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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

If pets were flat mates

122 replies

60sbird · 20/09/2020 11:00

What do yours do thats a bit strange

I’ll start with, My Flat mate likes to sleep with my dirty underwear and also likes to watch me on the toilet

OP posts:
ApolloandDaphne · 20/09/2020 11:34

My flatmate stares at me when I am eating, it is most disconcerting. She also likes to yell loudly if anyone comes up the drive then, like the shameless hussy she is, will demand that the intruders rub her belly. She is very weird.

listsandbudgets · 20/09/2020 11:35

My flat mate likes to jump on my face at 3am, pummel me and shout loudly. Sometimes he leaves a freshly murdered dead body on the floor and if hes feeling particularly helpful he guts it first and leaves the innarrds strewn across the floor. He sleeps most of the day in the most comfortable chairs and constantly shouts for food.. hes especially fond of fish and chicken.

Id have chucked him out years ago except that sometimes he curls up in my lap and lets me stroke him..

He also sheds hair across the entire house and spends a certain amount of time dailylicking his own bum.

Put like that... He should be in jail not my flat!

sqirrelfriends · 20/09/2020 11:35

My roommate likes to lick his balls while staring me in the eye.

SoosanCarter · 20/09/2020 11:36

My flatmate vomits on my bedroom carpet. Fortunately I have another flatmate, originally from Labrador, who immediately eats said vomit.

Original poster
60sbird · 20/09/2020 11:37

It goes to show how much we love our flat mates to put up with some of their weird behaviour

OP posts:
HunterHearstHelmsley · 20/09/2020 11:39

My flatmate rolls underneath me when I'm doing plank. The other flatmate likes to sit on my lap when I'm on the toilet.

Autumnchill · 20/09/2020 11:39

My flat mate has a 3pm dump every day, stinks the place out and doesn't clear up after himself.

Comes and sits on me in order to get me to move from my place on the sofa.

My other flat mate sleeps under my bed and bites my nose to wake me up.

Fannybawz · 20/09/2020 11:40

Mine follows me around and sleeps with absolutely anybody!

CousinDolores · 20/09/2020 11:41

One of my flat mates gets terrible road rage, the other ALWAYS throws up in my car. Neither of them ever apologise or offer to clean up.

I don't take them to parties any more.

Someonesayroadtrip · 20/09/2020 11:42

I have a LOT of pets so it could be interesting. Today only though.

Today my flat mate;

Drank from the toilet
Spat his food on the floor,
Sulked as I cleaned up
Pooed on my husbands arm
Laid an egg
Fought with other flatmate over the stem of the broccoli
Screened at me
Refused to eat his food as it wasn't alive
Fell asleep in his food
Tried to eat another flatmate

MrsVeryTired · 20/09/2020 11:45

Great thread OP Grin

islandislandisland · 20/09/2020 11:48

My flatmate sits really close to me at dinner and watches every fork full of food I put into my mouth.

seayork2020 · 20/09/2020 11:51

My mum works from home and her flatmate gives her a choice of sitting on her keyboard or her lap, she is getting nervous as her cat performance review coming up and she hopes she passes

Fanciedachange1 · 20/09/2020 11:54

My flatmate likes to lick my bellybutton while I’m trying to do home workouts.

Allington · 20/09/2020 11:56

My flatmate steals food from my plate if I leave the room for a moment.

Likes to roll in cr*p when she's out, then is grumpy when I insist she has a bath.

Shouts at DD when DD speaks to her from an upstairs window when she (flatmate) is in the garden - it seems 3D thinking is beyond her.

Has moments when she runs as fast as she can, in and out of the back door, then spends hours snoozing on the sofa.

Greentulips1 · 20/09/2020 12:10

My flat mate drags his bum across the living room floor to when he has an itchy bum hole

MitziK · 20/09/2020 12:16

My flat mate keeps staring at me. I could be minding my own business, working or titting about on Mumsnet and I suddenly feel this white hot laser light burning into the side of my face.

I've asked her if she wants something, but she doesn't reply, she just sits there just looking at me for what feels like hours on end.

She's fucking looking at me right now.

And she's obsessed with nicking my spot on the sofa. She can be quite happily sitting in her own place for hours, even sleeping, but the instant I get up, even for a second to pick up my mug, she's there.

And she's still fucking looking at me.

Lemonylemony · 20/09/2020 12:19

This morning my flat mate knocked three of my chilli plants off the windowsill. And the pissed on the soil that was all over the carpet.

Two of the others had a physical fight last night which spilled onto my bed. Whilst I was in it. Asleep. One caught the other badly in the eye and so I had to drive him to A&E in the middle of the night.

Bargebill19 · 20/09/2020 12:20

My flat mates choose to sleep anywhere - in the floor, on the cooker, on the shelving, behind the washing machine, in a cupboard etc. Very weird.

MiddleClassProblem · 20/09/2020 12:22

@MrsVeryTired yes, my flat mate likes to roll in poo if we go for a walk together and he gets a bit aggy when I demand we clean it off him

Original poster
60sbird · 20/09/2020 12:39

Lemonylemony

I hope your flat mate is ok

OP posts:
Lemonylemony · 20/09/2020 12:40

Oh, and the flatmate that caused the eye injury also has a serious food allergy. Yesterday she stole another flat mates special snack (that he has to have because he’s poorly and underweight), it didn’t agree with her and she then threw it up. In her bed. And refused to clean it up. And today she’s really itchy and grumpy because of her allergy.

redlockscelt · 20/09/2020 12:43

My flat mates call loudly to each other whenever one is out of the room. They also groom me.

Lemonylemony · 20/09/2020 12:43

Aw thanks 60s bird! Yeah he’s ok this morning. Eye drops and painkillers and cuddles are fixing it!

devildeepbluesea · 20/09/2020 12:49

My flatmate is really really old now. He insists on pissing in the front garden, infill view of the neighbours. He also insists on sleeping in my bed with me, but I have to carry him there as he can't jump any more. He takes great delight in farting in my face all night. He also howls when I go out. He's the best flatmate ever, even if he is decrepit.