To give neither child an en suite??

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Yes - first world problems I know.

My kids are 9 and 6. Two girls. We are about to move house and two of the bigger bedrooms have an en suite.

DH and I are having one. The other I was going to make a guest room/office. There are two decent sized bedrooms for the girls.

DD9 wants the en suite. She has been going on and on about it but I don’t want to give it to her.

Firstly, a nine year old does not need a bloody en suite.

Also, I don’t think it’s fair to let her have it and not DD2 so in my view the fairest solution is that neither of them has it (I feel like DD2 gets a lot of hand me downs etc and it’s an issue that I have become quite conscious of).

DH agrees with me but my sister thinks we are bonkers to make the second biggest bedroom a barely-used guest room and that it’s a waste of space.

Would appreciate some views...

Keep it for the guests and the girls share the main bathroom. Unfair otherwise.

I'm intrigued by having (and having to clean) a bathroom you don't use. Will one be for your use and one DH with the girls sharing the family one? Can't you compromise and let DD use the bathroom when it's not being used for guests?

Trust me, when they are both mid-teens you will really resent having to clean makeup residue off multiple sinks. You have the right set up.

Going against the majority but we initially had the large 2nd bedroom (with en-suite) as a guest room - but we very seldom have guests to stay thankfully and it made sense to give it to our child who was about to start high school. We kitted it out really nicely and he loves having friends to stay (pre-Covid) and the space/privacy it gives him.

As others have said, your other child will essentially have the main bathroom to herself, so it's a win-win! Also, unless you want your guests to stay for a very long time, you don't want to make them too comfortable

As another PP has said if anyone has a spare ensuite that is not used regularly you need to run the taps and shower every week otherwise you may risk giving an occasional guest legionnaires

A 9yr old doesn't need an ensuite and it wouldn't be fair to the 6yr old as she grows up.
So what if the 9yr old keeps going on about it, you say no, it's going to be an office and guest suite.
Maybe that's harsh but I grew up sharing a one bathroom in a family of 6 also 3 sisters shared a bedroom, older sister had a box room (we used to have an outside toilet too) ahhh the good old days

I definitely wouldn't give a primary age child their own bathroom. They're not going to keep it clean are they?

Better to have the girls share the family bathroom and just have the one getting messy.

We have two en suites. The second is our guest room. Neither of my children have it. They both have double bedroom sized rooms, they aren't deprived. If one is still living with us as an adult they can have it then.

Our family had a similar set up. I was given the en-suite (younger child, but girl) whilst my brother had the family bathroom as his bathroom.
The privacy it gave me was invaluable once I became a teenager and was dealing with things like periods, I had it from the age of 5.
I’d give it to you daughter personally. The other child can use the family bathroom like my brother.

We have that situation here. It's great to have a spare room with en-suite for guests. If you let one of your girls have it you'd still get complaints anyway, from the other one! My two boys have a shared jack and Jill en-suite WC - we converted a walk in wardrobe between their rooms so they both have access to it. Could you consider something like that?

Even if a 4 bed had just one en suite, I'd make it the guest room/study. Unless you're talking full on bathroom accessed by palatial walk in wardrobe, I wouldn't want a toilet that close to the bed.

Keep the second ensuite as a guest room.

It is much better and easier for the whole household when you have guests staying if they don't have to share the family bathroom - as well as for them.

Two girls only 3 years apart in age should have no issues with sharing a bathroom.

I’d give it to you daughter personally. The other child can use the family bathroom like my brother

She’s my daughter too 🤷🏻‍♀️

I will be sticking to my guns.

Also I did not know about the legionnaires thing so that’s good to know!

Tell DD1 that after a lot of thinking you've decided to give it to DD2. Then ask her if she thinks that's fair, and if she doesn't ask her why on earth she thinks it would be fair the other way round.

Guests will really appreciate having an en suite as when you're staying at someone else's house it's nice to not worry about being seen scurrying wet and half naked from the shower to your room.

We've recently had an extension and now have 2 ensuites. Like you, the plan was to keep one as a guest room much to DD14's disappointment. We also have DS16.

Then, my sister (what is it with sisters?) pointed out that we hardly ever have overnight guests (true!) so it's a total waste of a bathroom. Thinking about it, DD has cluttered up the main bathroom with her lotions & potions, much to her brother's annoyance, plus she spends so much time in there so would be good to keep her self contained.She also constantly moans about her brother's bathroom habits! Her existing bedroom is large (actually a bit bigger than the ensuite one) and would make the perfect storage/laundry/ hobby/occasional guest room! DS doesn't care as he likes his room which is opposite the main bathroom which he will effectively have to himself anyway. Appreciate it might be trickier with 2 girls but could you sell it that way?

Not a chance would I give one of my kids an ensuite it would be minging in no time. I'd definitely do what you propose

I’m with you, OP. Give the kids the same. But if Ymir’s determined a kid should get the room, I’d be inclined to give it to the six year old, rather than the demanding nine year old who gets everything new.

@BitOfFun Oh, it's no where near as wanky as it sounds.
I only mentioned it because if I didn't, and just said DD 5 has an en suite, I'd meet a pile on of some sort!

I would let the 9 year old have the en suite on condition her sister is also allowed to use it.
Your 9 year old wants it and you have it to give. Why would you not let her.
When your dc are adults and you look back you will never regret being too soft with them but you will regret the times you were hard for no real reason. I speak from experience.

Did you post on AIBU for advice?

I love an en-suite as a guest.

I think your idea is fine.

But could you make a joint en-suite for the girls or will they share the family bathroom?

Yanbu. We have 2 en suites too and one is an office/guest room. Giving that room to one of my dc would start ww3!

I'd let her have the en suite. Your youngest will have the family bathroom to herself so everyone has their own bathroom.

We have three bedrooms with en suites and two without. Both DC have an en suite but that means the guest room doesn't. If I had my time again one of the en suite rooms would have been a guest room. Far easier when you have guests.

We had this same issue. We use the bedroom with the second en-suite as a guest bedroom. Didn’t cross our mind to give it to one of our DS. They share the family bathroom and DH and I use the en suite in our bedroom.