Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To give neither child an en suite??

426 replies

HamRadio · 10/09/2020 23:46

Yes - first world problems I know.

My kids are 9 and 6. Two girls. We are about to move house and two of the bigger bedrooms have an en suite.

DH and I are having one. The other I was going to make a guest room/office. There are two decent sized bedrooms for the girls.

DD9 wants the en suite. She has been going on and on about it but I don’t want to give it to her.

Firstly, a nine year old does not need a bloody en suite.

Also, I don’t think it’s fair to let her have it and not DD2 so in my view the fairest solution is that neither of them has it (I feel like DD2 gets a lot of hand me downs etc and it’s an issue that I have become quite conscious of).

DH agrees with me but my sister thinks we are bonkers to make the second biggest bedroom a barely-used guest room and that it’s a waste of space.

Would appreciate some views...

OP posts:
celtiethree · 10/09/2020 23:51

We have a similar set up and the en-suite room is the spare room. I’d ignore your sister.

Fungster · 10/09/2020 23:53

Agree with you. It'll be a nice "guest suite". No 9-year old needs an en-suite (or 15 year old come to that 😄)

Alwaysinpain · 10/09/2020 23:54

Your 9yr old won't stay 9 forever... She will appreciate the privacy and will feel very grown up I imagine!
When guests come you could always give the guests your room or hers even? Make a deal that she can have it, however when guests arrive, she has to have the spare room?

(It's common place in the US for kids to have their own en suite bathroom just an fyi)

mangocoveredlamb · 10/09/2020 23:54

Our biggest bedroom is the spare! It means we can also fit a desk etc in, and we didn’t want it for ourselves as we have the second biggest (and nicest) at the back over looking the garden.

If you have two en suites having one for guest is lovely!

MaskingForIt · 10/09/2020 23:55

Is the 9 year old going to be scrubbing the shower and toilet? If not, it’s just an extra bathroom for you to clean.

HamRadio · 10/09/2020 23:56

Your 9yr old won't stay 9 forever... She will appreciate the privacy and will feel very grown up I imagine

I do appreciate this. But my six year old won’t stay six forever either and I’m sure would also appreciate the privacy. So why should the older one get it by default?

OP posts:
TORDEVAN · 10/09/2020 23:58

To me it would depend on the room sizes. I wouldn't give a much smaller room to avoid an en-suite dispute. Besides, your second DD will basically have the family bathroom to herself?

Are you or your sister the elder?

MJMG2015 · 10/09/2020 23:58

Nope. Guest room & office.
Plus it's an option if you are DH are unwell & feel better sleeping separately.

9&6 can share the 'family' bathroom

She'll sulk, but she'll get over it.

I wouldn't let her use it either as it's nice to have one 'guest ready' and not have an extra one to clean properly all the time.

roadsurvey · 10/09/2020 23:59

I would find another house that suits you better. What a waste of an ensuite. I may be in the minority here but when you buy a house you should want to use the facilities for you and your family that live there, not for the occasional guest.

LittleBearPad · 10/09/2020 23:59

Yanbu. It wouldn’t be fair on the 6 year old - who will also grow up.

A decent sized study/guest bedroom is a better use. Especially if you or your husband have to work from home a lot.

Justpickaname · 11/09/2020 00:01

Could you give your eldest the en-suite room, and make the main bathroom into the youngest bathroom? You could decorate it in a way that she would like and see as her own?

Justpickaname · 11/09/2020 00:02

Also, how often do you have guests? Often enough to keep the room as a spare?

HamRadio · 11/09/2020 00:03

I’m the oldest of four siblings. We had one family bathroom. I can’t get on board with the idea that a child or teen “needs” their own bathroom (although can see why they might like it of course!).

It is a bigger bedroom for sure but it’s not massive. The girls’ bedrooms are a fine size.

OP posts:
emptyplinth · 11/09/2020 00:07

I'd give your older DD the en-suite and let your DD2 pick the best bedroom.
Pointless to save it for guests

TerribleCustomerCervix · 11/09/2020 00:07

Are the sizes of the rooms pretty much equal?

It’s not any fairer for the 6 year old if neither she or her sister got the en suite but she was landed with the box room or most awkwardly shaped room anyway.

TheSunIsStillShining · 11/09/2020 00:08

Nope. If I had 2 I'd give the same to both. I have one son (15) and he does have an ensuite which I clean :(
But he only got it as that is the much bigger room and he needs living space whilst we need a bed to crash on at night.

roadsurvey · 11/09/2020 00:09

I’m the oldest of four siblings. We had one family bathroom. I can’t get on board with the idea that a child or teen “needs” their own bathroom

Well I mean they don't 'need' it, but equally if you are not intending using bar for guests neither do you. The house isn't right for you.

HamRadio · 11/09/2020 00:10

Yeah there isn’t much between the two other bedrooms. There is also space downstairs which I’m going to make into a playroom/hang-out space for them when they have pals over etc.

OP posts:
AntiSocialDistancer · 11/09/2020 00:14

If yoy have an en suite, and 9yo has an en suite, then surely your 6yo will have a family bathroom to herself? Everyone will win

TheEC · 11/09/2020 00:15

YANBU. Your younger is only younger by 3 years and she’ll quickly feel left out. I’d keep it spare

feistyoneyouare · 11/09/2020 00:20

I'd make it the guest room. Guests are likely to appreciate their own bathroom. Kids don't need ensuites.

yellowgusset · 11/09/2020 00:21

Is it just the four of you? I'd let her have it and tell DD6 that the family bathroom is her 'ensuite' Smile

Rooms are there to be lived in, no point saving the second best one for guests when your DDs are home all the time.

HamRadio · 11/09/2020 00:22

I think when I stay at someone’s house, life is so much easier when we have an en suite and can be fairly self-contained when getting ready etc

OP posts:
yellowgusset · 11/09/2020 00:22

Sidenote - my DB had an ensuite and I didn't, it never occurred to me to be bothered.

roadsurvey · 11/09/2020 00:25

I think when I stay at someone’s house, life is so much easier when we have an en suite and can be fairly self-contained when getting ready etc

Do you get a lot of guests? I don't, which is probably why I can't imagine prioritising a room for someone other then the family members who live in the house.

Swipe left for the next trending thread