...to think this extended maternity leave bollocks just needs to stop.

[ScreamedAtTheMichaelangelo]

www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-essex-54089754

I can't be the only one to think the campaign has run its course and just needs to stop?

Labouring women are still not allowed to be with their partners in anything but an hour of the actual birth....the phrase 'bigger fish to fry' can't help but spring to mind.....

My youngest was in NICU for a few months and had four surgeries whilst I was on maternity leave. We were advised not to take him to any groups even when he was well as he is prone to infection. Now he is three and I am back at work and juggling his lifelong disability along with everything else.

Was my mat leave what I wanted? No! But life isn’t fair. The people behind this campaign make me genuinely angry.

I know it will be met with horror, but I do wonder if the 12 months' ML is ready too long and has a detrimental effect on women?

With DS1 it was only 6 months and with DS2 I took 8 months. Both times, things had moved on so much at work that it took me a really long time to get back to where I was beforehand.

The extended ML campaign, IMO, will benefit people who don't really plan to go back to their careers, whereas maternity leave is supposed to support women to maintain their careers. It's already really inconvientent for employers to employ women of childbearing age, which is something most are prepared to live with but I don't think it benefits women to keep making it harder to employ us.

Surely maternity leave is a time for a woman to bond with her baby, recover from the birth and adjust to having a baby in the family, not to go out socialising and going to baby classes (most of which are a modern invention to guilt extort yet more money out of new mums.

A friends daughter gave birth 10 days before lockdown. She has loved not having to trail about with baby in tow, but just relax, settle into a good routine and take her baby for walks in the sunshine. Her DH is working from home so feels he has been able to bond with the baby (and share night wakings) in a way he wouldn't have been able to if he'd had to go back to work after paternity leave. The hardest part was not being able to let family and friends have a cuddle for 3 months, but as much of their family is far flung across the globe it was going to be cirtual cuddles over Zoom anyway.

This is going to set women's rights in the workplace back a generation.

Social isolation is a risk for everyone during a pandemic, it’s not specific to any one group. In fact I’d imagine single older people are most at risk because they’re less likely to have work or a baby to keep them busy during the day, less likely to have a partner Coming back from work each day or working from home, and they’re less likely to be confident with Zoom, FaceTime and all those other ways of being able to see friends and relatives even when you can’t be with them.

An extra 3 months off work is not going to help anyone feeling socially isolated. There is no justification behind this petition and like @Useruseruserusee, it makes me feel quite angry that the people behind it have so little understanding and perspective of those who have really suffered during this pandemic.

I stand with people who’ve had close family members in intensive care or even dying, without being able to visit. People who’ve had to attend funerals over Zoom. And countless people who’ve lost their jobs or at worrying every moment that once the furlough scheme ends, their job will go, perhaps losing their house in the process.

Those are the people I support. Not some entitled bunch of mothers wanting more time off to go to fucking coffee shops and baby groups

Yeah I just can't get on board with this. It smacks of entitlement.

I had my second child in April. We were under a full lockdown at the time and had to get a police permit to leave the house to go to the hospital (I'm not in UK).

I had to have a COVID test before birth and was told if it was positive I would be separated from my newborn. It was bizarre and scary and we didn't really know at that stage how bad things were going to get.

Despite all that, and not being able to get out of the house at all until my daughter was about 6 weeks old, we got through it and made the best of things. Yes it's not quite as I'd anticipated it but I was home with my kids and we were all safe and well - more than a lot of families have to be honest.

None of my family have met my daughter and she's nearly 5 months old now. We're hoping Christmas will be a possibility. My family will have to quarantine for 2 weeks on their return to UK which is causing issues. Just make the best of it and we'll all have some stories to tell later on!

It's so precious. Many of us didn't get the maternity leave filled with coffee mornings and baby classes for various reasons. A baby with different needs, recovering from maternal birth injuries, post natal depression etc etc.

I spent my maternity fighting the biggest battle of my life to date, with PND. It was unbelievably shit and I do feel a prang of sadness when I see happy mums with their babies, hanging out in coffee shops.

