AIBU to think teachers should not be teaching sex games to children?

[2fallsagain]

Article In today's Times about teaching resources for RSE from the proud trust.

www.thetimes.co.uk/article/government-gives-pupils-sex-advice-on-the-roll-of-a-dice-80hmsplws

In summary "The government has funded a tool kit written by the Proud Trust, an LGBT charity, which includes dice featuring words such as “anus”, “vulva”, “penis” and “hands and fingers”. Children are encouraged to throw the dice twice and talk about the sexual acts that can happen using the two body parts".

AIBU to think this is deeply inappropriate and any school using Proud Trust resources needs investigating? WTF is the government doing funding pornographic material for children?

Also, pushing anus and vulva together... Really? Something tells me this has come from a man with a fetish, as no woman would think this was a clever idea.

Discussion of boundaries is not included in the materials which are being flogged by yet another dodgy lobby group and which have been funded by taxpayers.

I taught sex Ed. I had an all boy form. I told them nothing they could say would embarrass me. I think this game approach is an excellent idea. It would be wonderful if all parents gave their children detailed sex Ed but they don’t.

Discussion of boundaries is not included in the materials which are being flogged by yet another dodgy lobby group and which have been funded by taxpayers.

Boundaries are phobic, didn't you know?

This is like the furore over drugs education, where again games and activities play their part in getting children talking and providing a safe space to sort truth from playground rumour etc.

Some children have found a bag containing a purse, glasses, handkerchief, photo and some drugs. Why might the person have them, what might they be for and what should the children do?

Offer that scenario in a primary classroom (preferably with handbag prop including anonymous tablets). The children do the rest. They list a huge range of drugs - mostly illegal until guided to think of drugs as medicine too - and their effects. Beside the (usually otherwise hidden) knowledge is a shedload of misinformation and questions which the skilful teacher can field at age appropriate levels.

I watched that activity in a Y5/6 class in a leafy lane school in a fairly prosperous market town. A parent complained after that they did not want their child told anything about drugs until they were 16. Their child had contributed information on older teenagers (pre-16) sharing c substances in the park when they played there.

Knowledge, sensitively shared and explored, and with channels left open with trusted adults for future communication, is power for young people.

Yes. Don’t get hung up on the word game

Why? That's the entire focus of this approach to discussing the subject. Absolutely there should be open conversations about sex in schools to inform, educate and help foster a positive attitude to sex; but I don't see how 13 year olds rolling a dice laden with body parts contributes positively to that. And why nearly £90k of money which is supposed to go to supporting women and girls was spent on it. Surely from this charity it would have been far more positive to include some tools and info on how to be more inclusive of LGBT children so that teachers are confident in including this in an appropriate, helpful, respectful way- which isn't the case now and isn't really helped by this game.

I hope you mentioned you your boys that anal sex can cause injury. That girls have a clitoris. That boundaries and consent come first.

I think the people defending this have failed to understand this game does not teach about safety, or consent or any of the sensible things people are raising here. You are failing to recognise that this crosses a boundary between teachers and students. It even states you have to "hold your nerve" as a teacher. This game is a version of an actual adult sex game. Im surprised that doesn't ring alarm bells with parents.

I vehemently disagree with the notion that this is appropriate sex education for kids. I believe this pack is designed for age 13 and up.

Of course they are going to come across highly explicit material on the internet. Which is why sex education should focus on healthy relationships and consent, in particular the right to say NO to anything that does not feel personally comfortable or pleasurable regardless of the wishes of (Or pressure from) the other party.

What a 13 year old does not need is a discussion on inserting objects into multiple orifices. That is easily found on the internet.

We are being hoodwinked as a society.

Good point. So one would ask why avoiding injuries is not mentioned in this material either. No reference to the risk of injury, stds. No mention of boundaries. No mention of women’s pleasure. No mention of the clitoris. Just a smorgasbord of things to shove into other things.

I agree it’s bad that the dice doesn’t include clitoris - it definitely should.

As for the rest of your comment - surely this is one resource, not a comprehensive lesson in itself? Isn’t the idea that the dice sparks a conversation about, for example, anal sex and that includes discussions on consent and safety? Sex ed teachers should be well versed in these topics and they should be informing all discussions in these lessons. Nothing in that article remotely suggests that conversations about safety and boundaries are precluded.

