School runs when husband wfh

[cornflowerblue30]

Hi I'm just wondering if I'm BU or not. My husband is working from home due to covid and will be working from home for the foreseeable. He has a lot of flexibility in his job in terms of what hours he works can start earlier/later ect unless he has meetings.
I'm still working outside the home part time but I mainly do weekends.
In the morning I leave the house at 8:30 for one school run get home by 9 and then have another school run at 9:30. The afternoon is first pick up 12:30 and second pick up 2:30. I feel I'm only home some days and have to leave again. Next year il have 3 drop offs at different times when my youngest starts and 3 pick ups at different times.
Now my aibu is my husband often goes out for a run during his lunch break and I prepare food for lunch for when he gets back as I'm making stuff for myself and my youngest but I really feel he should be doing at least one of the pick ups or drop offs for me or even minding the younger ones whilst I run down myself especially if it's raining. I feel I could get a good run of housework or laundry instead of stopping and starting the whole time. I totally understand if he has something lined up in work but on the days he doesn't. Even one or two days a week would be nice. Aibu

She's not an SAHP though, she works, part time out of the home

It doesn't seem much like teamwork to me, is all

Generally particularly with more senior jobs there is more flexibility around taking a 20m beak to do a school run, you shouldn't be in front of a screen for 8 to 10 hrs working day with no real breaks - and the recommended is 15m per hr. There is no harm in asking him to done task of that length if you are making him lunch and so on. This is classic anyone who is a SAHP has nothing better to do than run around after someone WFH. The SAHP is more than reasonable in asking for more input from a WFHer when they are saving their commute time and being catered for with drinks and food saving them work time elsewhere. It is also about being present with your kids - so a school drop off or collection maybe rotating between the kids is a god thing from the kids point of view and also theirs in terms of taking a bit of a break from the 4 walls & Screens. Being the SAHP is NOT the easy option

The 12.30 pick-up would fit well with his run - he could do the walk there and back and then he'd be warmed up and ready to start running after he drops the child home.
If he doesn't mind re-timing his run, then one of the drop-offs would be even better, as he can start the run from the school end.

It makes a lot of sense to split the school runs between you while they're doing staggered starts.

I'm torn. I'm working from home and have gotten to the point where I'll say "sure I'll sort the washing, can you do clean the windows?" (For example).. I always get the response of well I'm at work! Erm yeah!

My hours are flexible but I still need to work around others. My manager has started doing school pick up and putting in later meetings for everyone so he can make sure he works his hours. My working day finishes at 4pm, I'm not working later. It can have a knock on effect.

Since my DH started working from home he’s taken on one of the drop offs in the morning and it’s made the world of difference to me and my entire morning. Yes I’m a SAHM so in theory should be doing it but this drop off is 8.15 and him doing it means my other child can sleep in a bit later, I can get ready for the day in peace and my other child doesn’t have to walk a mile before we set off to walk to school.
I still do the two pick ups later. Plus make lunch and dinner for everyone and all the tidying etc that comes with it but that one drop off makes a massive difference to me.
I don’t think you’d be unreasonable to ask for similar.

I think it's a great opportunity to get involved with school runs and chatting to the kids on the way etc, as previous posters have said. Presumably he is saving loads of time not commuting so surely he could pop out for this without much impact on his working day.

My DCs are older now so it's a different situation but I've been working from home since March. Yet still DH comes out with gems like this (yesterday) .... ""What are you up to today, any plans" ..... "Yes working FFS!".

Completely not unreasonable. They are his kids too, it's his house too, so definitely do it when he can.

The first two school runs sound like difficult to do anything in between. How easy would it be for him to pick it up? Will it normally be like this or is it Covid related? Did you sign up to this so to speak?

If him picking up a run is easy and going to really help you so you get to spend more time together as a couple etc. If him picking up a run is not that easy and not going to make much of a difference probably not reasonable.

Think his lunchtime is important. He needs a break from work. So if he wants a run. However, if he could incorporate and walk back with a child. Do you get a break?

Don’t think it is unreasonable to see if a small change could be made. It all depends. It might not be as clear cut as it first appears. So something that on the face of it might seem easy might not be because it breaks workflow etc.

@BigSandyBalls2015

I think it's a great opportunity to get involved with school runs and chatting to the kids on the way etc, as previous posters have said. Presumably he is saving loads of time not commuting so surely he could pop out for this without much impact on his working day.

My DCs are older now so it's a different situation but I've been working from home since March. Yet still DH comes out with gems like this (yesterday) .... ""What are you up to today, any plans" ..... "Yes working FFS!".

Oh yes. I'm currently sitting in my office, at my computer, with my diary open giving, I would have thought, fairly clear non-verbal signals about what I'm doing, but dh and dd both seemed utterly stunned when I asked them to stop talking to me earlier as I was working.

