To empty the effing cupboards when I go?

[PaperDreamsHoney]

OK, long story short, STBXH is an abusive wanknugget who is refusing to separate even though he knows I don't want to be married to him anymore. He's refusing to leave our (rented) house and says the kids and I will have to go instead, despite the upheaval and having to risk interrupting an ongoing medical assessment by leaving the area (I can't afford our current area alone).

My question is, WIBU to empty the kitchen cupboards when I go? I'm not a prepper exactly but I do keep my cupboards well enough stocked that if we couldn't go shopping for a week or two we'd muddle through alright. It's his salary that's paid for the food but my planning that's actually stocked it up. He wouldn't know what to do with half of it anyway.

YABU - leave it/half of it
YANBU - take the bloody lot.

Sorry, should've added - he's a higher rate taxpayer and I'll be going onto UC.

I would definitely do it.

Are there not more serious concerns for you to consider?

Have you got somewhere else to live? Would it help to speak to the LL, can you afford to stay there yourself and he leave? If you and dc have suffered dv then maybe citizens advice or womens aid could advise you. Saying that, if you do go then yes I would clear out the cupboards.

Take it, you’ve kids to feed.

@walfordwatcher Like feeding my kids when I'm on universal credit and STBXH may or may not cough up any child support any time soon?

New flat should be sorted tomorrow, meeting with kids' school, legal aid application, endless medical stuff to transfer to a new GP, contacting Women's Aid... All done.

If you speak to a charity like women's aid and the local authority they are able to help with housing.

I've been looking after a friend whilst she makes the break from an abusive marriage and the council have found her a property and there has been help from a charity to move.

If there are children involved I think this will get you additional help

Local authority here can't do much because they're inundated. The best they can do is help me find somewhere to rent privately.

If you really can't stay...

I'd take every crumb out the cupboards, every bog roll, lightbulb, washing powder, the lot... I'd leave him with only the fixtures and fittings that came with the property and anything specifically his from before the relationship began and NOTHING else.

Don’t even leave him a teabag.

@WiddlinDiddlin haha, now you're talking!

If the flat doesn't work out I'm going to apply for an occupation order, but I can't afford the house on UC and he may or may not give me any child support, so I'd probably have to go anyway.

Don’t forget washing powder, toiletries etc

leave an empty bog roll and take everything else that doesn't actually belong to him.

May or May not give child support? Are you not in UK?? If in UK log the claim with CMS tomorrow, he doesn't get a choice.

Thanks @combatbarbie, I will do that. Should've said may or may not pay voluntarily, and obviously if it has to go through CMS it's going to take a lot longer.

Abso-fucking-lutely, Empty those cupboards.
Also take anything that you can sell on facebook.
It can be a long time until any UC is paid to you.
In the weeks before I left the ex, I included items for my new house (well homeless hostel) in the weekly online shop and had a friend come and collect them while he was at work, She stored them for me until I got moved into the homeless unit. It really helped.

I'd actually hide rotten fish somewhere too. Probably in his pants drawer.

I'm planning on spending the nectar points on things like tea towels.

I would just leave him the opened things , that bit of Tom puree lurking in the back of the cupboard , the scraping of mustard left in the jar, that weird sauce you bought but nobody likes / knows what to do with it . Yep you can have all them pal the rest is all MINE

Christ I would take every last morsel, like WiddlinDiddlin says. What a bastard making his kids uproot so that he doesn’t have to/ to spite you.

I agree don’t forget the lightbulbs!

Leave a fish behind the radiator

Take the batteries out the remote, OP.

I would. Fuck him.

I mean he'll probably try and get even with you for it but he sounds like a vindictive prick anyway so even you leaving will probably incur spiteful retaliation. Might as well endure it with a full cupboard xD

If you’re married you should take him to court for spousal maintenance too if you think you might get it, and half (or more) of any savings, pension, assets he might have.

Your need is much greater than his, especially if you might be going on to UC.

take it all every single thing even the salt

fuck him