To refuse DS his 'greatest wish'

[Toomuchstuffwillkillme]

DS2 has always been a bit dog obsessed and has recently mounted a concerted campaign to persuade me we should get one.

He will love it to bits, walk it lots, play with it, it will be his best friend, his life will be enriched.

I'm just not convinced. I don't mind other people's dogs, but I'm just not a dog lover. (Surely that's a fairly basic requirement for dog ownership?) I really, really don't want to share my home with one. DH is sitting firmly on the fence on this one, so it's me who is being made to feel like the evil mean parent. DS promises he would feed, walk and love said dog, which is probably true. I have no doubt whatsoever who would end up doing the extra hoovering, floor washing, dog-food-buying, poop scooping etc.
We have several other non-furry lower maintenance pets who are loved, but would all be dead by now if I didn't look after them.
Apparently this would be different if we had a dog, I'd get loads of help looking after it, it would be hardly any work (Yeah right, while you're at school all day & I'm trying to work part time from home.)
And yes our existing pets are non-furry because I have pet hair allergies, though to be fair not usually to dogs.

I loathe going to houses which have dogs and getting covered in dog hair. Even if said houses have people who vacuum daily, they ALWAYS smell of dog. I suppose if it was our dog I'd get used to it.
Picking up dog poo is repellent.
Also, I am the polar opposite of Mrs Hinch. I dislike cleaning at the best of times, keeping the place vaguely straight and cleaning up after the kids is bad enough, the thought of adding a dog frankly terrifies me.
Oh and I like my garden. A lot. I don't want it dug up or pooed on or peed on.

As a family we enjoy travelling and visiting people, in the UK and abroad (2020 has not been a great year ). Closest family are over 3 hrs drive away. There is no-one here who would look after a dog for us. Most of the family would not appreciate us bringing a dog when we visit. We will end up either restricted to local dog-friendly holidays or spending a fortune on kennels.

Please help me out here, people who don't have a dog, or even people who do. What can I possibly say to DS to get him to see things from a different perspective. He's convinced that having a dog will make his life better and therefore mine too. I think it will be expensive, stressful, massively restrict my freedom and create a load of mum-work for minimal gain.

YABU - parenting is all about making sacrifices to keep your kids happy, if you can afford it you should suck it up and let DS have what he wants

YANBU - this is a huge lifestyle/financial commitment and if you're not 100% on board you'll end up regretting or resenting it - kids can't always have what they want

Totally with you for all the things you mentioned....l think you have to really LOVE dogs to put up with all than comes with them . I don’t . And a dog would ruin my life for that reason . Just say no . He can get one when he’s an adult ...bet he doesn’t 😆

Don't get one there arw hard work with kids we have two small dogs and now a teenager a toddler and another baby on they way in a few weeks i have to hoover twice a day i do everything with them buy their food clean up after them and let them out and look after them

YANBU
But if you did give in, you could get a dog like a Yorkshire Terrier. I have one, They dont shed. Their coat is like hair. Im not allergic, but some furries do make my eyes itchy. But you would end up doing a lot of the work, and if you don't want to, don't, you will feel resentful if you do. There is always the holiday thing too, where would the dog go?

YANBU OP!

I have 3 dogs. I love the bones of all of them and couldn’t imagine life without them. But my entire life revolves around them, in the same way as having kids! Where I live, what sort of house, my working hours, holidays, everything.

You are being v responsible saying no. There are far too many dogs who don’t have very nice lives because people didn’t think it through properly.

Also I hoover twice a day!

I've wanted a dog since I was in my teens , I left my parents home, not also a dog, straight in with DH who had cats. Even though we no longer have cats In still not allowed a dog even if I promise to walk it , clean up after it.

My DS was the same, he loves animals. I held out until til he was 12 and old enough to walk small, non shedding dog. He does feed it 2 meals a day and do the walking just as he promised but DH still has to bath it and I brush it. It goes to groomers once a month to six weeks so it has one bath in between. The dog seems to have won over dh, who is a push over, me less so. I don't mind it but she barks a lot at cleaner even though she sees her twice a week so should be used to her. Luckily we got a pet passport so she will come on holiday with us as we have holiday home on France. She goes with us to in-laws as they like dogs FiL immediately wants to walk her and fuss her. Your son would probably care for fog himself if old enough. My D's picks up poop when walking and occasional poop in garden too. If you relent, make that part of deal. We agreed to take dog to vets if I'll or needs injections and pay pet insurance. The rest is up to son.

