To empty the effing cupboards when I go?

[PaperDreamsHoney]

OK, long story short, STBXH is an abusive wanknugget who is refusing to separate even though he knows I don't want to be married to him anymore. He's refusing to leave our (rented) house and says the kids and I will have to go instead, despite the upheaval and having to risk interrupting an ongoing medical assessment by leaving the area (I can't afford our current area alone).

My question is, WIBU to empty the kitchen cupboards when I go? I'm not a prepper exactly but I do keep my cupboards well enough stocked that if we couldn't go shopping for a week or two we'd muddle through alright. It's his salary that's paid for the food but my planning that's actually stocked it up. He wouldn't know what to do with half of it anyway.

YABU - leave it/half of it
YANBU - take the bloody lot.

Take everything. Food, toiletries, furniture, or at least saw it in half and take half of it. Leave one sheet of bog roll and ensure there are no tissues or newspapers to hand.

Take anything you have bought.

Good luck.

If he's payroll employed it shouldn't take long at all. They aren't messing around now like the old system. They just go direct to HRMC to get his wage etc.

I agree: take everything. Bog roll, lightbulbs, definitely batteries out of the remote (fucking genius that one), you'll need curtains too I should think

If timeframe allows leave one egg, carefully stored past use by with the date scratched off, in the fridge for his tea that night.

Other considerations aside, sounds like you have a workable plan in place. Well done, op.

Take everything you can, OP. Take the furniture, if it doesn't belong to the landlord/lady. Take everything that's not nailed down.

@walfordwatcher Like feeding my kids when I'm on universal credit and STBXH may or may not cough up any child support any time soon?

What I actually meant (and did not say) was to take it all and not worry about it. Your mind must be juggling a hundred different worries and concerns, the contents of the cupboard aren't worthy of adding to them. Take everything you either need or want and will be useful and then don't give it another thought. Sorry for not making myself clear.

If you are leaving the TV, take the remote, not just the batteries.

Actually, on reflection, if you have time, find an old remote that won't work with the TV and leave that instead.

Just noting down "wanknugget" into my handy list of insults...

Oh, and don't forget to leave him some toilet roll. The last sheet will do.

@walfordwatcher Oh I see. Sorry for being prickly, it genuinely has been worrying me how much it'd cost to stock up again.

Leave him some prawns. The optimum place to store them, apparently, is in the curtain rods.

Take the stuff in the cupboards but be careful what household contents you take as he could knock the cost of replacing them off the divorce settlement (that's what my solicitor told me when my STBEXH threatened to empty the house). That said, if you need the stuff now and don't care about that then crack on.

With regards to an occupation order, if there's been abuse that you can properly evidence then apply for one ASAP. He could be out by the end of next week if it's granted.

Good luck with everything OP

I’m planning on spending the nectar points on things like tea towels

Sod that OP. You might be need the points for food in a few weeks. Take the tea towels too.

If you haven't applied to the CMS yet do it now!

Good luck

Or sewn into the curtains

Take the fuses out of all the plugs!

Leave that crap Christmas plum chutney in the back of the cupboard. Fuck it, take the tv and the remote. Take anything that isn’t pinned down.
Don’t leave any bog paper. Get onto CMS ASAP and good luck

@EnoughAlready2020

I'd actually hide rotten fish somewhere too. Probably in his pants drawer.

Prawns

Sew them into the hem of the curtains.

Or drawing in them under the windowsills.

Take the tea towels op! Plus all bedding and bath towels.

He is the very worst kind of cunt, take absolutely everything that isn't nailed down.

My friend's husband has done this, he is sitting in the council house she decorated and made into a home while a sahm to 4 kids, she is in emergency accommodation with two toddlers and I want to kick his arse into the middle of next year.

Things will get better for you and your children, he will always be an absolutely awful human

Do it! I definitely would.

Thank you for the word “wanknugget” I have added it to my collection of insults.

Good luck to you.

Do you have friends with vans or big cars? When friend moved out of her abusive ex’s we packed everything and took it all. Down to and including anything she could flog as she had their baby to care for.

And definitely apply to CMS, you can do it ASAP as you’re separated.

Don’t leave anything behind.

Take anything that does not belong to the landlord

Sheets, towels, duvets, loose coins, soap etc

Everything you need, take it

Take it all, OP! What a bastard.

Take every single item except leave a solitary can of Tuna in the cutlery drawer.

Thanks everyone. I'm planning on leaving all the ugly shite his mother has inflicted on us over the years.