnit made you all sick (as in sick bug) but not so much with a cold.

It would be great in some ways if we were told to keep children with colds home at this time, but we really arent. Many workplaces wouldnt be happy you not going intonwork because your child has a cold...

Same...I too understand 'Sick' to mean vomiting or seriously ill .. Maybe it is an American thing?

An American friend messaged ''I am sick today''...I was ''oh poor you..Are you feeling better, feeling sick is so grim''

Turned out it was a cold!

Schools are huge Petri dishes of infection.

Colds are bloody awful just because it's normal to go to work or school with them doesn't make it right. I was hoping people would be more considerate with corona and the impact it could have on others.

I'm asthmatic and every time I get a cold it's a battle to stop it going to my chest. Most of the time I will be on antibiotics and it's draining. I hated being on the train hearing people cough before corona! Especially the dirty buggars that didn't know how to cover their mouths

If you have a cold, you will either feel ill enough to stay at home, or you don't.

You can't expect everyone to stay off school or work with a sniffle. But if you don't feel great, (or have any of the key covid symptoms) then of course you should stay at home.

It’s very unlikely that in the space of one school day this child managed to infect yours and get symptoms to develop before home time. Your child probably picked it up somewhere else anyway

Exactly. I don't know how people can say where they got something from when they're out and about generally.

A year ago we wouldn’t have taken a blind bit of notice of a child with a cold Unless our own

If they were that ill they would have been sent home

Children get colds and bugs and pass them on to their families

Colds can be horrible but most carry on with a cold unless they feel really awful a cold isn’t COVID

My son had only been in nursery for about a week when he got a cold and gave it to both of us. We both had it, myself quite bad, and got chesty coughs with it. Took over a week to feel 100% again. Up until then we’d been enjoying not getting a single illness from working at home. Normally with the office aircon etc I’d have had at least 1 cold over the wfh period.