Guess this years John Lewis advert

[Tellmetruth4]

A friend WhatsApped me the following which made me PMSL. I don’t think it will end up being too far from the truth:

‘Absolutely dreading the John Lewis Christmas advert this year. Probably a cover of Fix You by a children’s choir, singing to all their nan’s via Zoom while they stand on their doorsteps freezing their tits off to clap for the NHS in the 4th lockdown of the year’.

What do you think this years JL Christmas advert will be?

Hate to disappoint you all but I think they start planning this year's even before this year's has aired so way before covid was even known about.

I did like the one with the dragon. Maybe they should just show that one again and save themselves the cash.

I fucking love this thread.

before LAST year's had aired!

I definitely agree there will be a sad grandparent and an NHS worker and a cute child. My bet is

I think it will be a poor sad lonely nana on their own having a sad little Christmas dinner all by themselves, they pick up a cracker but have no one to pull it with, and then their neighbour, wearing a Christmas face mask, comes round with a (very expensive) laptop (which only John Lewis sell) and the kind neighbour turns it on for her and then sad nana sees her grandchildren waving at her and they all cry a little bit (and their mum works for the NHS and is possibly in a nurses uniform)

I actually cried a little bit typing that

Oh god! Stop making me cry

I’d quite like them to film themselves handing out hampers/ gifts to people who’ve volunteered in their communities through lockdown (they can add some fake snow if they must) with a slushy soundtrack over it with a little blurb about who it is and what they’ve done. They could invite people to nominate.

@Serin

Soundtrack "On the first day of Christmas" Sang breathlessly by a lone chorister.

2 little partridges snuggled up in the snow.
One wraps its wings around the other.

In the distance a jolly shooting party appear, their breath all misty in the frosty air.

Lo it is Boris and Hancock and Cummings and a few others (certainly more than 6).

They raise their rifles and the birds cower.

Then out of nowhere appears the NHS spitfires that drops a huge incendiary bomb on them.

The music changes to "all I want for Christmas" and the partridges dance with a gang of NHS staff.

Brilliant. We have a winner

@Secondsop I love this one. Probably because I have a teen boy so it made me tear up!!

I’m not sure the JLP will be able to afford to pay for an advert this year.

Well I've just got an email saying it's live but I can't get past the first 16 seconds!

It's an upbeat one, thank goodness. Obligatory laptop.

Skin by rag n' bone warbled breathily by Lily Alan
Cue lots of shots of people and gazing into the middle distance and thinking about various people
Cuddly toy corona viruses for sale in shop (they probably won't do this but it would be excellent)

Pickachew- I think that’s just their autumn ad rather than THE Christmas ad

I found this on t'internet. Not sure its legit though...

Sad, lonely old person who misses their family but only has a landline phone so can’t see anyone. They get a Christmas present from JL and lo behold, it’s a computer and broadband package. Somehow it is magically installed all by itself and now the woman can open her state of the art laptop and Zoom her family on Christmas Day. She will join her family at Christmas dinner whilst she herself tucks into her own dinner at home.

Whilst Aldi will have Kevin the carrot casually sipping on a beer whilst explaining “I like this beer” pointing to a box of corona beer, “and I like this beer” pointing to the Aldi equivalent (is it called Carista?) “but this one doesn’t have such a controversial name”. All the while Kevin’s kids are making Christmas decorations out of dried pasta and toilet roll that Kevin clearly hoarded in March and still hasn’t managed to use up.

Has to be Corona beer.

Ooof!
When is it usually due to air?

An adorably stage schooly young kid in gender neutral clothing builds a snowman on the hill. At night, the sad snowman sees a group of five snowmen having a party below, a snow tear falls from his eye. Seeing this from his window, the kid picks up his mum's very expensive John Lewis mask in William Morris fabric and puts it on the snowman's face. That night, the lonely snowman gets to join his friends in a socially distanced party to the theme of 6 Underground being sung in a breathy, cockney voice.

And the Waitrose one is just some snotty kid called Balonz making biscuits or summat.

@nevermorelenore

An adorably stage schooly young kid in gender neutral clothing builds a snowman on the hill. At night, the sad snowman sees a group of five snowmen having a party below, a snow tear falls from his eye. Seeing this from his window, the kid picks up his mum's very expensive John Lewis mask in William Morris fabric and puts it on the snowman's face. That night, the lonely snowman gets to join his friends in a socially distanced party to the theme of 6 Underground being sung in a breathy, cockney voice.

And the Waitrose one is just some snotty kid called Balonz making biscuits or summat.

Amazing. I think you may have it. I felt sad for poor lonely sad snowman myself then.

Perhaps the Sainsbury's ad could be Sainsbury's delivering a Christmas shop with half the items missing and then shrugging their shoulders about taking someone's money for stuff they didn't get and needed to buy elsewhere, and then taking ten days to refund the money so the family had no money in their bank account.

I think they'll go in a completely different direction this year and will centre it around 'elves'
I think it'll be a series of adverts where they go into places and give everyone working there a gift.
So they'll go to a paramedic station, a school, the John Lewis warehouse

And it'll be all 'this year it's not just Santa's elves who've been working to make this Christmas happens. John Lewis thanks you'

I like the sound of that Aldi one.

I think we will have it as low key as they can manage - they will want to be playing humble - A few shots of key workers (esp nurses, teachers and shops and delivery drivers ) and lots of rainbows- and then black screen and a Thank you keyworkers message. And it will be “we’ll meet again” the Vera Lynn version.

No idea on the ad - but love some of these. However my bet is that this years JL toy will come with a removeable face mask.

Hope the elves and Santa are wearing masks anyway

Rudolph the red nosed reindeer has a very pointy mask ......

@Usernamenotavailabletryanother - cardinal sin, haven’t rtft, but got to yours and just had to say thank you - proper ugly laugh at that! And a plus for their budget, that must surely be an economical ad to producer!