School runs when husband wfh

[cornflowerblue30]

Hi I'm just wondering if I'm BU or not. My husband is working from home due to covid and will be working from home for the foreseeable. He has a lot of flexibility in his job in terms of what hours he works can start earlier/later ect unless he has meetings.
I'm still working outside the home part time but I mainly do weekends.
In the morning I leave the house at 8:30 for one school run get home by 9 and then have another school run at 9:30. The afternoon is first pick up 12:30 and second pick up 2:30. I feel I'm only home some days and have to leave again. Next year il have 3 drop offs at different times when my youngest starts and 3 pick ups at different times.
Now my aibu is my husband often goes out for a run during his lunch break and I prepare food for lunch for when he gets back as I'm making stuff for myself and my youngest but I really feel he should be doing at least one of the pick ups or drop offs for me or even minding the younger ones whilst I run down myself especially if it's raining. I feel I could get a good run of housework or laundry instead of stopping and starting the whole time. I totally understand if he has something lined up in work but on the days he doesn't. Even one or two days a week would be nice. Aibu

I wouldn't appreciate WFH staff to be doing other things during WFH hours though unless agreed before and time made up later.

Tell him to do the school run literally ie forget his lunch time run and run to the school to pick up his kid/s instead!

Both me and DH wfh and we both cover the school runs.
Because they’re both of our kids and we aren’t dicks.

@Chamomileteaplease

Am I missing something? If he is working all day then being disrupted for childcare or school runs or whatever, would surely be a pain in the neck when the other parent isn't working?

I can just imagine if a woman was on telling us all that she was WFH but her non-working partner was asking her to look after the kids or do the school runs!

I hope your dh does all the childcare and housework etc when you are working at the weekends though?

This!

Your DH is still working even though it's WFH. You should do the school run if you're not working when he is.

He could make his own lunch, but is it that big of a deal really?

It drives me crazy that my DP thinks I sit around all day just because I WFH currently. I still have all of my work tasks that I need to do, I have enough time to make a brew and have a toilet break, but not enough to spend 30 minutes doing home chores unless it's in my 1 hour lunch break (which I do sometimes).

You literally just work weekends, you are so lucky to be in that position financially. Secondly, just working weekends means you should do more home chores and childcare chores etc. Stop moaning.

I wouldn't appreciate WFH staff to be doing other things during WFH hours though unless agreed before and time made up later

Ah love managers like you. Those that think they own their employees.

I do non work stuff in my breaks when in my office. Why is doing pick up any different?

I would ask if he could do either the 12:30 pick up or make lunch... Assuming he eats too that is not unreasonable and he can choose the least disruptive, him making lunch doesn't save you much time but takes one job off your hands. If you haven't asked I would ask what he felt he could reasonably do to help.

Presumably he's got extra free time now he's not commuting? If his work is flexible, he should be able to fit in a school run.

So you both work- he works in his paid employment and you work with the children/home. He gets an hour lunch break... do you also get an hour lunch break? If you do, then you need to leave him to it. If you don’t, then he needs to spend some of that hour pitching in at home so you both get a break or alternate days so you each get a break on alternate days.

Both me and DH wfh and we both cover the school runs. Because they’re both of our kids and we aren’t dicks

But the OP isnt working during the week.

He’s working during the week - no he shouldn't be doing the school run during his working day and yes it's fine to go for a run on your lunch hour regardless of what your partner is doing.

If your DH is getting benefits from WFH (less time commuting, opportunity to do whatever he wishes during lunch break) then he should share this improvement in his life with you, by doing a little thing that would improve your life too.

Many women have been negatively affected by the lockdown (juggling working from home at kitchen table with home-educating their kids for instance), whilst many men have experienced certain benefits (calm WFH in home office whilst wife manages the kids, no stressful and time-consuming commute). A caring husband and father would want to spend some of this extra time with his family, and would want his wife to have a bit of an easier time of it too.

I work from home full time with flexibility. As long as I cover my hours and my work and attend everything i'm supposed to then my boss is happy. If I need to be away for an extended period, I drop him a note otherwise, nipping out for school run on a regular or ad hoc basis is no issue.

I no longer have young DC and DH is full time working out of the house.

Your DH could easily do 1 or 2 school runs and should factor that into his day.

DH works from home for 8 years now and only did the school run in emergencies. He is flexible with his work but still he is working and therefore DD went to a childminder until Year 6 when she could walk alone to/from school.

If you have time issues I would ask to see if he can drop his run for a while and use the time for a collection and runs later in the day or - like DH - first thing in the morning.

A school run breaks up the work flow a lot more than just a short washing machine run.

Of course he can fit in doing some of the school runs. He seems to be able to fit in a run!

He could have his run on the way to or from one of the school runs for a start.

It’s all about the family pulling together a whole, isn’t it, not one person’s needs totally trumping the rest.

I would have thought that he could do the 8.30 school run if you are currently back at 9, presumably he only has to start work at 9?

And he could do the 12.30 run when he's not going out for a run.

If I was WFH and knew my other half was having to do 6 school runs a day I would offer to do at least one of them if work allowed.

I don't think doing your work on a particular day means you are incapable of doing the school run, before that working day begins. And if you can go for a run in your lunchbreak, and your working is flexible, you can easily pick up your bairn instead.

Assuming @bakereld is a parody account tbh

Leave for his lunchtime run at 12, collect child at 12:30 on his way back and walk home with them. That leaves with most of the day before you need to go back out again.

Otherwise he’ll have to accept school runs are pretty much your full time job and you won’t be dont much more housework that he does.

I’m thinking your work as a SAHP includes the school runs.

At the weekend he probably has it harder as he has all 3 kids to entertain /feed for the whole day.

You maybe need to lower expectations in what housework you will get done throughout the day, I know it’s stressful with the stop-start and feeling you are getting nothing done. It’s why I prefer to work.

My DH works from home and is flexible with hours in the morning. He nearly always does the morning school run. He is their parent too and wants to help out I guess (I've offered, to do it all though as I'm a sahm and am happy to) I'm grateful for the help and I'm sure yanbu if you ask, now his circumstances has changed. Its alot of to-ing and fro-ing for you

I work from home and do the school runs (only one child of primary age though) and I fit in a run on the way back from morning school run.

I don't think you are being unreasonable at all. I am in the same situation (except I dont drive) from Monday I'll have two drops off and two pick ups!
Luckily hubby is WFH for the foreseeable too. He'll be taking me on the school runs as they are before 9am. (8 & 8:40) and he'll take me to one school pick up in the afternoon (if he's not in a meeting) It's a nightmare doing several school runs. I did it last year and it was draining! Get him to help.

Why doesn't he WANT to do the school run?

My DH has stated many a time that the biggest perk of WFH is seeing more of the kids and doing the school rim and finding out about their days etc.

He's dreading going back to the office and missing out on that.

Everyone saying ‘it’s like he’s in the office’ - no, it’s not. If he had to commute to work for 9 a.m. he obviously couldn’t do a school drop off. But he could do an 8.30 drop a d be back at his desk for 9. He could do a 12.30 collection and go for a run before/after/after work. He has the flex to help out and multiple school runs are a massive PITA day in day out, especially if you do it all week and then work weekends too. Much more annoying than a weekend day of childcare, IMO.

He can still be a great employee and do a school run or two. Plenty of people manage it.

Like others have said, if he could incorporate a run with a drop off/pick up it would be a better use of time.

Does he share housework/childcare with you when he is not working? Does he look after the children when you are at work? Do you get a lunch hour in the day/ do you get an hour to yourself in the day when you work and when you are at home? I think it depends on those questions really.