To ask is it weird if you never masturbate?

[Rainbowb]

I vaguely remember doing it in my teens but never have since. I’ve just been watching I hate Suzie and she does quite a lot of it and it’s kind of reminded me that I never do it but everyone else probably does. I’ve just never felt the desire to. It feels a bit gross and stupid and I would feel totally ridiculous even attempting it.

Just so as not to drip feed, I’ve been with the same guy since I was 18 (now in my forties) and I’ve always had a low sex drive especially since having a baby and a third degree tear. I do fancy men and think about them in that way but just can’t do what other people do, it’s just...icky.

Putting myself out on a limb here, just want to know what it means - am I asexual or a prude or what?!

@DontTouchTheMoustache

I've been single for a while and I have quite a large selection of vibrators which I use frequently, sometimes several times a day. I am starting to think reading this that I may have quite a high sex drive.

Ha didn't anyone comment in previous relationships? Mine usually go .. Man 'i have a high sex drive' Me 'great me too'

Some time later
Man 'you're a nympho sex addict'
Me 'sigh. Another man who was previously fucking someone who wanted sex once a week and thought that wanting it more often made them a sex god' 'wanders off ...'

@PremierInn this with bells on!! As soon as they cant keep up then you are a nympho, mens egos are such delicate things

Another favourite is the man who is forward about sex but if you then return this sexual interest they shame you as a slut. No my good man, I enjoy sex and as it happens that has no bearing on my worth as a human being much like its doesnt for you. Same men also then scratch their heads with confusion when they start dating someone who doesnt "put out" because they have a low sex drive 🤦‍♀️🤦‍♀️

[quote DontTouchTheMoustache]@PremierInn this with bells on!! As soon as they cant keep up then you are a nympho, mens egos are such delicate things

Another favourite is the man who is forward about sex but if you then return this sexual interest they shame you as a slut. No my good man, I enjoy sex and as it happens that has no bearing on my worth as a human being much like its doesnt for you. Same men also then scratch their heads with confusion when they start dating someone who doesnt "put out" because they have a low sex drive 🤦‍♀️🤦‍♀️[/quote]

I feel your pain!

I read somewhere that if you're single & not having sex that when you reach peri menopause your vagina can 'atrophy'!

So you should masturbate regularly to stop this from happening... or get an FWB...
Use it or lose it apparently!

Not sure if the above is true but I'm not leaving it to chance.

I do wonder if women with low libido have undiagnosed hormone problems though. I have a prolactinoma which was diagnosed in my early 20s one of the symptoms is zero sex drive. I take medication to correct the hormone levels

ABsolutely not, in my case! I wish people wouldn't make this a problem. It's only that if you have a partner with a much higher drive than you.

I have never had any hormonal problems, never taken medication of any sort. Had two perfectly healthy pregnancies, easy conception, easy births (one a home birth). Regular periods, and a menopause practically without a single symptom, other than periods stopping, and later, slowly gaining about 10 extra pounds I could do without.
If high libido is healthy, then so is low libido. It doesn't matter, as long as you're happy with what you have, and I am and have always been. I've never wanted sex without my partner wanting it first, and certainly never wanted sex without loving someone -- though I've done it; but only to please him, when I was young and silly!

never taken medication of any sort. I should perhaps add that I did take pain medication after hip replacement surgery.

I have enough sexual fantasies to write erotica the length of War and Peace. I don’t need to run into a handsome man. Maybe I have spent far too much of my life thinking about sex.

Hahaha love it! I do like a man in builders boots i guess i do think rude thoughts about nice looking men but cant be bothered to act on them- normally because if i see them when im out and about ive forgotten about it by the time ive got home!

Tbf i generally know when i need a quick 'servicing' as i have rude dreams &/or feel sensitive down there.

I could easy, and preferably, have sex at least once a day with the right partner though.

May I leave this tribute here to Shere Hite, who sadly passed away today
www.theguardian.com/books/2020/sep/10/she-began-the-real-sexual-revolution-for-women-shere-hite-dies-aged-77

Yes i do hate the way I look, I never lost that pregnancy tunmy and I aint pretty that’s for sure! I know that probably is why I’m not keen on sex either as well as being too tired.

This part stuck out for me. Sex isn't a performance piece, you're not doing it to look good or be looked t, it's supposed to be for your own pleasure.

I do wonder if women with low libido have undiagnosed hormone problems though.

Because there is a libido which is 'correct' and anything else must be fixed with medication?

Wondering if it’s weird that I prefer it to sex? 🤔

(Although totally possible that sex with the right person could be a different matter...)

Another favourite is the man who is forward about sex but if you then return this sexual interest they shame you as a slut. No my good man, I enjoy sex and as it happens that has no bearing on my worth as a human being much like its doesnt for you

Yes, WTF is that all about eh? its as if they expect you to be up for it whenever they want it but at the same time, be just very slightly more demure than them, otherwise you are a nympho!

Stupid male egos

Because there is a libido which is 'correct' and anything else must be fixed with medication

Yeah, I dont agree with this but its also true to say a lot of women dont like BCP because it kills their libido. So, hormones definitely play a role. That does NOT mean it needs to be "fixed" but if the BCP kills it then I totally get why women might not want to take it!

It's not really mentioned in this thread (or discussed much in real life?), but problems with sex (including masturbation and orgasm) can also be as a result of sexual abuse or rape.

These can fundamentally change a person's outlook.

Thank you for your thoughtful and reasoned posts on this thread @NoHands

How do you know what an orgasm is if you don't masturbate? I wouldn't have a clue how to direct a partner to make me come if I didn't know what made me come. I'm puzzled.

Penetrative sex is useless for stimulating my clitoris, which is the organ responsible for 100% of orgasms.

I've never done it in my life.

Question for those who've never flicked the bean:

When you've had an orgasm through penetrative sex, are you not a little bit curious as to how you might be able to make it happen again by yourself? Do you not have sexual fantasies? When your partner goes away for the weekend and you're bored, aren't you a little bit interested in having an amazing orgasm before you go to sleep?

I understand asexuality, I just don't understand not wanting to replicate an earth shattering orgasm, solo

@bgirlbouillabaisse

It generally isnt earth shattering when am by myself, more like scratching an itch, generally over pretty quickly. But on the plus side i can usually come again quite quick.

With a partner i only have those "earth shattering" moments if i really love them, and am able to come in other positions that arent just me on top.

@Wavescrashingonthebeach

I can't orgasm through penetration but can by other means with a partner. It's fine, but I can do exactly what feels good when it's just me I think I'm suited to the single life.

@BGirlBouillabaisse

We're all different & unique & there's nothing wrong with any of it

I understand asexuality, I just don't understand not wanting to replicate an earth shattering orgasm, solo

Never had sex, tried masturbation and got bored after a few minutes. It's just something that never really crosses my mind.

There’s not a correct libido, but changes in libido can be a sign of some kind of condition that could be looked into.

I never talk about it with friends in real life, but I masturabate fairly regularly (clit stimulation with either my hand or a vibrator). It's how I learned some of what I like and don't like in bed, and I can't imagine not knowing my own body enough to be able to make myself orgasm. It's not always a sexual thing when I do it, it just feels amazing, relieves stress, relieves physical pain, boosts my mood and helps me sleep soundly. I think of it almost like a version of self care .

Quite surprised so many people on this thread say that they've never tried it. Each to their own but I think you're really missing out.