How would you feel if your Dh did this?

[Autumnsunshineday]

So imagine whilst out you go to a sandwich shop with your dc and Dh. Dh agrees to go in and buy the food while you wait outside with the dc.

You ask Dh to get you a cheese sandwich, second option would be a chicken sandwich or any other type of sandwich. The dc choose a sandwich each too. Dh wants a sausage roll.

Instead of sandwiches your Dh comes out with a sausage roll each for everyone. You don't like sausage rolls, you never have. So you tell your Dh you don't like sausage rolls. He then tells you that the shop had no sandwiches, and you're just being fussy. You question the fact that a sandwich shop would have no sandwiches, at all, but your Dh insists they had no sandwiches at all, the shops useless, they've run out of sandwiches, he even asked them to make one but they wouldn't.

So you say you'll nip in yourself and get something else, your Dh then tries to stop you, berating you for not just eating the sausage roll.

When you go into the shop, they are actually fully stocked with every variety sandwiches. Turns out your Dh just couldn't be bothered to pick up the different sandwiches.

I’d be cooking him sausage rolls for the rest of the week.

I'd think he was a prick and went for the easy option because he just couldn't be arsed. Your dh blustered and tried to stop you going in because he knew he'd be caught in a lie.

My dh struggles to remember lists, but he knows this and uses Google Keep on his phone to remind him of things, particularly in situations like this.

I think I'd be more concerned that after x years of marriage he either didn't know or didn't care that I didn't like sausage rolls though and wonder what other things about me were so utterly insignificant.

Sorry if this sounds melodramatic but this is the sort of stuff that covert narcissists frequently do. Maybe google it. If he does things that leave you feeling invisible and but that maybe you’re overreacting to make a fuss about it then you should listen to your gut and trust your instincts.

I wondered if he was being frugal and trying to spend less, like Greggs do this buy 3 sausage rolls and they give you 4. He could have palmed off the kids with his choice but he should have bought you a sandwich. Serve him up his least favourite dinner a few times this week and he might get the hint not to be so tight again

I'd ask when the aliens swopped my husband for the pointless lump in front of me. I'd also be far more hurt that he lied to me. Mine would probably have forgotten the sandwich orders and panic bought the sausage rolls, although I've trained him to call me now instead! Definitely ignore him totally until you get heartfelt apology.

I think I'd literally knock his sausage roll out of his hand and onto the floor!

I would ask him why did he do that instead of calling him all sorts of names. I won't call him selfish or wan..r etc as it's not constructive.

he later went out to get cake to apologise.

Wouldn't getting the simple cheese sandwich you asked for in the first place be the best apology?

Or did he just fancy some cake himself?

I would be really hurt at the lack of effort. My DH does this to me all the time, completely ignoring my own needs and not noticing my hurt feelings. I’ve stopped wearing my wedding ring which he also has not noticed....

Then came the "well you go in yourself next time, it's very stressful remembering 4 peoples sandwiches".

Great way to bail out on stuff. Does he say stuff like that to his boss when he's having a tough day?

Someone who lies repeatedly, anytime, anywhere, to just get themselves out of anything is not someone with any personal integrity.

They are not someone who I would trust or depend on.

Lying constantly, needlessly is a big deal to people who don't do it.

Also the fact it was so easily checked makes him out to be thick as shit too.

Lying AND dumb🙄

God help you OP

Everyone wanted sandwiches.

It would have been just as easy for him to order everyone sandwiches - even if they had the same filling, it would have been nearer to the original order at least!

He was the only one who wanted a sausage roll and yet everyone ends up with sausage rolls...interesting!

I would think he's odd, a liar and a bit controlling

Selfish and passive aggressive. Why wouldn’t you want to get your family what they lake 🤔 it’s not bloody hard is it ?

He's a cunt.

Once on a very long road trip, me driving, my ex produced sarnies for all the kids and for himself. Nothing for me. He was such a twat, he couldn’t believe I was annoyed. And then grudgingly offered me the remnants of his lunch. Perhaps he was thinking I should be proud he’d bothered to remember his children.

And he owned a cafe, btw, so didn’t even have to pay for them.

@Lovely13

And he owned a cafe, btw, so didn’t even have to pay for them.

Wow - didn't know it was possible to say "Fuck You" with sandwiches, but I guess it is. Just unbelievable!

So he ate sausage rolls and then bought cakes?

This isn't great eating behaviour. Is he overweight? Do you think he bought the pastries with the intention that they would be unwanted so he could eat them himself? Does he use food to console himself? We eat like horses because we are outdoors and doing sports all the time but it would be a strange day that we ate pastries and bought cakes in a single day.

I smoke so I look down on noones peculiar habits but this sounds greed/ compulsive/ hiding something to me.

Sorry OP, this would have driven me bananas. I'd be having a chat with him, find out what the real issue is.

Total cunt.

An uncaring liar. At least he's told you what he is.

I’d of got myself and the kids a sarnie and chucked his sausage rolls for been such an arse!

Where the sausage rolls cheaper? Is that a contributing factor?
If so, tight and lazy!

I would be furious. Not joking. Please tell me you made him buy a round of sandwiches.

Think he's an idiot and would ask what he wants for tea one day , then serve him something he doesn't like but im just petty