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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Off he went!

308 replies

Electrixdreamz88 · 24/09/2020 12:21

I fell down the stairs this morning and after the initial shock of just carrying on the pain was unbearable so got to a and e and have broke my foot. DP is off on his friends stag today his lift came an hour after it happened. He was half hour into his journey when I told him the news of the break. We have a 7 year old 2 year old and ten month old. He did the whole do u
You need me to come back? I just said no as I know if he did come back he will be annoyed all weekend missing out...but really he should have came back right?

OP posts:
CitizenFame · 24/09/2020 12:22

He asked and you said no. If you wanted him to come back you should have said yes.

Hope your foot is okay.

trunumber · 24/09/2020 12:26

He should have, but you should also feel comfortable asking him to come back.

vodkaredbullgirl · 24/09/2020 12:27

ouch poor you

As pp said you should have said yes. On the other hand he could have said I will come back.

OldEvilOwl · 24/09/2020 12:29

He should have come back without being asked, but you have let him off by saying you would manage

TW2013 · 24/09/2020 12:30

Could someone come and help or can you all go and stay somewhere?

Cadent · 24/09/2020 12:32

He should have come back BUT WHY ON EARTH DIDN’T YOU SAY WHEN HE ASKED? ARGHHHHH

Blanca87 · 24/09/2020 12:33

I'm sorry to hear your foot is broken but you just martyred yourself. It's shite but he asked and you said no, what did you expect?

DifficultPifcultLemonDifficult · 24/09/2020 12:34

You should have said yes when he asked 🤷‍♀️

You can't be annoyed because he followed your wishes.

Ludo19 · 24/09/2020 12:35

He should've came back without being asked.
When asked though, you should've said "yes, I really need you."

StillCoughingandLaughing · 24/09/2020 12:36

He asked; you said no. I find the whole ‘But he should want to come back!’ thing a bit wet, to be honest.

Coffeecak3 · 24/09/2020 12:38

It depends.
Have you got any other help?
If not then of course he should have come back.

StillCoughingandLaughing · 24/09/2020 12:38

Also, if he was getting a lift there, how easy would it have been for him to get back anyway? Did you expect the driver to turn around?

FourPlasticRings · 24/09/2020 12:38

@trunumber

He should have, but you should also feel comfortable asking him to come back.
This.
Suzi888 · 24/09/2020 12:39

It’s pretty obvious that YANBU but you should’ve said yes, come back...

twoticksvix · 24/09/2020 12:40

I broke my foot a few year ago when I lived alone. I could do bugger all and my mum had to move in for 6 weeks to help me! So yes you should have said he had to come back! You can't manage 3 kids on your own with a broken foot! I'd be on the phone to him saying you can't manage and to return home pronto! Hope you're okay op.

Original poster
Electrixdreamz88 · 24/09/2020 12:40

Oh I'm not annoyed at him there's no arguing was more just a little shocked he wouldn't just come home

OP posts:
Permanentlypuzzled · 24/09/2020 12:42

1st rule of mumsnet “no is a complete sentence.”
Shot yourself in the foot there.
Pun intended. 😁

Florencex · 24/09/2020 12:42

Hey should have just come back. But when he asked, all you needed to say was yes.

Sparklfairy · 24/09/2020 12:43

Depends on your relationship dynamic I suppose. If one or both of you is likely to play the martyr "oh fiiiiine I'll come back and miss the stag do" "no it's fiiiiine I'll cope on my own with the kids and a broken foot" then this was never going to end well.

So I guess you need to ask yourself whether you actually were being a martyr saying no or whether you really didn't want him back as he would sulk and be more of a pain and a hindrance than coping alone.

seayork2020 · 24/09/2020 12:44

You said no, so to this means no to me. I dont do mixed messages.

But I also think if the situation was reversed and you were having a weekend away people would say about him 'you deserve to get away he just needs to cope'

vanillandhoney · 24/09/2020 12:45

He asked and you said no! Why on earth didn't you just task him to come home?

CaptainAthena · 24/09/2020 12:45

I thought households couldn't meet anymore? How can a bunch of guys be going on a stag do then? These rules are really confusing me!

Anyway sorry about your foot, you should absolutely have said you need him when he offered. You don't really get to say no and then be angry

QuestionableMouse · 24/09/2020 12:46

I borrowed a knee scooter when I broke my foot. Found it really helpful but it did take practice!

Brighterthansunflowers · 24/09/2020 12:46

You told him he didn’t need to come back! You can’t really be annoyed that he’s doing what you said!

I never understand women on here who say one thing when they mean another and then get cross when their partner didn’t read their mind! Use your words and say what you actually want him to do.

Lollypop701 · 24/09/2020 12:49

You are shocked he didn’t come home when you told him you were fine. He’s in a car with other people who would I assume have to bring him back. If there’s no back story, in his position, I’d probably go too. Then again I would have told my other half to come home and dealt with his sulk... which tbf if I was cancelled at last minute I’d be a little aggrieved... even though I’d accept it was just one of those things