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Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

to be angry about 6th form's "shoulder's must be covered" policy

631 replies

randomname7208633 · 15/09/2020 08:45

I'm a dad of 4 (just putting that out there so there's no confusion) and this morning my dd (17) told me that yesterday, which was pretty hot here (not that that should matter,) she was told by a female member of staff that she had to either wear a coat all day or go home because her top had straps which made her shoulders visible.

Nothing else was uncovered and she was in no way indecent, she was just informed that shoulders had to be covered because otherwise (I know you can see this coming) it was "distracting to boys".

Apparently quite a few other girls were given the same warning that day (probably because it was the first really warm day since they'd been back to school and had all dressed according to the weather) and then a school wide announcement was made.

I've checked the uniform policy and there's no mention of it so I've emailed the school asking for clarification.

If this is indeed a policy that's being enforced I think it's ridiculous that female students are being made to dress in ways to suit male students. If a boy is distracted by girl's shoulders then the problem is with the boy! The messages this sends out just make me smh. It's 2020 and girls are having to think about how their clothes might make boys (and by extension, men) react. Argh!!!

OP posts:
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Rocinante39 · 20/09/2020 21:15

"Most NHS trusts have dress codes which include no visible tattoos or unnaturally coloured hair. The people who have to conform to those are responsible enough to hold people’s lives in their hands. I really can’t decide if people posting this stuff are naive or disingenuous".

How you miss the point of the sixth form. It should be a time of freedom, of discovering who you are and what you think is important. Even a time for wondering whether its is foolish to forbid doctors, nurses and hospital porters from having visible tattoos. The sixth form should be a time for foolishly coloured hair.

Stop wanting to boss everyone, particularly the young, about.

Rocinante39 · 20/09/2020 21:16

Apologies - I should have said please stop wanting to boss everyone about.
Hoist by my own petard.

Incrediblytired · 20/09/2020 21:25

This totally depends what sort of school your child goes to. If it’s a strict uniform/private type call with a 6th form dress code (such as business) I think it’s fair to say those clothes aren’t acceptable.

But NOT because they distract the boys.

And they should have raised it today, made it clear in the policy and let them off today not make them wear coats.

To be honest though I went to a crappy college where there was zero dress code and we all wore nirvana hoodies in winter, nirvana to shirts in summer and probably nirvana vests if it was really hot 😂

VinylDetective · 20/09/2020 21:30

@Rocinante39

"Most NHS trusts have dress codes which include no visible tattoos or unnaturally coloured hair. The people who have to conform to those are responsible enough to hold people’s lives in their hands. I really can’t decide if people posting this stuff are naive or disingenuous".

How you miss the point of the sixth form. It should be a time of freedom, of discovering who you are and what you think is important. Even a time for wondering whether its is foolish to forbid doctors, nurses and hospital porters from having visible tattoos. The sixth form should be a time for foolishly coloured hair.

Stop wanting to boss everyone, particularly the young, about.

The point I was making kind of sailed over your head, didn’t it?
Rocinante39 · 20/09/2020 22:37

Your point was depressingly obvious.

VinylDetective · 20/09/2020 22:42

So obvious your response had no relevance to it.

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