This NY Times article from December 2016 perfectly encapsulates what some of us are saying. www.nytimes.com/2016/12/12/science/science-of-gift-giving.html. Here are a few excerpts from the article:
The Perfect Gift? It’s the One They Asked For
They have found that gifts go wrong because the givers are focused on the moment of exchange, whereas the recipients are thinking long-term: Will I actually get any use out of this?
Let your recipients do the work for you. They know what they want better than you do. If they’ve asked for something, buy it instead of surprising them.
Psychologists have found people are happier getting items listed in their gift registry than unsolicited gifts, and in some cases they’re happier still to receive cash. (But one of the researchers, Francis Flynn of Stanford University, cites an exception: Don’t try giving your spouse cash.)
If someone hasn’t asked for anything, a gift card is an easy way to please, but don’t be too specific in choosing a store or a product. You may think a film buff would love a gift certificate for a movie theater, but they’d probably prefer something less restrictive, like a card allowing them to buy movies online, too, or some other indulgence that would never occur to you.
Mary Steffel, a psychologist at Northeastern University, and colleagues have found that the more specific a gift card is, the less likely it is to be redeemed.