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Original poster

He's gone away without his phone-really?

152 replies

Miss81 · 06/09/2020 18:35

Hi all

Looking for some advice here. I've been with my boyfriend (don't even know if he's that at their point) for just over a year. We started seeing each other soon after he finished with his long term ex (seven year and mother of his 3 year old daughter) and I found out in Feb this year that he has cheated on me with her (I had my suspicions at the time and he constantly denied them). I took him back and then lockdown happened and at first we were ok but he struggles with depression and we split.
His ex wants him back and he spends a lot of time there as he struggles being away from his daughter.

So...we just got back together and he has just gone away for the week and on the night before he goes away he tells me he isn't taking his phone (he is selling his house and wants a break from the calls and stress) with him as he wants quality time with his little girl, he loves me and he can't wait to see me when he gets back.

I'm suspicious, who goes on holiday without a phone? Surely that's dangerous.

So he is either with his ex, or cares so little for me he can't take his phone and send me a text .

What do you think?

OP posts:
ivykaty44 · 12/09/2020 14:09

I'm suspicious, who goes on holiday without a phone? Surely that's dangerous.

It used to happen really very regularly before mobile phones were about, its very safe

but extremely suspicious

mellowww · 12/09/2020 14:11

Can you check where he is?

billy1966 · 12/09/2020 14:11

Well done OPFlowers

1forAll74 · 12/09/2020 14:23

He doesn't sound reliable and maybe not good for you. But refreshing to know, that someone can actually survive without a phone for once.

Jo0070 · 12/09/2020 15:15

@SentientAndCognisant

Sorry it’s not a great message it’s bumbling and too deferential. Don’t send that He’s not a lovely guy,he’s a shagger. A liar. Grade A geezer. Who has 2 women on the go Because they’re work colleagues op needs to be cordial. That’s all.Nothing else
I know what you mean - he isn't a lovely guy, he's an absolute prick - but my thoughts are that Miss81 has to work with him - and so to try and make that a bit easier try and give closure in a friendly way.

I was going with 'lovely' to help balance the message - so the message doesn't come across that she's annoyed in any way. The message is meant to pasify him, and say "I've no emotion towards you, you don't exist in my head, now go away and stop bothering me" :-)

Original poster
Miss81 · 12/09/2020 15:20

I'm ignoring him because he wants attention. I'll be ignoring him at work too unless I absolutely have to talk to him.

He went a week without contact so he can keep that streak going forever as far as I'm concerned.

Someone has to break the triangle, he can go back to his ex for all I care, he's not that special that I'm going to keep boosting his ego.

OP posts:
BlueThistles · 12/09/2020 15:44

OP you sound delighted he's back now but remember he dropped you in a heart beat to swan off for a weeks holiday and sex with his Ex 🌺

iVampire · 12/09/2020 15:52

I'm suspicious, who goes on holiday without a phone? Surely that's dangerous

He’ll have gone with his real phone. The one he’s leaving g behind will be the second phone, only used for cheating, because risk of it being discovered by his DP whilst away is just too great

Original poster
Miss81 · 12/09/2020 16:25

@BlueThistles

OP you sound delighted he's back now but remember he dropped you in a heart beat to swan off for a weeks holiday and sex with his Ex 🌺
What? How on earth do I sound delighted he's back. Are you reading a different thread?
OP posts:
SentientAndCognisant · 12/09/2020 17:58

@Miss81has clearly said she’s not entertaining his shite anymore

Jo0070 · 12/09/2020 18:05

Keep us informed on how he likes his kick in the goolies - ooouch! Football Football

MarriedtoDaveGrohl · 12/09/2020 18:57

Poor ickle baby being lonely. Never mind I'm sure his ex can comfort him. Obviously you'll feel terribly sad. From afar

BlueThistles · 12/09/2020 18:58

What? How on earth do I sound delighted he's back. Are you reading a different thread?

good, because you deserve so much better. 🌺

Original poster
Miss81 · 12/09/2020 23:18

No you have all made me see the light. He messaged again today and I ignored him. And the best bit is I'm not even tempted to reply.

OP posts:
TorkTorkBam · 12/09/2020 23:30

Excellent!

Jo0070 · 13/09/2020 00:07

Wine Cheers to you Miss81 for recognising your self worth. You had a sneak at Bumble yet? Grin

mellowww · 13/09/2020 05:48

Well done.

Of course his phone was with him.

It always astonishes me how men address a logistical problem like 'hm, the one woman I'm rubbing sun tan lotion on while on holiday will be fucked off if the other one at home rings for face time sex' ... 'ah, I know - I'll just say I am not taking my phone with me - that'll do the trick - and she won't think that's weird at all'.

Just thinking about him saying that to you makes my blood boil, so I can imagine how you feel.

This wasn't just about his daughter. It was about a domestic set up. And would have continually ruined your chance at a proper relationship/life.

So well done!! He's got what he deserved. Now you 'haven't got your phone with you' ... forever ... 👌

aToadOnTheWhole · 13/09/2020 07:13

Men like this never change. You've done well to get shut OP.

bobbiester · 13/09/2020 07:20

Everyone used to go away without a mobile phone. E.g. in the early 1990s. It was great!!!

Brainfogmcfogface · 13/09/2020 08:00

OP, didn’t you say you blocked him on everything? Admittedly I haven’t rtft so may have missed something, and hope I have, but how is it he’s messaging you and you’re seeing those messages if you’ve blocked him?

Original poster
Miss81 · 13/09/2020 11:01

@Brainfogmcfogface

OP, didn’t you say you blocked him on everything? Admittedly I haven’t rtft so may have missed something, and hope I have, but how is it he’s messaging you and you’re seeing those messages if you’ve blocked him?

I did say below but there's a lot of comments, it's a work phone and we work together so I cannot block him.

OP posts:
Jo0070 · 01/10/2020 22:05

Helllloo Miss81,

You've gone a bit quiet - dare I ask how you're getting on?

Original poster
Miss81 · 05/10/2020 19:56

@Jo0070

Helllloo Miss81,

You've gone a bit quiet - dare I ask how you're getting on?

As you would expect really. He came home and denied it, the ex randomly posts a picture of a beach a few days later.

He swears she didn't go and has been over the top nice at work ever since (guilty conscience)

Scary how some people are so manipulative really.

OP posts:
PossiblyPattio · 05/10/2020 20:01

He sounds like a fucking knob. Run and never look back OP. You don't deserve this.

Original poster
Miss81 · 05/10/2020 20:15

@PossiblyPattio

He sounds like a fucking knob. Run and never look back OP. You don't deserve this.
Agreed! Thank you x
OP posts:
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