He's gone away without his phone-really?

[Miss81]

Hi all

Looking for some advice here. I've been with my boyfriend (don't even know if he's that at their point) for just over a year. We started seeing each other soon after he finished with his long term ex (seven year and mother of his 3 year old daughter) and I found out in Feb this year that he has cheated on me with her (I had my suspicions at the time and he constantly denied them). I took him back and then lockdown happened and at first we were ok but he struggles with depression and we split.
His ex wants him back and he spends a lot of time there as he struggles being away from his daughter.

So...we just got back together and he has just gone away for the week and on the night before he goes away he tells me he isn't taking his phone (he is selling his house and wants a break from the calls and stress) with him as he wants quality time with his little girl, he loves me and he can't wait to see me when he gets back.

I'm suspicious, who goes on holiday without a phone? Surely that's dangerous.

So he is either with his ex, or cares so little for me he can't take his phone and send me a text .

What do you think?

Why did you get back together? Men like this don’t change. He will always be a cheat, and you will always suspect him of cheating. You deserve better!

Because he said it was a one off as he was so torn over splitting with his ex.

And we work together which makes it even worse as it feels like there is no escape.

Sorry for typos above, fat fingers!

Why do you keep taking him back? Get some self esteem and go find someone who isn't a cheating, lying dickhead.

Torn because of his daughter I should have said.

I think you know the answer,he’s got the two of you on the go. He’s a shagger
I’d say best to split up let him return to ex,make a go of being a family
If he was really into you he wouldn’t have cheated,sad but true

Oh god, regardless of whether the phone leaving is genuine or not, you are better off out of this. Far too messy! I wouldn’t get involved with someone who was so recently out of a relationship that produced a child, who had got back with his ex at one point while seeing you, and who’s ex was apparently still interested.

The above may well not be true at all - sounds like they are probably either still together or together if and on, and that in fact he’s cheating on her with you.

I’d get out of it with whatever dignity you can.

He is totally giving you the bounce,flagging up he’ll be uncontactable
Hes uncontactable because he can’t be bothered talking to you
He’s clearly not wanting interrupted, and likely busy with the ex and his daughter

Walk away he wants his family not you

He’s shacked up with her for the week. You deserve better.

Run for the hills!!

He wants his family. Not you. Just walk away with your head held high.

Can you see his face book?

Yeah, no he's not leaving his phone at home for that reason. So sorry

Yes I can see it, he's not been on at all since he went.

Thanks everyone, I think deep down I knew but my stupid heart kept telling me otherwise.

You forgave a cheat. He has no respect for you because you didn’t show any for yourself. It’s never a one off and he’s doing it again. Just like any cheat. Sorry OP.

I don’t know of anybody who would go away for a week with no phone and be utterly uncontactable (eg no hotel details) even in the case if an emergency. Don’t trust him. He’s already cheated once. This smacks of deceit.

Did he cheat on you with ex or on ex with you?

It sounds like hes just got the both on you on the go at once. He probably has another phone, no one takes a child on holiday without a phone these days and its quite simple to just switch it off

Come on now. You know you’re being taken for a ride here. Literally that. He’s playing happy families with his family and you’re the side piece.

On me with her, over Xmas. I found out when she told me the day before Valentines 🤣🤣

Ltb

I think the thing is I know they don't live together, I used to live round the corner. They have the daughter separately etc.

Honestly reading this back I sound like such an idiot.

@MsEllany

Come on now. You know you’re being taken for a ride here. Literally that. He’s playing happy families with his family and you’re the side piece.

This. He doesn't really want to move on but you're there as a safety net in case she tells him he has to. This will drag on for years and years.

Yes, you have been an idiot

Now...don't waste any more time on this cheating bloke.

But he won't go back to her, she'd have him back tomorrow if he asked.

I've told him so many times to go back and leave me alone and he just won't leave me be.

I just don't get it, it's not like I'd make it difficult. I said you made a mistake leaving, just got back and make it right and he refuses.

I’d walk away from that so fast I’d be in the Olympics for speed walking. He’s talking bollocks. He doesn’t even give a shit that you know it’s Bollocks.