To just bring a small child to a nice place to eat?

[FairyAndLavender]

Im probably going to get a bashing for this...

I take DS out to eat a lot and he's okay, but they're only generic places that are clearly family friendly.

DS is 3 soon but has ASD and he makes a lot of loud sharp intakes of breath to self regulate.

He can be a bit tricky to keep still sometimes but I'd NEVER allow any getting down!

Anyway, it's my grandmother's birthday soon and I've booked a fancy tapas place in Covent Garden, the website says it is small and intimate so shouldn't be too many people there anyway.

AIBU to bring DS knowing there's a chance he could really annoy people?

I haven't read the whole thread but based on your OP, go! Your son is a part of society and he should participate in it. I mean, its lunchtime, its perfectly appropriate. If people can't deal with it thats on them.

Lunch, absolutely fine, but be prepared to step out with him if too noisy.
Early dinner, also ok, I know a lot of adults who are both noisy and more annoying than I bet your DS is.
Especially in Covent Garden on a Thursday or Friday 🙄

We've always taken our kids to wherever we were going, from weeks old, or we'd never've been able to eat out (lots of short-term living in foreign locations, meant we rarely found babysitters). They know what they like, they eat from the adult menu no problem, they know how restaurants work, and they'd never even think of running around.

Lunch time he'll be absolutely fine. Definitely no worse than the loud talkers or tipsy exuberant laughers.

Having said that, they do also like the kind of place that has a kiddie play area, although the trips back to the table to report injustices makes it less appealing for us.

I wouldn't ever have been comfortable taking either of my 2 year olds out to anywhere fancy, tbh. It would just not have been fun.

Only you know how your son will cope OP.

But I'm not sure how 'small and intimate' means there shouldn't be too many people there.

I would've thought it'd mean the complete opposite.

I would look at it from your child's point of view. If you think he can handle it and would enjoy it then go for it.

If you think it may be a bit much then maybe give it another year.

Its lunch time I think if you go out to dinner at lunchtime you expect to see kids.

If you dont wanna see kids go fir a really late lunch around 3 or go in the evening.

Op sounds fairly sensible. Kid won't be running around and unless there's something the op isn't telling us about these sharp intakes of breath , like they are in fact high pitched screams then I can't see how it will be any worse than what half the adults will be doing. Talking loudly, being pissed, shouting across at staff, complaining, phones going off etc.

Go for it

I know this gets trotted out on all these threads, but... Almost anywhere else in the world, small kids regularly dine out at restaurants with their families. Yes, including kids with SN. I really don’t get why this is such an issue in parts of the U.K. Why are any restaurants that aren’t fast food outlets reserved solely for adults? Why do we have to hide our non NT kids away, like they’re somehow shameful? For an autistic kid, a quiet intimate restaurant is very likely to be your best bet.

So a kid isn’t behaving like a perfectly behaved automaton in an establishment? Big deal. As long as you manage the parenting bit, anticipate possible meltdowns, and I don’t have to deal with it personally, crack on. Kids don’t learn the nuances of how to behave if they don’t have exposure to eating out. And the more exposure the general population has to autistic young people, the better. I say this as a parent of a very sensory-seeking autistic kid.

I would go for it! It is lunch it will be fine. Take lots of toys and things for him to do. Be prepared to take him out for a walk. Ask if you can order quickly and in one go. Don't worry and enjoy it.

I always took my dds to very expensive michelin restaurants from the moment they were born, totally fine as long as you are considerate and know when the child has had enough. Smaller restaurants are often better for small children, less noise and chaos, better service and more friendly.

I don't get the British and their intense dislike for children in any places other than Wacky Warehouses. If he is likely to run about and shout or scream then dont take him, but a sharp intake of breath is very low down on the annoying scale. I always took outs to nice places to eat as they would sit and colour in or we would take top trumps cards for everyone to join in with. Adult only groups after a few drinks are much louder.

This thread has actually made me sad! People lack of tolerance is diabolical! Yes ok, some people get baby sitters and have a rare night out and Don’t want to listen to other people kids? Shame, unfortunately, the world doesn’t revolve around you folks! Take your son OP, I never get a night out but even if I did, nothing would make me think anybody had les of right to be there than myself! The rudeness.

I've taken my kids to fancy places at lunchtime. Tapas however is a bit of a pain. Not much choice for them and often bar stools.

YABU - a decent place has age restrictions though (even if parents have no clue about consideration !)

Lunch just about OK. Dinner I'd be well pissed off

I think you have to decide really based on knowing how your son is. Completely disagree with people saying toddlers don't go to nice restaurants. I live in London and children don't only go to family friendly chains. We took DD to Brindisa around that age and she was absolutely fine. Pix around a similar age. Obviously children generally go at lunch or early evening though. We've never had an issue with a decent restaurant welcoming DD but then we do not allow her to get down or disturb others.

Yes, do take your autistic young child out to a nice place because they are perfectly entitled to eat out at a good place and so are you.

If others have a problem with this at 1pm their problem.

If it was late at night or even late evening I may feel different.

Have a blast. You and your mum and your child is a party of three so you should not be penalized. I hope he LOVES it.

You and your mum and your child is a party of three so you should not be penalized. Sorry I meant if you were picking a fancy place just for your son it may not be a pace he likes but as a party of three you and choosing for you and your mum too, which is absolutely fine. XXX

I'm baffled why people would be annoyed really unless their own children don't know how to behave or they have only seen badly behaved children in restaurants? When we take DD she just sits there like another adult apart from doing some colouring or drawing!

A child being allowed to eat in a restaurant that isn't McDonalds or Pizza Hut? Outrageous!

I think it's fine.

If people are annoyed by children then they should book places where children aren't allowed.

I’d rather “put up” with air sucking than the notion that a disabled child had been excluded from a celebration for fear of offending me.

Neurotypical children running around are far more irritating (well, their lax parents are).

If you think that DS will enjoy the occasion, then take him. I’m sure the birthday girl would love to see him.

Also OP surely the autism and age are separate discussions ? As would the posters saying not to take your child say the same of an adult who was not neurotypical and had some different behaviours?

I'm baffled why people would be annoyed really unless their own children don't know how to behave or they have only seen badly behaved children in restaurants

I've worked in 2 pubs and a coffee shop. Any bad behaviour from kids has 99 percent of the time been purely down to parental stupidity anyway.

Kids clearly tired and its way past a sensible lunch time or nap time.

Filled up on utter rubbish so no wonder they are bouncing off the walls
Parents prioritising staying ages drinking when the kids really should bebtakek for a walk or taken home to bed.

Not even fed proper food just a portion of chips over the course of 3 or 4 hours to comply with the rules about kids needing to be eating in the restaurant with an adult etc.

You can hardly blame the kids most the time.

Rarely too much of a problem when its sensible parsnts like op

I wouldn't be happy if I was going for a nice lunch and there was a noisy child

I don’t have kids but wouldn’t be bothered if he was there! However if it’s tapas is there something he would eat?