To think that 2 pieces of toast does not warrant using a farkin dinner plate??!

[theUrbanDryad]

dh always uses a dinner plate for his 2 pieces of morning toast. why can't he get it through his head that a small plate would do? it's more washing up for me!

also - why can't he put his dirty washing in the washing basket, rather than flinging it in the general direction? i don't even care that much if he does it with his clothes (means they don't get washed though) but he does it with ds' as well and it drives me up the farking wall!!

and - when i ask him about these things - why does he think it's ok to accuse me of "attacking" him and go into injured sulk mode for most of the evening??

ARRRRRRRRRRGH!

ah, that feels better.

but, AIBU?

the reason i brought it up was the SAHMS vociferous " i work all day - i have kids" stance.

nothing other than that

i was trying to illustrate that i think it speaks volumes that you think you dont wok when you look after kids all day

you do work

i the kids shit on the carpet - i get you wold clean it up

i dont get how you clean up after a grown man

and i think you need words

UrbanDryad - are you sure your dh is not a bigamist - because he sounds exactly like my dh!!!!
They both need a good slap!

UD, I can't explain why but I too prefer a small plate for toast, even two bits. A dinner plate is not right! But better than no plate (a la DH).

Can I add to the mix a DH who takes the plastic seals off milk bottles and leaves them milk side down on the counter! So they stick there and I have to peel them off!

And puts his sock in the laundry balled up together - arrrrggggghhh!

And yeah yeah we are not perfect either, I know, but moaning about the little annoying things DH does is fun! Plus, it's one less time I nag him if I whinge about it on here.

I wouldn't worry about it UD and I think some of the responses here were a bit harsh, we all have really irrational or petty annoyances!

Custenstein, I see your point that UD implied she didn't work because she is at home with her DC. But I am sure that she has to wash up during the day as part of her work and it would be a bit petty to leave her dirty DH's breakfast things for when he gets home.

I am all for each partner doing their fair share of the housework but wouldn't it be a bit of a weird marriage if each partner did their own washing up and laundry?

Disclaimer: I have recently gone from being a SAHM with 2 DCs to part time WOHM so I know it is way less tiring being in an office than at home with the DCs.

Custy - i have one kid, and he's still a baby, so although it's not easy by any means, it's not so bad. i get to go to the park a lot, i get to see my other friends who have kids a lot. i get to bum around on MN a lot! so i think it's only fair that the bulk of the housework falls to me as well, which i don't mind, but it does irritate me when dh seems to purposefully make my "job" harder!

anyway. at least i know he's not the only freak who likes to use a big plate!

I'm with you UD. My dh uses a dinner plate for everything, even if it's a few crackers. DRives me insane.

i'm not suggesting she leaves it - or indeed each does seperate chores for everything - just that maybe there has to be a conversation that includes - if you use a plate at breakfast - rinse it through theres a love. if i cook tea - you wash dishes. an equitable distribution as they see fit.

I'll swap my DH if you like. He never uses a plate of any size. I keep coming down to the kitchen side and floor covered in cracker crumbs.

see, Custy, he thinks the equitable distribution is that he goes out to work, i don't. i do the childcare and housework, he doesn't. he doesn't seem to get that looking after ds is a 24 hour job, and one that i can't phone in sick to. on the other hand, his time off (the weekend) is like my normal job, so i try to make sure he has baby-free time at the weekends (see, i'm nice really!) my point really is that i'd like him to think of making my life easier every now and then, and using a small plate for toast is part and parcel of that!!

So as you are working 24 hours a day and he isn't, why would you feel guilty about asking him to wash his plate? And childcare is a job, whatever blokes (it's mainly blokes) like to claim. If you weren't doing it you'd have to pay someone else a lot of money to do it.

How about a compromise, if he uses a small plate then you'll wash it, but if he uses a big one he'll have to do it himself as it pisses you off? Sounds fair to me.

The reason for ALL these things TUD is that he is a MAN

UD, this doesn't sound very equitable at all.

You need baby free time at the weekend too.

Perhaps if you were getting a bit of a break at other times the big plate issue wouldn't get to you so much?

otherside - i do get baby free time in the week as my mum has him for me so i can catch up on sleep (or housework!) but i'm trying to not use that too much as we're moving away next year and i won't have that luxury.

I was going to say what Custy said, only she said it first. I genuinely cannot understand why you are washing up your husband's plate. He eats off it: he washes it up. Surely.

perhaps you're right, i just don't feel comfortable with him doing the housework and going out to work, it doesn't feel fair. perhaps i'm just a doormat. and OCD. bah...

I don't think washing your own plate counts as 'doing the housework'.

UD, lucky you! I would make the most of it while you can! And use it for yourself and not just sleeping and housework.

MotherInferior, not my thread so probably none of my business but I think that is a really individualistic attitude to have in a family. Even when I lived in flat shares we would take it in turns to wash up everyone's stuff rather than just our own!

Although I agree UD's hubby should be participating more.

Ah, I don't do 'family' either. I live with my daughters and their father. Word 'family' makes me gag.

Interesting idea. I've not come across it before.