Op from the beginning of this thread I suspected that your he's monthly binges and all nighters were as much about his character as a drink problem.
During the thread you've said you've put up with a lot from him (or words to that effect), but stayed because you live him and your kids do; which sadly didn't surprise me.
It also became clear during the thread that he gets free time away from the family/kids while you do not, that he has looked after them on his own once (?) when you broke an ankle, and fell asleep when he was supposed to be awake looking after them/watching out for them.
That is pretty fucking dire.
It sounds like he barely pulls his weight with your kids in spite of you working outside the home as well (not sure if PT or ft).
As is often the case in threads the op.posts about one issue but a big back story/context of generally shit behaviour comes out.
He sounds quite minimally engaged in family life; it's ridiculous that a father can't (won't) look after his own children whether one had SN or not. You seem to be expected to bear the burden of everything family-wise in your shoulders. You don't even get nights out, while he sleeps all day after his nights out.
I suspect he cant really be arsed with family life but as long as you do nearly everything and keep your little mouth shut, he'll.go along with it. After all he gets to confirm to society's norms of having the wife and kids, being a family man, probably gets his meals cooked, his house cleaned, his laundry done, his admin done etc.
But if you give any "hassle" he's, under the surface, so uninvested and selfish that he'll walk .. and use any excuse he can to blame you. I could be wrong but I don't get the impression he was ever very invested in a marriage and family.
What were the issues you've had but stayed with him in spite of?