To ask family/friends to not refer to my twin girls as “the twins”

[Bananacloud]

To treat them as individuals. To call them by their names and to stop calling them “the twins”.

Obviously, as a mum, I did quite a lot of research and found that by treating them as “a pair” and not as individuals, they are more chances of them developing eating disorders etc. It’s shit cuz it feels like I’m being a little precious with everyone when I mention not using that word.
What does everyone think?

My niece and nephew are twins. We refer to them as such.
It clearly doesn’t make them identical! And it’s in the context of conversations like “Shall we eat with the twins or do you want to get them into bed first and we’ll eat afterwards?” We might equally say “the children” but the twins are the youngest family members and sometimes what they need is different to the older children (mine). So if we are all together and we mean all the children we tend to say “the children” and if we need the youngest to do something different because of their age, we say “the twins”.
It’s nothing to do with them not being individuals.

Just to be clear though, if I was asking what time to give the children dinner I’d say the twins. If I was asking if they’d like what I was planning to give them I’d ask by name.

I’m finding this thread crazy! There are so many (sad!) posts from people who are twins saying they hated being called ‘the twins‘, please don’t do it, it’s led to issues etc, yet people are STILL dismissing them, posting ‘oh but my sisters friends cousin is a twin and they have no issue’ etc etc.
As a twin mum I’ve found those posts from twins who have struggled with identities etc really sad and I’m really taking everything your saying on board, so thank you for sharing.

I do think it's important to avoid calling them the twins, or the girls, or similar. It's different for twins as they are lumped together in so many ways, constantly, so any way you can minimise this is important.

I call my DDs ‘the girls’. It’s just a way to group people. Like DH goes out with ‘the lads’. People refer to ‘their children’. We don’t need to name them all individually when referring to a group of people.

I'm not a twin or a twin mum, but I can totally see why it matters not to say 'the twins'. I call all the twins I know by their actual names. Its more respectful and its not difficult.

@Dee1975

I call my DDs ‘the girls’. It’s just a way to group people. Like DH goes out with ‘the lads’. People refer to ‘their children’. We don’t need to name them all individually when referring to a group of people.

@Dee1975 do you have twins?

@HollaHolla They're 8. It's surprising that as b/g twins they should be so close. I've worked with twins that dislike each other. I took one shopping this week and she said she was missing her brother, but it was quite fun to be on her own for once. She then bought him his favourite sweets so he didn't miss out. They are rarely apart and have decided to share a room. They've always had their own rooms. Being twins is a huge part of their identity. If they had been both boys or girls or identical, it may have been different. I expect when they get into their teens they will start to become more individual.

No not twins.

I have twin girls and other older children. We have always referred to them as the twins or twinnies. They are in their late teens now and I don’t think it has affected them! It’s an affectionate term I think.

I call my DDs ‘the girls’. It’s just a way to group people. Like DH goes out with ‘the lads’. People refer to ‘their children’. We don’t need to name them all individually when referring to a group of people

I’ve heard one twin being call out twinnie’ or ‘hi twin’ - because they don’t know which one they’re talking too, or can’t be bothered to learn.

I’ve never heard a child being called ‘hey lad’ when the caller knows their name. Or ‘Hi single child’