But why should your maternity leave be extended for that?! By all means become a stay at home mum or drop your hours etc but it's on you and your family to finance it.

@YummyJamDoughnut

YANBU. It's unfortunate, but we've all had to accept that 2020 has been shit for everything. It's just bad luck if you give birth during a pandemic, just like it's just bad luck that people had to cancel holidays, couldn't sit exams, haven't seen family, have had to adjust to all kinds of things...

Exactly this.

Today 08:41 FinnyStory

‘I know it will be met with horror, but I do wonder if the 12 months' ML is ready too long and has a detrimental effect on women?’

I would never say that Maternity and paternity rights should be reduced, because I don’t think that would be a backward step for society. But I do think you make a valid point. I’ve felt for a while that the more people are given, the more they want.
There seems to be a huge sense of entitlement around the legislation now... almost as if some mums forget that ML is about supporting women to stay and progress in work - it’s not intended to be some sort of social jolly. Of course, that might be a byproduct of it, but it’s not what its function.

I always give a wry smile when I hear women say they couldn’t possibly transfer the last 2 or 3 months of leave to the baby’s father - because it’s their time off, theyre the one who is bf (how the hell do they think we all managed to bf our babies back in the days of short ML?!)
It all smacks of a very entitled attitude towards it... as if The function of ML is for the mum to have a great social life. The function of ML is, very importantly, to provide a really good deal (far better than many counties) in terms of time out of the workplace to spend with the baby while your job is protected. If a year of that, is still not good enough for some people, then I despair.

That should be I don’t think we should have a backward step for society

@ClickandForget I envy you new mums who have had NT babies under lockdown. I wish that had been my only challenge. I'm not writing this just for me. Many people will read this who are in this, or a close situation. I'm writing it mostly for them .
There's a part of me that envys this signing the petition and believing they've had it the hardest of any Mom's on mat leave because they couldn't go to baby yoga. There's a level of innocence that too many of us can no longer imagine. I spent a lot of the time between the twins births in Dec and lockdown in tears and a good old proportion of lockdown with twins and a 5 yo in tears but at least I knew what mattered is we were home and together. I spent a good chunk of my pregnancy wondering what is do if one or both twins ended up in NICU (they were fine, nearly 7lb each and healthy). Having been through it, it puts a lot into perspective.

Also how does it work?
Of my Mat Leave ended in April/May I wouldn't warrant 3 months and we'd still be in lockdown.
If my Mat Leave ended in June/July we'd still largely be in lockdown or heavy rules, still no baby groups etc.

If it ends in August / Sept I might get a few groups etc but we're also likely to be retightened before Xmas.

So I don't want my 3 months now, I want to go back and then have them later at my convenience please.
And is it 3 months after 9 months or 12? If you were going to take 12 but now want to claim the extra money from 9 is that fair? Does it go on what you cited to work? If I told work 6 months because I couldn't live on Mat pay can I take my 3 months fill pay then?

@ClickandForget

dh back to work the day after each birth It's a different world now innit? 25 years ago my husband took the morning off work to bring us home - back to work by 2pm. Same with dd2, 2 years later. No grandparents around, no friends as recently moved into new area for work. Just NOBODY to call on for even emergency support, let alone a bit of friendly company. Baby yoga and baby swimming and baby 'socialising' not even on the close horizon. I mean, what's that about? I don't believe it's vital for their development. Mine never did any of that stuff. None of my peers children did any of that stuff. Yet their intellectual and emotional development has not suffered one iota. My generation did not have baby groups, my mother's didn't, and her parents didn't. Throughput the past x thousand years, children have been born and raised, and they have flourished, without any input at all from 'baby groups' or baby swimming, or whatever it might be. Babies thrive from positive input from their parents. Baby groups are harmless fun. But they will not shape your baby's character or sense of self. You will.

34 years ago my mum had 10 days on the local hospital maternity ward to recover. Times change!