Contributing to niece's uni costs

[Onionpeeler]

I've been asked to pay £120/month for my niece for her living expenses while she's at uni. She has a younger sister who will also probably go to uni so I'll probably be asked for that too. I don't earn a huge amount so I'm not that keen. I don't have my own kids though so am I being tight? AIBT?

What? Of course you shouldn't do that. Just say no.

Eh??? What??? Why???

Wtf? Why would you do that? CF parents

Why have you been asked to contribute?

Unless there is a huge backstory this sounds very cheeky of them!

Err no. The only thing I have asked of my brother is a favour to run dd to the shops (he lives in her university town).

Why would you? I don’t get it

I need a new coat because where I live is really cold. It’s not so cold where you live so will you buy me one?

No, you don’t need to say yes.

who has asked you?! They are being total CF-you have your own kids, this is not your problem. You aren’t their personal cash point.

If you’re nice, reply saying of course not. I’d be tempted to just send a laughing emoji and assume they’re joking, or just ignore!

There’s got to be context or a backstory for this, surely?

How bizarre! Not your child, not your fees.

I would visit with lots of goodies whennposdible, if you are close to the niece, and send birthday/Xmas money. Would not contribute to fees, however.

We had similar, we were asked how much a month we would give, they thought around £100 would be fair.

I said we wouldn't be doing that as if I have £100 per month spare then it would go on my daughter. I also have 9 other nieces and nephews and wouldn't do that for them either.

My SIL was furious, my MIL didn't speak to me for a bit but I stood my ground. I did send a 'big shop' of staples each term and had niece to stay when she was in the area.

No! Of course you shouldn't!! Who asked?

Is this something your family normally does? Did someone do it for you? My Chinese friend was the recipient of similar support and was then expected to the same for her siblings.

I would happily do this for my nieces and nephews, but I'm really close to them.

Oh and I did eventually ask if they would be handing my DD £3600. They were shocked but I pointed out that that is what they were asking us for.

YANBU. It would be one thing if you wanted to and could comfortably afford it, but since neither of those things are true you should just say no.

What!? Who has asked you this!? Yanbu. Wtf!?

This is bizarre. Why are they asking you?

I wouldn’t dream of asking my brother any such thing.

YANBU. That is her parents responsibility, not yours!

Eh?? What absolute bonkers-ness

CFs - of course it's not your responsibility.
I can't believe that someone has voted YABU!

I'm Guessing this is a cultural thing?

But no I absolutely wouldn't be contributing - very bloody cheeky to ask

Is this a genuine op? Is there a side thread? Is there more you need to tell us?

What!?! No

Erm, no

Wtf! No way, especially if you can't really afford but even if you could why the fuck should you?