To empty the effing cupboards when I go?

[PaperDreamsHoney]

OK, long story short, STBXH is an abusive wanknugget who is refusing to separate even though he knows I don't want to be married to him anymore. He's refusing to leave our (rented) house and says the kids and I will have to go instead, despite the upheaval and having to risk interrupting an ongoing medical assessment by leaving the area (I can't afford our current area alone).

My question is, WIBU to empty the kitchen cupboards when I go? I'm not a prepper exactly but I do keep my cupboards well enough stocked that if we couldn't go shopping for a week or two we'd muddle through alright. It's his salary that's paid for the food but my planning that's actually stocked it up. He wouldn't know what to do with half of it anyway.

YABU - leave it/half of it
YANBU - take the bloody lot.

don't forget the tin opener

YANBU

As other PP’s have said take everything that isn’t nailed down just leave him with his own stuff. Make sure you have everything you need to start again in your new place. I really hope it works out for you and the DC’s.

When you claim UC, please ask them about the initial advance. It's given to you on the same day.

Also, contact your local council and ask if they have a 'Local Assistance Fund' or Family Fund Service for food vouchers. Usually they will give you £40 of supermarket food vouchers in a crisis.

ALSO.... If you do end up with an occupational Order and claiming UC - Housing benefit can ya you discretionary housing payments towards your rent temporarily for 3-6 months or more. Even though you're not getting housing benefit and you're claiming UC, they'll still pay you discretionary payments in your situation, to allow you time to make other arrangements

Take everything. I did

Take. it. all.

My higher rate earning wanknugget ex is currently lying to the CMS about how much he earns (because he channels it all via a limited company) and paying me the princely sum of £17 per week. There's a good chance yours will do the same. They are investigating but I don't hold out hope - so take it all.

Don’t forget the cutlery!

Ps from personal experience, a can of sardines in a hot room over the weekend left in a ceiling panel is very effective.

And the lightbulbs.

Take it all, including the remote control. Leave him with nothing.

Tin opener! Yes, I shall leave him the crappy one that does not work. 😊

Last week I bought all the DCs' school uniform, shoes, winter coats etc on the joint account. Because he wouldn't separate, it was therefore joint money.

@PaperDreamsHoney

Sorry, should've added - he's a higher rate taxpayer and I'll be going onto UC.

In that case he can afford to buy food, he has no fear of starving. It might just make him realise how much work goes into organising a household. Take everything if you have to leave.

Dont forgot the batteries out of things. Like remotes ect.

Take the bottle opener. And his shaving foam and shower gel. Wanker deserves nothing.

As Skoda said, he can afford to replace it. Financially. Mentally, he'll very quickly have to come to terms with the fact that all of the fairies that magically did all the household planning/organisation have suddenly passed away.

He'll be able to smell the fairies eventually. They look a lot like prawns and when they're about to die they take themselves off inside the curtain poles. People often can't find them for months 🤷‍♀️

Revenge aside, I really would take everything you need for the new house. All those small bits add up. Wooden spoons, the lot. I'd also take half of the furniture. Not more than half or it could affect the divorce settlement, but definitely half.

Leave some tuna in the smoke alarm casing!
Change all the WiFi passwords to cockwomble

See prawns into the curtains...AND put the thermostat up as high as possible and the heating on permanently.

I did this with my cousin when I was living with her and she stole 3k from me.. So she won.

Its so petty but I don't want to karma to come back on you?

Love the idea of prawns in the curtain poles. I would pour the juice from a tin of sardines behind the bed as well.
Mmmm fish.
Don't forget the bedding, the laptop (if it's his laptop just take the charger) and the car.

Oh, fuck it. Take it. How dare he not move out himself when there are children involved. You can go the nice higher road, or you can be practical in these instances; but he's not taking the higher road. Stock up big for the times ahead, and have a wee laugh as you do so.

I like the idea of an empty toilet roll... languishing and bare, as the solitary luxury/basic need left behind.

May or May not give child support? Are you not in UK?? If in UK log the claim with CMS tomorrow, he doesn't get a choice.

Have things changed in the last few years then? A decade ago when I tried to claim it seemed men had plenty of options for dodging.

But do try anyway OP if you can.

I wouldn't just empty the cupboards, I'd empty the house.

@EnoughAlready2020

I'd actually hide rotten fish somewhere too. Probably in his pants drawer.

In the curtain poles is the best place.....apparently 😉

Actually, thinking about it, I'd make him some nice meat pies....using dog food 😁

Regarding CMS, depends on what kind of man he is. Sadly there are far too many men who don’t want to even pay the minimum expected amount for their own child.

I'd be taking as much as I could to help me kit out the new place; towels, bed linens, crockery, electricals, cutlery, rugs, cleaning materials. It will lessen the amount you need to spend to get the new flat up & running.

Wishing you all the best for the future.