To send a friend chocolates after death of her parent.

[starlet14]

I have a friend who doesn't live locally! She's lost a parent and I'd like to send something. She was wonderful when I went through the same. Even came to the funeral. Obviously I can't do the same due to covid.

She's not really into flowers. Would it be okay to send her some chocolates instead? For her and her kids or is it insensitive?? Just to cheer her up!

Friends of ours were overwhelmed with white flowers when their adult DD sadly died. They were grateful but didn't have a vase left in the house.
We turned up with a homemade cake and it seemed to go down well. It was easy for them to deal with and they had something to offer callers.

Suggestion for some or all to make a care package.
A note with sentiment.
A candle.
Nice cotton pyjamas.
A journal/notebook
Some nice chocolates.
I feel like pyjamas or a nice blanket give the sentiment of a hug somehow.
Xx you're a good friend

I’m sure she would love them, and if you can write a card with a few personal words about her parent if you knew them. A story about her fantastic smile, tasty cake, or something about how they were a good parent (if appropriate).
I found that those personal stories gave me the most comfort when my parents died.

I don’t like flowers as agree something else
To die.

I would like chocolates. Or even a cooked meal (does a company do that)?

Anything is nice to know people are thinking of you

When my dad died, a work colleague gave me a photo frame to put a picture of my dad in. I really appreciated it as I didn’t have a nice frame to put a picture in, it was a lovely gesture.

To cheer her up?🤔

I would just send her a card with q thoughtful message.

A candle is a lovely idea, and a card. You are a very kind friend OP.

I would love chocolates! I hate flowers!

When my mother died, a friend of mine who did not know her, sent me flowers in the post and another friend, who had known her, came to the funeral.

But the thing that touched me most was a comment from an old childhood friend with whom I have only recently been back in contact after nearly 40 years, telling me how much she had admired and looked up to my mother.

Personally, I think if you can think of any personal reminiscence you have of the deceased person, that, written in a letter or card, would mean far far more to your friend than anything else.

Just a phone call. A card at most. I fucking hated every depressing card wracking up. Thought was kind but when I was just getting through the day and had one of those rare moments when i felt ok those fucking cards crushed me. A gift would have been horrible.

I'd love that

Flowers are a pain after a while...running out of vases, changing the water etc...

I hi I send her a personal hand written letter would suffice.

I would have loved that, it really is just to show that you are thinking of her. It's not the item that matters, it's the knowledge that you are thinking of her and she is loved.

I wouldn't want chocolates personally. A thoughtful card and some wine or something would be safer.

maybe a big bar of chocolate instead of a box of chocolates-it seems more comforting and less celebratory somehow

Your acknowledgement of her loss and that you’re thinking of her at this difficult time is the most important thing, so do whatever you think she would like. If she enjoys chocolates, send them with a card. I appreciated any gestures like that when my Mum died.

The worst is when people don’t acknowledge your loss because they’re embarrassed/ don’t know what to say. My in-laws did this to me and it changed how I view them- whereas some more casual friends were lovely. You’re a good friend to be thinking of her.

Chocolates feel like a celebration to me. It depends on the relationship, though.

I would find e.g. people turning up with food well-meaning but intrusive. But ultimately with a true friend you will feel their intention in the right way.

My good friend gave me a patio pot, with plants in after my Mum died. It was kind, but she said she had done it because she didn't know what to say. I would rather have had nothing but had someone to talk to who doesn't feel uncomfortable about death. Just send her a card, and call her often. Tbh I am always pleased to receive chocs, but not instead of conversation.

A friend sent me a box of treats after I lost my mum, it was perfect because I could dip in and eat whenever despite not having any appetite. The sugar kept me going, the flowers looked pretty and I appreciated them but felt like such a waste compared to the box of treats.

A hand written card with a separate note inside with a personal memory of her parent might be nice.

I would hate chocolates. I'd consider them really inappropriate and probably toss them in the bin. I don't think I'd ever feel the same about you if you sent me something that is normally enjoyed at a time of celebration. A heartfelt message in a card is more appropriate. No need for anything else.

My mum died this year and the thing that meant the most was having cards with lovely messages from the heart and others telling me of their memories and love for her.

I think it may make you feel better to buy something but it isn't about you. She will then have to thank you when she may not feel like communicating.

I think it would be enough to send a warm, genuine message. However, I think chocolates are a nice idea too.

When my dad died earlier this year I received lots of flowers, which were lovely (but a bit of a faff if I’m honest, the best ones came already in vase!!). One of my close friends sent a cake and another sent a big box of chocs, both with sympathy cards, and I was very touched that they’d thought about what I might like. I really appreciated the thought and it was lovely, and delicious!

My mum died 3 weeks ago and even though I cannot stand chocolate, this would have touched me so much OP. A friend sent me a beautifully iced biscuit and it was just wonderful to know that people thought enough of me/my mum to go to the effort of sending anything.