Having a dog does have its benefits too. We have owned dogs for over 30 years, we have always loved walking our dogs. They become part of the family, they give so much love, when any of us felt stressed or fed up having them with you would console you. Quite a few breeds do not lose hairs.The only thing I will say, there are a lot of people out there at the momen, over charging for puppies, this happened since the dreaded covid. Then again I am a dog lover, at the moment dogless, since losing our last dog last year. Go through a reputable breeder if you do decide to.

You have a whole host of excellent reasons to not get a dog and if you don't mind I am going to copy and paste your reasons to roll out every time I get asked if we can have one

"No, I hate dogs!" never seems a good enough argument with my family despite it being utterly true.
x

I could have written your post except that our ds was ambivalent about one. I just kept thinking how nice it would be for him as he’s an only. I would also 100% have had to do all the work. We didn’t get one and I’m SO glad we didn’t!

Do the dog a favour and don't get a dog. The whole family needs to be on board and you're not. It's really as simple as that. I say that as a dog owner and a parent.

I've got 4 dogs, have had up to 11 when doing rescue work, and I'd say you should tell your DS that he can have a dog only when he has a home of his own because dogs are very sensitive to "atmosphere" and if you got one and didn't actively like it, it would be terribly unfair to the dog who deserves a home where it's not considered a burden. Maybe depending on his age and where you live, he could consider volunteering at a dog rescue organisation? A dog is LOT of expense and committment as you obviously realise from your post, not just inoculations and kennelling if you want to go away, but insurance too against large vet bills. Also, it puts paid to going even on day trips to non dog friendly places. Totally worth it if you love dogs: a huge no-no in your position. Your son will have to learn we can't just have whatever we want - I longed for a pony all my childhood and it wasn't til I was 37 that I got my first. It didn't ruin my life to wait!

Sorry for being so late to the thread and if its already been suggested but we joined borrow my doggy. Great alternative to owning one! We borrow a sprocker who is lovely and have her anything from a couple hours after school to a weekend to a week! Owner provides all the food and we can say no if busy

Agree you shouldn’t get a dog if you don’t love them but I do find it ironic that people seem to put more thought into whether to get a dog than having children (that’s not aimed at you OP just a general observation)

Sounds exactly like my family. DS was also desperate for a dog. He had researched them and it was all he talked about. I have always been a little scared of dogs and found them dirty. I hated going into other people's houses with dogs because of the smell. I was eventually persuaded. We were originally going to get a cocker spaniel but,in the end, got a whippet. I am now no longer afraid of most dogs. She is lovely am calm. She is also clean. I was very against dogs on sofas and beds. I am ashamed to say that she is now allowed on both 😄.

We got a dog when my son was 13. It was our first. I wish I’d done it sooner. I never used to be a dog person now I can’t imagine not being one. Dogs are like therapy. I’d didn’t know the great joy they bring to your lives and the way they bind a family together. They are one of the loveliest things for a child to grow up with and I love my lone walks with the dog. I always feel good after rambling about in the woods and the dog loves going to the Walker too for a change of scenery. Dogs become part of your family and it’s very very special.

My parents made me wait until I was 18, then went to Uni after that. Bought my first one 2 nd year of my first job and had one ever since. When are children were small it was a reason to walk every day. They bring such joy to a home.

Why not suggest joining "Borrow my Doggie". Your DS will then have the chance to walk a dog with a parent or sibling on a regular basis without the additional expense of your own dog. We have an adored Deerhound but he is extremely expensive to keep. Vet bills and insurance alone are

very expensive.

Have you given your area op? Happy to loan a ddog or 3/4!!

Don’t get a dog. I don’t think you are right for a dog. Some of your reasons are sensible. Others are nonsense. But no dog deserves an owner that resents it.

You can get non melting dogs. We have a westie / schnauzer cross who doesn't malt. A puppy is a bit like having a baby though. Lots of hard work.

Don't get a dog (for all the reasons you mention).

Tell him dogs are pack animals and it is unfair on the dog when it will be at home, lonely, on its own all day when the family are at school/work.

Yanbu - I have dogs and love them but me and dh were the adults at the table who made that decision. Interestingly DC wants another dog. We have firmly said no. DC has now where near enough input with current dogs to make that decision

Do not get a puppy. We just got ours and though my kids try to help. I am the main carer. I did not get her until I was ready and in a place to do it. Stand up for what your needs are. They are valid. This is particularly important when the other animals are not taken care of. Personally, I would get rid of them. see if someone will take them off your hands. Stop being a martyr or a victim or whatever it is and do what is right for you.

sorry that was a bit hard. But don't do it. you also deserve peace.