To feel sad I'll never have a daughter

[Tatatatata]

I feel horribly guilty.

I am currently pregnant with a healthy boy. My first child and likely my last due to a few reasons I won't go into here to keep it short!

I know I should be grateful to just even be here at all after everything we've gone through to reach this point but in a way, I can't help but feel a little sad that I'll never have a baby girl.

I don't know why, I just always pictured myself with a daughter. I'm an only child and I love the relationship I have with my mum and worry I'll never experience that the same with a son.

Don't get me wrong, I am so excited to meet our boy. I'm just feeling sad that this is likely it now for us and I likely won't ever get the chance to be a mum to a little girl.

I have both. Boys are very loving and caring.
Yes you have to stand out in freezing weather to watch football matches or cricket, but my girls did the same!
It’s like watching a new puzzle because you know what’s it’s like to be a girl and boys are a breath of fresh air (I didn’t have brothers)

3 boys here but know what you mean. I think it is an adult daughter I will miss having but having read all the MIL stories on here I will make sure I am the nicest one there ever is.

I am going to YANBU because I would feel the same. But, I completely believe that once you have your son in your arms you will totally change your mind. And when he starts to show you his personality, you will not ever be able to imagine how it could be anything else.

I have three boys and I wouldn’t change them for anything (genuinely). We are in a position where I could quite happily and comfortably keep having children until I got a girl but I honestly don’t want to. All three are gorgeous, all so different... they are fun, loving and just everything.

Mine aren’t into football or sports (yet) so I never have to stand on a cold football pitch. The boy stereotypes definitely don’t apply to my three.

You will love it.

Firstly you don’t know what the future holds.

You may have further children even if at this point you think you won’t but also I wouldn’t believe having a girl means you get a certain relationship that wouldn’t happen with a boy.

I know plenty of mother/daughter relationships that are completely sour and despite what you read on MN I know a fair few women who have close relationships with their sons and are even closer with their DILs.

I have 4 boys and one girl, have a different relationship with each of them. DD is my most challenging by far!

I don’t blame you
I have a girl and boy
Both so wonderful
But they do offer different experiences
I love them equally
I prefer parenting my daughter

I am pregnant with number 2, who will be the last (husband's decision not mine but i totally respect his long-held wish for no more than 2). We can't find out here what sex it is. Current child is a little boy. I wanted a girl so badly first time around so I get you. But honestly now DS is a reality, he is so utterly perfect that I can't imagine ever having wanted anything else. I reckon you will feel the same.

Would I like DC2 to be a girl? Well, being honest, yes I would. But i have absolute confidence that if it's another boy I will feel blessed when he arrives and not regret his not being a girl.

Congrats on your pregnancy x

@SeasonFinale

3 boys here but know what you mean. I think it is an adult daughter I will miss having but having read all the MIL stories on here I will make sure I am the nicest one there ever is.

Yes to this! It's not so much the child years that I mean. But as an adult, the relationship I have with my mum now, I don't know I just picture it being very different with a boy.

PP is probably right that I'll feel completely differently once he's here and I honestly don't mean it to come across that I'm not looking forward to having a son, I really am. But it makes me sad that there will never be an opportunity now to maybe have a daughter.

Ignore the standing besides the freezing footie pitch comments. My school is absolutely full of girl football players and it's on the rise!

My first child was a boy and when I was pregnant with our second I knew it was going to be our last baby and so I really hoped it would be a girl. When we were told at the 20 week scan it was another boy I was so upset, I think I had tears in my eyes whilst trying to pretend I was really happy.

I felt very down for about 3 days but it wasn’t because I didn’t want another boy, it was because I knew I would never have a daughter.

Both my boys are amazing, I love them so much and I can’t imagine having a girl now. I often joke to my husband that if we ever did have another baby then I would want another boy.

I certainly don’t feel like I have missed out on anything because having sons is wonderful.

