AIBU to think my sister is being an idiot?

[Rainbowsandpotsofgold]

Ok so my darling sister (29) is pregnant with her 1st baby after trying for 2 years. Shes decided she wants an elective c section ...no medical reason...she does suffer with fibromyalgia but so do me and my mum (2 natural births each).

Shes made this decision based on
A) She's afraid of a long labour ( I was 15 having my eldest while living at home, was in slow labour for 5 days and 17hours active labour but my daughter was born stargazing which wasnt picked up until she was coming out)
B) She doesn't want to tear ( no idea where this fear has come from 🤷‍♀️)

My argument is that...

1. Recovery from surgery can take longer for fibro sufferers
2. Anaesthetic/ epidurals don't work as well on us either
3. She lives 30 miles away from us, near her husband's family and knowing my sister, she will expect us ( our mum at least) to be there every day ( mum has fibro, ms and 2 Foster kids of school age plus my elderly grandparents who we both care for)
4. With all the uncertainty regarding covid, she will possibly be in hospital alone for a few days after the birth
5. After trying for so long I dont understand why she wouldn't at least want to try a natural birth?

She's a nightmare to try and talk to and once she's made a decision (even bad ones) she wont change her mind (typically baby of the family syndrome - brat)

Just to add...I will be showing her the replies as she is refusing to listen to me, my mum or my gran (who has had a natural birth and a c section...50 years ago but I dont think the basics have changed)

AIBU to think shes being an utter idiot in thinking a c section is the 'easiest' (her words) option?

Ok then my points....I'm sorry if my wording made it seem as though this was an argument

@Rainbowsandpotsofgold

This is what we are trying to get through to her....a c section isn't the easy option. It may seem it now but the recovery from it will be hard for her.

Well, you've said that I presume? And she disagrees? So, not much more to be discussed really! I'd leave her to it. Hopefully she has a good experience. Many women do. Mine was alright really, in the scheme of things too. We are both here and healthy.

I had a very difficult vb and a very straightforward caesarean (as a result of what horned the first time). I have to say, I'd take the caesarean any time. A straightforward vb is obviously preferable, but who knows what you are going to get. I recovered way quicker from the caesarean than the vb. I'm afraid I have some sympathy with her. Although I didn't know you could just choose to have an elective C

This is none of your business, why are you trying to police her body and what she does with it?

Calling any woman an idiot for exercising the right to birth how she chooses is vile.

This.

Get to fuck. It’s her body and her pregnancy and her choice. Keep your judgy beak out.

You have no idea what CS recovery is like because of your ‘natural’ births. Whatever her reasoning is, it’s hers and It’s valid and it’s fuck all to do with you.

As you can probably guess, I had an elective CS, during lockdown, simply because that was how I wanted to give birth. The length of trying for a baby is irrelevant.

I too, endured a load of bollocks judgement.

I healed beautifully, was up and about the same day, running in four weeks, lifting weights by six and have had no complications. It’s a very different procedure to an emergency.

So how about you act the supportive sister and support whatever your sister chooses.

How is major abdominal surgery better and safer than something a woman's body is actually made to do?

I wonder if you’re still going to show her these replies...

But it’s not your business.....

@Rainbowsandpotsofgold

Ok then my points....I'm sorry if my wording made it seem as though this was an argument

Again, you don’t get to have any points. It’s not your birth and none of your business.

Keep your opinions to yourself.

Vile?? For trying to protect my sister from unnecessary suffering??

Her body her choice. Be the big sister she needs and support whatever decision she makes!

Op everything about your post is horrible and the more you post the worse you sound.

You are being overbearing. By all means I would gently make your points but ultimately it is her decision and it’s not up to you to start a thread on her behalf and then try and shove it down her throat.

Would she be expecting you/family to take on more as a result of getting a c section?

Unless you have a crystal ball to know exactly how her natural birth would be, you have absolutely no idea if it would be harder or easier than an elective c-section!

Unless you've had a c-section you have no personal experience of that either

It's none of your business how she gives birth

(To help or not after is up to you of course, but that's it)

Your "baby sister" doesn't need your protection or judgment. She's a 29 year old woman, ffs.

Give her a gentle opinion and let her make her own decision.

I had my babies and was up and showered 2 hours later. I felt great. I was very, very lucky.

Sections are surgery and from what I've seen, it's very tough to be looking after a baby, lifting, up and night, up and down etc after one.
Certainly my friends that had them, had a far tougher time than I did.

She may expect ye to come, however that really isn't realistic when people have other commitments so she will most likely have to just get on with it.

A first birth is a nervous time for many.

But a natural birth can be a heck of lot easier than surgery, in my experience.

But you just don't know. My sister had an emergency c section after a three day labour. That was bad. But the c section itself was an easy recovery for her. She went on to have a planned c section and that was a walk in the park.

Why do you claim to know what is best for your sister, a grown capable woman?

@Rainbowsandpotsofgold

Vile?? For trying to protect my sister from unnecessary suffering??

No, for calling her an idiot.

It's her birth, nothing to do with what you think is best for her.

@Rainbowsandpotsofgold you are a terrible sister. And not a very good woman.

Get out of her pregnancy, it’s not for you and your mum to decide (try to change her mind to act as you both did) how she births her child.

'Knowing what she's like'?! And you were going to show her this? Horrid.

After you show your sister these replies I bet she'll be delighted you started this thread

Thank fuck you aren’t my sister.

The best thing for a woman in pregnancy is to do what she wants.

Have your own fucking VB and let her have the CS she is entitled to