If pets were flat mates

[60sbird]

What do yours do thats a bit strange

I’ll start with, My Flat mate likes to sleep with my dirty underwear and also likes to watch me on the toilet

Mine insists on sleeping in my bed with me then bites me if I dare to move an inch in my sleep. 😯

My flatmate keeps climbing in my bedroom window and sleeping in my bed

My flat mate runs around the house like Usain Bolt on speed at 2am and washes his arse on the windowsill. He also scratches at the mirror for breakfast and bites the back of my leg if I haven't guessed what he wants at that precise moment.

My flat mate eats his own poo!

My flatmate is a kidnapper and murderer. He drinks straight from the tap and he likes to hide under the sofa.

My flat mate likes to sit on my shoulder and shouts outside my door every morning as he thinks once hes up everyone should be, but then he goes back to sleep.

My flat mate steals everybody's pants, although is especially fond of thongs. She licks my legs especially after I've been exercising.

My flatmate, also likes to watch me on the Loo. She's also very obviously flirting with my man, she's a complete floozy.

My flatmate is a serial killer who leaves his victims in the hallway for me to find 😢

Occasionally I've had to finish them off

My flat mate chases flies round the house and then eats them

We had a houseguest who liked sitting on my head. He also are our doorstop.

(He wasn't a baby... Nearly fully grown spaniel!)

My flat mate likes to come in at 3am and then throw up noisily on my bedroom floor.

My flat mate constantly steals food, shouts at poor delivery people just for doing their job and insists on pissing in the kitchen 🤣

My flat mate likes to sit on my computer key board and lick his arse with his tongue.

My house mates sneaks into the house, hides under the kitchen table and shits on the floor

But we forgive them because they provide us with eggs everyday

My flat mate shits in the garden and shouts when anyone walks past the house. He has really bad breath and sometimes I have to help him wipe his bum.

Eats their own poop and shouts at me every time I open the fridge.

My flatmate 1 demands food, throws up, wails for attention, watches me on the loo and is fore person for whatever I'm doing. He does NOTHING. My flatmate 2 brings home kills, eats and leaves unless she fancies a snuggle. I love them!

My flatmate yells at 7am to get me to make her breakfast waking everyone else up. She then uses the toilet without flushing and then sprawls across my bed licking herself

My flatmate likes to sleep on me.

@MiddleClassProblem I have one like that. He also likes to eat dog poo when out for a walk.

My flatmate is a complete pita. Nothing is ever good enough for her. Won’t eat the same meal 2 days in a row. Won’t eat it if it’s cold (it has to be room temperature).

She either completely ignores me or demands attention - but only on her terms and if I get it wrong she either smacks or bites me.

I’ve had enough and I’d ask her to leave, but I now she had a poor 1st year of life.

Surely she must realize she is a complete ‘mare?

My other flatmate had a similar start in life and he’s not aggressive.

My flatmate spends hours watching the washing machine when it is on. She said it's the soaps she watches.

She also demands to sit on my lap and lick my face when it's my turn to watch the soaps.

My housemate does protest poos on the hall carpet and doesn't believe in the three second rule.

My flat mate likes to join in with really important virtual work meetings and often sits on my keyboard.