The dice does not teach sex games to children, it's a game to teach children about sex. Many children from year 7 up, if not younger, are not already talking about, or exposed to talk about, all of the different acts that you could come up with with these words. The number of children watching porn at a young age is increasing and exposure to all kinds of sex acts through porn. The normalisation of extreme sex acts does not come through the discussion in classrooms about sex- it comes through the playground / internet etc

It's so important for these things to be talked about in an open and managed setting. Not to promote or celebrate but to educate & so that there can also be discussions about consent and potential harm to help kids understand the choices they're making.
PP mentioning increasing injuries due to anal fisting in young men- maybe if they had had an open and frank education about anal fisting this may not be the case?
Kids are already in the know, ignoring that and not educating them leaves them ignorant and more at risk. Information gives them the power to make good choices.

@TomNook

Still waiting to hear how many of the critics have taught sex ed.

For heavens sake, pipe down. Just because we ALL haven't taught sex ed doesn't mean we don't have kids that age/ haven't talked to them.about sex/ are not allowed an opinion.

Shouldn't sex ed be , essentially about staying safe, rather than ' how to' instructions?

@2fallsagain

I think the people defending this have failed to understand this game does not teach about safety, or consent or any of the sensible things people are raising here. You are failing to recognise that this crosses a boundary between teachers and students. It even states you have to "hold your nerve" as a teacher. This game is a version of an actual adult sex game. Im surprised that doesn't ring alarm bells with parents.

I would assume that the consent part of the game is a verbal discussion between teacher and students! It's the focal part of every PSHE sex ed class I've ever been involved in. Teachers don't need to be instructed to teach consent by a dice game, it's a core aspect of the curriculum.

This is literally just a gimmick to ease awkwardness. teachers use them all the time.

As for the rest of your comment - surely this is one resource, not a comprehensive lesson in itself? Isn’t the idea that the dice sparks a conversation about, for example, anal sex and that includes discussions on consent and safety? Sex ed teachers should be well versed in these topics and they should be informing all discussions in these lessons. Nothing in that article remotely suggests that conversations about safety and boundaries are precluded.

It’s a whole educational pack costing £90. Although already paid for by the taxpayer so a nice little earner for someone. One would hope a decent teacher would be on the ball and fill in all the material that’s missing but it’s not there. And this is taxpayer money - the taxpayer’s objective is decent sex education which includes boundaries, safety and respect for women. Particularly since it was funded by the Tampon tax. Not one of these objectives is met.

No I absolutely would not be happy with my girls being taught this. The focus of sex education should be on boundaries and consent along with with the dangers of sending explicit pictures, grooming etc.

They do not need to be taught that anal and fisting are a normal part of sex and that they are expected to be OK with that. That should be something they decide if they are OK with as they explore with partners as they get older.

YANBU!!!

I mean, kids would find this online anyway. However, there’s no mention of STDs, consent/feeling pressured and safety here. Also very very strange that clitoris doesn’t have its own section, but there’s lots of suggestions under “object” and anus.

The number of children watching porn at a young age is increasing and exposure to all kinds of sex acts through porn. The normalisation of extreme sex acts does not come through the discussion in classrooms about sex- it comes through the playground / internet etc

Couldn’t agree with this more. The number of parents on this thread expressing their fears about grooming who seem to be completely oblivious to the fact that their children are being groomed by the internet and that the absolute best way to counter that and protect their kids is to have them taught comprehensive sex education.

I'm shocked people think it's fine for adults to be teaching graphic sex acts to kids.

People have sex, it's how we get kids in the first place. Clearly, you're upset because your experience of sex hasn't been graphic and perhaps there's some lingering resentment that you've been missing out on the good stuff. But equally clearly, it's very unlikely (given your attitude here) that you're going to be the sort of person comfortable giving a full and frank conversation about sex with your kids. So if the teachers won't raise it, who will?

The problem I have with this is that the intention doesn't seem to be the educate girls about how to get pleasure from sex.
There is a big issue now with girls feeling pressured into sex acts that they do not enjoy, usually derived from porn, which are more about the boy involved being able to tell his mates he's done it than any actual pleasure for the girl.
The fact that clitoris isn't on that list of body parts speaks volumes. (And why it's described as an 'external clitoris' in the text I have no idea.) This resource doesn't seem designed to teach girls about their own bodies and how to ensure they do what feels good for them, and don't feel pressured into 'object + anus' for example...

The dice game is part of a longer sex ed programme. Long critique of it here www.transgendertrend.com/proud-trust-nothing-proud/ . The programme normalises anal sex instead of it being something that needs to be treated with caution - the majority of women don't enjoy anal sex, so why is it being pushed like this?

Pray tell, how would you like sex-ed to be taught ?

I actually think the most urgent sex education need for girls these days is that they do not have to have anal sex. They are coming under so much pressure from porn - sex education should be undermining the porn narrative not contributing to it.