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Original poster

His ex used to "spoil" him

161 replies

Maaanajs · 16/09/2020 19:51

Hello,
I know this is weird as it's made me feel uncomfortable.
My income is quite low (not helped by the coronavirus). I can't buy boyfriend amazing things for his birthday, just nice little thoughtful gifts.
For example, I bought him a new coat and some of his favourite aftershave.

Boyfriend's job is quite average but he "joked" about how his ex spoiled him e.g. gucci and other designers for his birthday and christmas.

I don't know much about his ex tbh, I don't know what she works as but apparantly she could afford them.

Anyway, we've been together 2 years and he was with his ex 4 years for me.

I just feel a bit useless now. I could never afford to just buy something designer on the whim

OP posts:
ForeverRedSkinhead · 16/09/2020 21:55

He's not a keeper is he? You spent £90 on him and he has the cheek to moan. What a prick.

Please consider moving on op.

Cam77 · 16/09/2020 21:55

“Designer stuff sucks. I used to work in a clothing shop. I found out whilst I worked there that the same factory that made our clothes made by, expensive names brand stuff too. It was the same sort of clothing, they just put different labels on it. It is truly a big swizz.”

Yep. Similarly makes me laugh when people always talk about “made in China tat”. No, (generally speaking) those £10 jeans were made in China and those £30 quid jeans were made in China too and those £60 jeans were too. The £10 ones manufacturing cost = £3 and the £60 ones = £5.

Ellmau · 16/09/2020 21:56

Boyfriend's job is quite average but he "joked" about how his ex spoiled him e.g. gucci and other designers for his birthday and christmas.

More fool her, and he can always go back to her if he's that desperate.

WhereYouLeftIt · 16/09/2020 21:58

@CiderJolly

Say ‘fuck off back to your ex then’.

Job done.

That was my first thought on reading the OP.

He sounds like a bit of a dick. TBH though, I think everyone who wastes spends money on designer labels is a bit of a dick.

Okayokayok · 16/09/2020 21:59

Next time you're having sex tell him your ex used to last way longer.

cakewench · 16/09/2020 22:03

“It’s not exactly Gucci is it?” He’s a knob.

Also I guarantee he’d shit the bed if you made a similar comment negatively comparing something he did to something an ex of yours did.

TheDuchessofMalfy · 16/09/2020 22:06

I agree he sounds horrible and manipulative. Trying to make you feel like you have to buy designer stuff next time. The stuff you bought sounds really nice, and probably more than I would spend on a boyfriend.

I agree with those who say “fuck off back to your ex” as an appropriate reply.

monkeyonthetable · 16/09/2020 22:10

I accidentally shrunk one of his hugo boss tops in the wash the other month shock I have no idea how that happened as the other tops were fine
Oh I can explain how that happened. You accidentally did his washing for him. He can do his own washing. He is a grown up. Most of the time. When he's not confusing flashy branding with love.

Galaxycat · 16/09/2020 22:10

@CiderJolly

Say ‘fuck off back to your ex then’.

Job done.

THIS
MrJollyLivesNextDoor · 16/09/2020 22:14

Ooh Hugo Boss! How very 1990s Grin

He sounds like a rather unattractive chav tbh

SunbathingDragon · 16/09/2020 22:15

"it's not quite gucci though is it?"

No, but then your penis isn’t as big as my ex-boyfriend’s so I didn’t think you warranted it. 🤷🏻‍♀️

SchadenfreudePersonified · 16/09/2020 22:22

@Clarinsmum

Get rid of him, no man should make you feel useless. Ever.
This - in spades!

If he cared about you even half as much as you are about him, a pair of socks would be enough!

Please get rid of him - and don't ever be tempted to get into debt to buy him stuff.

How much does he spend on you?

Bubbaella · 16/09/2020 22:27

@SunbathingDragon

"it's not quite gucci though is it?"

