How would you feel if your Dh did this?

[Autumnsunshineday]

So imagine whilst out you go to a sandwich shop with your dc and Dh. Dh agrees to go in and buy the food while you wait outside with the dc.

You ask Dh to get you a cheese sandwich, second option would be a chicken sandwich or any other type of sandwich. The dc choose a sandwich each too. Dh wants a sausage roll.

Instead of sandwiches your Dh comes out with a sausage roll each for everyone. You don't like sausage rolls, you never have. So you tell your Dh you don't like sausage rolls. He then tells you that the shop had no sandwiches, and you're just being fussy. You question the fact that a sandwich shop would have no sandwiches, at all, but your Dh insists they had no sandwiches at all, the shops useless, they've run out of sandwiches, he even asked them to make one but they wouldn't.

So you say you'll nip in yourself and get something else, your Dh then tries to stop you, berating you for not just eating the sausage roll.

When you go into the shop, they are actually fully stocked with every variety sandwiches. Turns out your Dh just couldn't be bothered to pick up the different sandwiches.

If he is rubbish at remembering (no shame in that ) why doesn’t he note people’s requests down on his phone or piece of paper? It’s what I would do .
Why does he lie? It’s a very unendearing trait, does he know how much his lying bothers you? And what do the children make of it? They must notice ...

I would think his a liar

He got everyone what he wanted, that’s unbelievably selfish and calculated. He could just as easily have picked up 4 cheese sandwiches.

I’m the sort of person that when hungry doesn’t always act rationally and a DH who pulled this on me when I wanted a sandwich and didn’t like a sausage roll would be treading very dangerously

I'd question his sanity

I'd have taken his wallet, gone back in there myself and bought myself and the kids what we actually wanted.
What a weird and selfish thing to do.

Are you asking this because he’s still alive?

It’s really twatish but quite funny too in a twisted sort of way

Make yourself a nice list of whatever he hates and put it on rotation for dinner every day until he gets the message and apologises. If you let him get away with it this time you're making yourself into a door mat. He needs to taste his own medicine and realise he has to snap out of it.

@EmJay19 not when you’re living it. Doesn’t help OP I think.

All things aside regarding the fact that it's a sandwich.

The real concern I would have is that he told an out and out blatant lie to your face. So easily as well, and then actually tried to prevent you from entering the shop to check.

When the lie is discovered putting it down to being flustered as an excuse. Apologies and cake follow as appeasements.

OP I hope I am totally wrong here, but I would be now thinking about what other times you've had a niggling feeling that he has been lying.

Well I guess that the sausage rolls were a good deal cheaper or on special offer, like buy one, get one and he did find it too difficult to mention!

What an arsehole!

Personally I think your a bit to blame for this. You said I want this sandwich but if they don’t have that then get me this one but if they don’t have that then just get me whatever. Guaranteed I’d he got you a sandwich you would have loaned that by wasn’t the right one or it was one you didn’t like so he got you a sausage roll instead which personally I would have preferred. Top tip for you next time go into the shop and get it yourself.

He made a silly mistake and told a stupid (and a bit odd) lie and has apologised. He was being daft. Sounds like he went in, wasn't really thinking, couldn't be bothered and then tried to cover that up. At the risk of sounding sexist, I do think men have a tendency to open their mouths and say anything that they feel would make an easy life even if it's a lie. My dh's foible is to seriously underestimate how long he is going to be which is basically lying to somehow sound better (I guess). It irritates me and his family.

Or even better tip for you Linsey - stop making excuses for the poor harassed man who found such a simple task , too much effort .

God forbid the OP should expect a semblance of what she asked for eh ?

Is it possible he genuinely has a memory problem that up till now he's managed to keep hidden by various means - perhaps not even fully aware of it himself by making unconscious rationalisations?

Perhaps writing writing things down for him would help.

Firstly reading the replies to this have been a joy.. thank you all! Except you Lindsey.

OP the lying is a problem. It just shows a weakness of character that's hard to deal with. All you can do is never never let it slide. And keep a close eye on him. He lies because it's the easy, frictionless option so make it the hard option. The one that causes such grief it's not worth it. Fingers crossed he realises that he's not getting himself off the hook, he's getting himself on the hook...

LTB

@linsey2581

Personally I think your a bit to blame for this. You said I want this sandwich but if they don’t have that then get me this one but if they don’t have that then just get me whatever. Guaranteed I’d he got you a sandwich you would have loaned that by wasn’t the right one or it was one you didn’t like so he got you a sausage roll instead which personally I would have preferred. Top tip for you next time go into the shop and get it yourself.

You write the Top Tips off of Viz Comic, right?

Greggs Seconds, Westgate Road is your secret restaurant? Bags and bags of sausage rolls for 95p.

Top Tip: if you genuinely have a top tip, don't tell anyone else.

not quite understand why quite a few posters suggested OP to get sandwiches herself. So, solutions to a thoughtless behavior is to:

• have low expectations
• treat your husband like a helpless creature who can't even remember three types of sandwiches (surely he remembers his own) and can't even take an initiative to write things down. Maybe OP can write them for him?
• making excuses that men tend to easily confused with orders (most of them are quite skillful when it comes to ordering beers for themselves and their mates)
• men tend to lie make their life easier (I suppose there is some truth in this, still not a great trait though?)

OP, I'm having some help over on another thread organising a patio burial for my 'D'H

I'd be delighted to split the plot with you-I'm sure the two of them would be very happy together

Love it

I would think the sausage rolls were on offer and he's a cheap.bastard.

He'd have got away with it if you like sausage rolls. It only makes him look.worse that he didn't know you didn't though.

What a catch.

Was the shop crowded? Maybe he felt nervous hanging about choosing sandwiches and 4x SR was just quicker?