There was a lovely thread on here a few days ago which was purely about how wonderful having boys is and it was such a wonderful thread seeing all the women write about their boys with such love.

I understand how you are feeling but honestly, when you have your little boy in your arms he will become your everything and not having a daughter won’t even be a thought that crosses your mind

YANBU. I have one of each and I think I would have felt like I was missing out on an experience had I has two DDs or vice versa.

I think I'm just desperate to recreate the closeness I share with my mum now as an adult. In reality, we never really got on when I was growing up and I stayed living with my dad when they divorced.

I'm already sad at the thought that he'll be grown up one day 😂

I brought up boys. They are lovely, just different to girls. It's one of those things in life we can't change and it's pointless getting upset about.
You never know, you might find that in future you have granddaughters, as I have.

I have one boy. May or may not be my only child, havnt decided. I felt the same as you, but my god, being a boy mother is amazing. (Also I love standing on a freezing cold pitch and i NEVER thought I'd say that eleven years ago 😂).

Not having an adult daughter is kind of sad, but when I think of it I can't imagine any relationship being better than the one I have with my son, so 🤷🏻‍♀️

Try not to worry, OP. I have one DS who is 11, and we are very close. Just the same as I remember being with my mum when I was 11. We snuggle up to watch silly TV together, we bake, we go shopping (for Lego, but he also likes getting new clothes) and we like taking ourselves out on adventures doing things like geocaching or visiting new places. He loves going out for meals. He's into scouts and music and tennis, which are all things I enjoy too.

For an adult perspective, my husband is really close to his mum and sees her a lot, but his sister is rarely in touch with their parents. It's all about the individuals involved, so enjoy what's in front of you as much as you can!

As adults, my brother is closer to my mum than I am. I’m much closer to my dad.

My brother goes shopping & on spa days etc with my mum, they talk pretty much every day and he lives closer so helps out with things a lot more than I can.

Every relationship is different. I’m not the daughter that my mum expected and my brother isn’t the son she expected - I am probably the daughter my dad hoped for though

I get the gender disappointment. I am expecting a boy and would have initially felt disappointed if expecting a girl. No matter what people say, it is completely normal to have pre-conceived ideas about who your child will be and the relationship you will have, although in reality it is likely to be very different.

Thank you! I think I have this preconceived idea of boys just growing up quicker and not really needing their mums anymore 😂 I don't know where that's come from. As an only child I can only ever go off my own experience, I've never been around boys or had brothers and seen their relationships with my parents.

My own husband lives hours away from his mum and dad and doesn't see them all that often.

I don't have any children but I have great relationships with my adult nieces. All the fun and closeness without the angst.

Enjoy your baby boy OP

I don't have any nieces as I don't have any siblings

I don't know, guess I would have just liked to experience the mother/daughter thing in some way even if it were a niece.

I agree with PP thought that is all preconceived ideas in my head about what it would be like and it probably wouldn't be like what I imagine!

Think positively. Men are far more likely to leave the family unit when their offspring are solely female.
I always wanted two DC and have two sons, now teens. For us, having two of the same gender close in age who get on well far outweighs the fact I didn't have a DD.
FWIW my DM always wanted a DD. As an adult I never ever went shopping, on holiday or spa days etc with her. She lived ten minutes away and I saw her once or twice a month. Personalities are what make people gel, not their relationship to each other.

I’m my mums only child, we are not close. I’m quite close to my MIL, you may get a lovely DIL one day op.

I remember feeling similar when I found out my DS was a boy, and then I felt guilty which compounded my feeling sad.

All of those feelings disappeared before he was born and I'm so glad he is who he is. Little boys are very loving (at least in my experience) and we have a beautiful bond.

Only meant to copy my own post not half the thread, sorry! I've asked for it to be deleted

I'm PG after a miscarriage last year and I always thought I'd want a girl but right now, I'd be happy just to have a healthy baby regardless of their sex.