No, but then your penis isn’t as big as my ex-boyfriend’s so I didn’t think you warranted it. 🤷🏻‍♀️

🤣😂
SchadenfreudePersonified · 16/09/2020 22:33

@WokesFromHome

OP, the best birthday present I have ever received from my DH was a pig plug. It was a floating pig, on a chain, with a bath plug. It had £3.99 on the packet. He knows I like baths and he knows I have a thing about cute pigs. Since then he has bought me loads of stuff and I can't tell you what it was. All I know is that he saw this pig and thought I'd love it. I bloody loved that plug and had lots of warm baths with it.

Find someone who makes you feel good and isn't going to waste all your money on designer crap.

That is just the sort of thing I like to get! Grin

I consider myself very lucky that although we aren't rich, we have everything we need - and I have a really hard time think of things I want for birthdays and Christmas etc.

The things I would like (eg caravan) are just beyond our remit but I can't see the point of getting something just to say I'd got a £XXX present - but something like that, which just makes you feel that he has thought about what will really make you smile, is absolutely perfect!

(My bath plug is a duck . . . Grin)

Zilla1 · 16/09/2020 22:35

Cam, agree about a few of the lower-end so-called designer and even some of the higher-end RTW though I've seen couture that has admirable quality. The seamstressing on some of the Chanel suits I saw was top notch and the Hermes luggage workshop does some fabulous work. I've seen some jewellery that was well made in mainland Europe though some unfortunately not.

Lollypop4 · 16/09/2020 22:36

What an arsehole..
But me and Dp are the type that are happy with ,a takeaway , a bottle of wine , chocolates and flowers, for birthdays!

I think Your gifts are lovely!

I would

Marie84 · 16/09/2020 22:36

My bf always buys me expensive birthday and Christmas presents but he can afford it! I don't earn half as much as him and whenever I ask what he wants he says "nothing, save your money" obviously I do get him something but it's normally small meaningful things which he seems to like! I think a coat and aftershave is perfectly acceptable and a lovely present! I'm sure it was just a throwaway comment and I really wouldn't worry about it x

Daphnise · 16/09/2020 22:39

You may have a problem child on your hands- if more happens you need to consider getting rid of him.

GarlicSoup · 16/09/2020 22:43

@CiderJolly

Say ‘fuck off back to your ex then’.

Job done.

^ This
musicposy · 16/09/2020 22:53

I accidentally shrunk one of his hugo boss tops in the wash the other month shock I have no idea how that happened as the other tops were fine

I hope he took that in good humour, given that you were good enough to wash his clothes?

Batshitbeautycosmeticsltd · 16/09/2020 23:02

Oh, god, the Hugo Boss thing. This ex who was subversive like yours used to bang on about his wardrobe and how he only had wooden hangers, like I was supposed to cheer or something. He'd do that about the ex's, too, but if I said anything about any of mine (who were better by far, I met him at a low point and it didn't last) he'd go off on one.

He also set great store by how 'romantic' he was - the nights away thing. He told me over and over how he'd surprised one girlfriend for her 18th by taking her to Paris. I was supposed to say 'How romantic!' Instead I just thought, 'If I want to go to Paris (again) I'll talk about it with whomever I want to go with to see if they're free to go.'

If I washed up and laid the cutlery to dry on a teatowel because he had this little metal round thing so the cutlery wouldn't dry as it was all bunched up together, which is fine if he's doing the washing up, if I'm not doing it, I don't give a fuck; he'd go and put them in there instead of just leaving it. Little shit like that.

He'd do that fishing for compliments by saying stuff like, 'What is someone as gorgeous as you doing with someone as ugly as me?'.

The my ex used to always buy me . . . was the final straw.

AllTheUsernamesAreAlreadyTaken · 16/09/2020 23:03

Tell him that your ex used to give you 12 inches every night 😉

Porridgeoat · 16/09/2020 23:20

But they are just things! Objects. Material possessions. Commercialism. Nothing meaningful

CorianderLord · 16/09/2020 23:21

Yeah I'd have told him to fuck off back to her then. Don't take his cunt comment lying down and let it fester. Call him out on why on earth you would do that...

newnameforthis123 · 16/09/2020 23:31

Honestly? If someone says something dickish that needs apostrophes to be described as a "joke" or (shudder) describes as banter, it's not funny it's generally just dickish.