It's long past the stage of being funny in this household tbh, as I was the sole earner for 3 months over this winter and everyone STILL seemed stunned that I might be spending quite a lot of time working,

YANBU OP. The back and forth of school runs is such a drag on your time and concentration. It's not unreasonable at all that bothof you should benefit from the flexibility that your dh has around family life when he's wfh.

We both work ft but hes wfh still. So now he does drop off at school and I collect from asc. It's a joint job!

Surely it's nice to do pick ups and drop
Offs? He should want to help out

I will be WFH until I retire I think... I do most of the school pick drop offs and pick ups, because DH works shifts. When he is available he does it.

I have spoken to DH and said this is when you're doing the school run; he has to pull his weight as part of the team.

I am torn with this. Single mum, and I now wfh and my work is flexible but honestly, I’m so happy the after school club has started because it’s a pain having to factor it into my working day, it interrupts me getting really stuck into work, or having to arrange virtual meetings around it. Just because he’s home now, is it because of Covid? If I was in his shoes I wouldn’t want to do because I would normally be in the office, so why should I interrupt my working day because I’m now obliged to be at home? I know that might seem selfish but as flexible as my work is, it also takes a lot of concentration and being interrupted, even if planned is hard.

Thank you for all the messages just reading through them now. Yes it's the stop start that's really bugging me.
I take all dc with me on the school run even if the weather is bad. I should be working more but my hours have been cut due to covid. We discussed me being a SAHP before but I like the balance of work outside the house and being home.

All these people suggesting run to the school and walk back in lunch break are very presumptuous that the school is within walking distance for a child!

I work from home, I take dog out for a long walk/run in my lunch break as it is recognised that some time away from the screens, phones etc (whether you're working at home or within an office environment) is beneficial and my employers actively encourage it. My employers also allow me the freedom to set my own diary around my personal commitments which means I'm able to do school runs, attend summer fayres and plays etc as long as I get the workload done. My OH jokes about what bliss it is working from home, but to compensate for the flexibility I'm often working at 6am or 7pm. Working from home is still working and us home based employees often wind up working longer hours however because we cant just leave the work/desk behind - our desk is ever present 24/7.

OP - I'm going to pick up on something you said - you said he does help with some bits but you'd rather he did a school run instead - have you said this to him? Saying 'Hubby - appreciate your help in the mornings with prepping breakfast / hoovering / sticking a wash on etc, however given the faff with multiple school runs I'd rather you helped out there sometimes - could you take DC to/from school a couple of times a week instead?' Nothing wrong with that.

Ask him.
I wfh. Dh sometimes wfh. We split the school runs. If your DH can go out for a run, he can collect the DCs.

To all the people saying that he's working so should do it - presumably he is saving at minimum an hour a day by not commuting, and potentially quite a lot more. Surely those 5-10 hours a week should become family time? Presumably his wife's workload went up a lot with 3 kids on lockdown, did he take over some of that?

I moved from Woh to wfh full time post covid and think that some of these responses suggest that some 'd'hs are getting an overly good deal right now...

Even if he has to make up the time It’s not too hard - he could start work an hour earlier or work an hour later and have have time to jump out and do a pick up! I’d deffo be expecting help

I have a lot of flexibilty and work have been fab with juggling childcare but no I couldn't just do a school run, whereas yes I could disappear for lunch. its about the times we expect and are expected to be available for by our employer.

Having said that I wouldn't make his lunch and there are other things he could do for sure, inc some household jobs in his lunch hour, instead of the run.

But if he could incorporate a school run into his day & make things easier for Op, why wouldn't he?

I was a SAHM when kids were little & I biked them to kindergarten/school.

Hell I even pulled them on a sledge once!

But on occasion Idk, shit weather, dark mornings, of course husband would take them-just to make it easier!

As an employer, I was going to say that "when he is WFH he should be considered "gone" and WFH", but, if he's going for a run, he evidently has the flexibility to do at least one school run

@ExclamationPerfume

He is supposed to be working so I think you are wrong expecting this. If he was working out of the home then he wouldn't be able to help.

And if he left she'd be a single mum. And if he built a batcave she'd be Robin. So what? He is at home, he has flexibility to start later, he chooses not to. Wouldn't it be nice for the dc to have daddy take them?

Have you asked him and what did he say?

I agree that WFH is working and should be seen as that but most employers see the benefits of a bit of flexibility for their satff as long as they get their work done/do their hours.

Your DH has that flexibility so should be helping with the logistics a bit.

I would add that lots of people from my office (when I was in one) went for a run during lunch so this isn't an activity solely for those working at home.

He works full time, that is his job. His lunch break is his time. Your job is the home and school runs.

I am sure he looks after the children when you work at the weekend.