To send a friend chocolates after death of her parent.

[starlet14]

I have a friend who doesn't live locally! She's lost a parent and I'd like to send something. She was wonderful when I went through the same. Even came to the funeral. Obviously I can't do the same due to covid.

She's not really into flowers. Would it be okay to send her some chocolates instead? For her and her kids or is it insensitive?? Just to cheer her up!

I would have loved that.

A friend sent me biscuits after a parent died. It was so thoughtful and lovely of them. Really meant a lot, I was sick of flowers (but also appreciative). A bit pricey but these are lovely www.biscuiteers.com/biscuits/bouquet-biscuit-tin

OP the best thing I got sent was a bottle of good quality gin. I hated the flowers with a passion.

I would find chocolates in this context odd. A sympathy card suffices.

I lost both parents recently and it was nice to receive flowers, but as I was ill too, the flowers took a lot of looking after as a pp has already said.

I wouldn't have liked chocolates - for me they would be too celebratory - but your friend, and especially her child might well think differently, we aren't all the same.

One thing I did like was a box of toiletries someone sent - bubble bath etc, although that might not be as attractive to children.

My Dad recently died and someone from work bought me a little plant and some chocolates and a card. I was very great full because it showed that she cared.

Chocolates are comfort, and if you know her well she will know how to interpret the gesture. Lovely you are trying to be so thoughtful.💕

If it's a friend you know well and they'll know your intentions were well meant I say go for it. Add a note saying maybe you thought they had lots of flowers and hoped chocs would be a nice alternative.
I've sent friends their favourite drink-not champagne obviously - with a note saying it's for raising a glass in the person's memory whenever that time feels right.
I've a close friend who was the only one to use our childhood cheeky and borderline inappropriate (for a sympathy card)nickname for my grandad in his card and it was as equally appreciated as the polite 'thinking of you' messages.

In the asian culture sweets are given at a happy occasion so Asians may be offended.
They seem to be given at Christmas and birthdays etc so to me would be a gift for a happy occasion.
Someone upthread said a candle which i think would be nice, but you know your friend best.

My MIL passed away yesterday and tbh if someone gave us a box of chocolates we would receive them warmly, a bit of comfort eating is just what we need right now.

How about sending something like a little keepsake? I saw in Clinton's they had guardian angel pins, they're only small but might be a nice sentiment x

I think any kind of gift after a bereavement is weird, death is not a gift giving occasion to me. A card with a few meaningful words is enough.

What did she do for you?

I always try to do similar in the hope they will like it because they also did it.

I don't think chocolates are really appropriate, but I so understand you wanting to do something.

How about a plant, that could flower in Spring? (A packet of forget-me-knot seeds?)
Or a nice candle.
A card with a heart felt message would mean more to me than chocolates.
End of the day - you know your friend best - so go with your gut.
She's lucky to have such a thoughtful friend, whatever you decide.

Can you send a voucher for a hot family meal to be delivered in from a local establishment? Day of their choice?

I think chocolates are a lovely thought. She can put them in a drawer for a bit if she doesn’t want them straight away, but they are good for when you feel in need of coddling.

A card would be appreciated I'm sure. When my dad died I only had two cards, one from his brother and the other from one of his nieces. I've intentionally dropped the so called friends who didn't bother.

I think anything other than nothing is brilliant, I appreciated wine the most, then chocolate then coffee. Flowers are, as everyone has said, hard fucking work and they die. Dead flowers are miserable. No one thinks twice about sending flowers. Chocolates would be better.

The kindest ‘present’ someone got me when my mum died was a Just Eat voucher and a lovely soft throw. They sent a lovely card and wrote something like ‘use this on one of those days/nights when it all has just been too much and you just want to snuggle on your sofa with a Chinese’.

I'd rather have chocolates than flowers but either way it is the fact you are thinking of her that matters.

I don’t see anything wrong with chocolate. My friend bought me a maternity pillow to cuddle when my DF passed away and I remember her being so worried that I’d be offended. Anything to let me know she was thinking of me meant the world.

The kindest ‘present’ someone got me when my mum died was a Just Eat voucher and a lovely soft throw. They sent a lovely card and wrote something like ‘use this on one of those days/nights when it all has just been too much and you just want to snuggle on your sofa with a Chinese’.
That is so lovely x

When my sister died I would have much preferred chocolates to flowers. I know people are well meaning with flowers but they're just something else that dies.

Exactly this, I felt the same when my brother died too. Flowers were another thing I had to watch fade away, and even now I get panicky when I get flowers because I feel and intense sadness that I can keep them alive.

My friends brother died, and because I knew how she felt, I sent Bach's Flower Rescue Remedy, chocolate, wine and a peace lily. It wasn't flowers but a plant for the good oxygen.

And my best friends in UK lost both his mum and her dad within a very short space of time, so I sent a tree and plaque to be planted for each of them all n their back garden.

both me and mum arent flower people but were inundated with flowers when my dad died so we both would have prefered chocolates where possible
if you know they dont like flowers then they will appreciate chocolates

Chocolates would be a lovely gesture. Anything that shows you are thinking about them and care would, no doubt, be welcomed.