To ask is it weird if you never masturbate?

[Rainbowb]

I vaguely remember doing it in my teens but never have since. I’ve just been watching I hate Suzie and she does quite a lot of it and it’s kind of reminded me that I never do it but everyone else probably does. I’ve just never felt the desire to. It feels a bit gross and stupid and I would feel totally ridiculous even attempting it.

Just so as not to drip feed, I’ve been with the same guy since I was 18 (now in my forties) and I’ve always had a low sex drive especially since having a baby and a third degree tear. I do fancy men and think about them in that way but just can’t do what other people do, it’s just...icky.

Putting myself out on a limb here, just want to know what it means - am I asexual or a prude or what?!

In normal times I do it maybe once a week, but don't do much now I'm pregnant as it causes uncomfortable Braxton Hicks contractions.

I've always been a horny bitch and I've never had any hang-ups or enjoying some "me time". I lost my cherry at 14 but I had been busy with the handle of my hair brush from 11-12. It's just an extension of my sexuality and I can orgasm again and again.

DameHannah, interesting you don't like putting your fingers inside yourself. I have never minded doing that, used tampons, and one time, when I was very young, I tried to masturbate that way but it did nothing for me. Later on, in my twenties and going out with he who became my husband, we discovered how to gently manipulate my clitoris and I learned to masturbate when I was in a state of heightened excitement.

It's nice but I prefer making love; it has never bothered me whether or not I orgasm, I enjoy all the surrounding feelings so much.

Random question - if you orgasm from masturbation, but not from vaginal penetration (which according to various studies is the situation for the majority of women, most of the time), why not combine the two? Vaginal penetration with clitoral stimulation. I mean, my first BF and I (both novices) worked out this was what worked at the age of 18.

I ask just because I'm always puzzled on these threads by the number of women saying "I like the closeness of sex and it doesn't bother me that I don't orgasm that way" (not aimed at immediately PP personally, btw, just that her post has prompted me). It's not either/or, it can be both. Is it that you feel that clitoral stimulation during penetration is "cheating", or is it too much faff, or is it awkward to get hands in the right position (which I'll grant it can be in the missionary position)?

(Also, is it just me, or are some of the more recent posters on this thread far more likely to be "Brian from Hull" than genuine contributions?)

I have joined in on this thread previously.

To add, I am with @Gemstone45 all the way. I’m in my early 40s, day off today and have participated twice this morning (it’s 8:45 am). The needs are very different to 1:1 sex, which l also enjoy quite regularly.

In addition, l have a waterproof vibey that “lives” on the bathside, to make bathtimes more relaxing. I wouldn’t be without it.

As for women, who have a problem with touching themselves, l don’t get that. The very functionality of our bodies mean that we should find it normal.

@StarlightLady said: "women, who have a problem with touching themselves, l don’t get that"

I'd agree with that, but there are certainly also many cases to do with upbringing, religion, sexual abuse, rape, asexuality, etc. ... that could result in such behaviour

... and of course in those cases, if you've never masturbated then you've likely (almost certainly?) never had an orgasm ... and missed out on one of life's great experiences (both for yourself, and your partner)

@Adifferentcomment - A very valid point, and issues l have been fortunate enough to avoid. Mum’s sound advice to sister and l when it came to sex was that it should make you “purr” and if it doesn't make you feel nice, then don’t do it. I have been fortunate to have done a lot of “purring” and received a positive upbringing.

@Adifferentcomment - my post above refers to your first comment (11:13). My orgasms are important to me as part of stress prevention and l’m proud of that.

@StarlightLady you were lucky to have such an open/progressive mum!

I've not read the thread fully, but I did notice one or two posters that never had an orgasm, and were in long term relationships. I wonder does that have am impact on the relationship? On their DP?

I understand a person in a long term sexual relationship not always (or even most of the time?) having an orgasm. but never feels very different. I can't imagine being married to a man that have never cum. I'm fairly sure it was have stopped our relationship evolving.

Thoughts anyone?

Of course there are cases when a woman in relationship for money/status only. These do happen! In this case the woman may not be attracted to her DH.

Maybe Mrs Trump is an example?

I really don't understand how some people can't understand that others have different experiences, or needs or expectations etc to them.

Is it really so hard to imagine other people may not like what you like? Or may have once liked it and not like it anymore etc?

If you have had great masturbatory or orgasm experiences, great. But why would you assume this is going to be the same for everyone?

@DianasLasso I couldn’t agree more. I feel the same, fundamentally, as the OP, although I regularly try to masturbate, with no joy. I feel put off by the way I see it, I can’t get away from that. But that is about me, not anyone else. OP was not telling anyone else it is ‘icky’, that’s not fair.

OK also I am going to say it, I understand female biology, but does nobody else’s wee go all over their vulva? Didn’t used to, used to be a neat stream, but comes out in all directions nowadays... (menopausal change)

Clarify- not caused by menopause presumably but coinciding with that time of life...

@billandbeninsanfrancisco

OK also I am going to say it, I understand female biology, but does nobody else’s wee go all over their vulva? Didn’t used to, used to be a neat stream, but comes out in all directions nowadays... (menopausal change)

It depends how you sit. No, I noticed no difference to before the menopause.

@Straven123

Sexual arousal starts in the brain. There used to be a book series called Black Lace with arousing short stories for women. If you are avoiding sexy books/ tv so that you won't feel the urges that lead you to to continue down the path to orgasm you are missing out imv.

I can cum without physical stimulation, just from fantasising and my body remembering previous good sex.

I used to buy those books occasionally, usually at the station before a long train journey...

I've always enjoyed masturbation. I find it to be a good stress relief. I've also never been 100% comfortable and at ease with oral sex.

But maybe I'm just a weirdo.

I don't think you are a weirdo at all JalapenoDave.

@Italiangreyhound thank you. I sometimes feel a bit of an oddball for not being relaxed about oral sex. I'm the furthest thing from a prude; I think it boils down to body confidence.

Maybe it does but actually 'prude' is a term thrown around a lot and it actually (to me) has little meaning. You can feel comfortable with sex or aspects of sexual expression or not. It doesn't necessarily mean that you are right or wrong or others are. As long as our sexual boundaries are about ourselves and consensual sex then we can draw our boundaries ourselves. IMHO.

Lots of people may say this or that is normal or natural but how are we defining natural or normal?

I think if it is consensual and adult (and not hurting others) then it's OK, to want to do it or not want to do it. Whatever it is is.

I'd certainly not use the word "weird". Most people do (or did at some time), but that is totally up to you.

@MargieMo ... your comment about Mrs Trump :) Who knows? My bet is that she certainly needs to have a wank every now and then to relieve the stress of living with that idiot!!

I do maybe twice a month. If you don't, that's your business. Who cares?

New here but clearly nothing is "normal"

I don’t either use to but don’t feel right after