AIBU to think teachers should not be teaching sex games to children?

[2fallsagain]

Article In today's Times about teaching resources for RSE from the proud trust.

www.thetimes.co.uk/article/government-gives-pupils-sex-advice-on-the-roll-of-a-dice-80hmsplws

In summary "The government has funded a tool kit written by the Proud Trust, an LGBT charity, which includes dice featuring words such as “anus”, “vulva”, “penis” and “hands and fingers”. Children are encouraged to throw the dice twice and talk about the sexual acts that can happen using the two body parts".

AIBU to think this is deeply inappropriate and any school using Proud Trust resources needs investigating? WTF is the government doing funding pornographic material for children?

TheHappyHerbivore - no. This game will talk about what can happen between a mouth, anus, penis, vagina, hand so fisting, felching, anal sex (which is being normalised you such an extent 16 year olds are presenting with anal injuries).

Remember as well a whole raft of year six have missed out on their post sats sex education, several primary schools have contacted me to tell me they need to catch up

what they don't need is their teachers talking to them about what you can do with a mouth and an anus.

Genuinely, OP, who do you want them to talk about this with? Where would you prefer for them to get this information, if not in a sex ed class with a trained adult?

Conversations with their friends? Personally I’m not sure I’d trust the wisdom and maturity of a 14 year old to teach my kids.

You? Can’t imagine that will be any less mortifying and uncomfortable for your kids.

Porn - probably the most likely scenario, far from ideal for obvious reasons.

I’m not sure how this is any different from discussing ‘what is oral sex?’, ’What is anal sex’ etc.

It's different because it is in the form of something you might find in Ann summers. In fact it is a well known sex game. You are already encoding the idea that non participation, even when you are uncomfortable is not acceptable.

I do not want to have conversations with children about how a penis and an anus could interact in a ‘fun’ way.

As long as you are not a sex Ed teacher, that’s fine. But don’t you think that gay boys need to know? And there will be a couple in each class, even if they aren’t out. Or do you just expect they will work it out for themselves eventually?

@2fallsagain

TheHappyHerbivore - no. This game will talk about what can happen between a mouth, anus, penis, vagina, hand so fisting, felching, anal sex (which is being normalised you such an extent 16 year olds are presenting with anal injuries).

What do you think happens in a sex ed class?

Don’t you think a teacher will explain that some activities are not sensible / have risks?

Share token. Perhaps people defending it might like to read the whole article and think if they think it's appropriate for their 13 year old daughter to be taught about sex acts by adults, particularly adult males.

Society is being groomed in plain sight.

https://www.thetimes.co.uk/article/92d62c6e-ead9-11ea-8446-c5c69e8507b4?shareToken=2148983cc6d4d41d4f7f6715fda4f041&wgu=27052554264415988567031702b91eed1502&wgexpiry=1606632703&utmmsource=planit&utmmedium=affiliate&utmm_content=22278

anal sex (which is being normalised to such an extent 16 year olds are presenting with anal injuries)

Sounds like more education is needed. You know most people manage it without injuring themselves?

pbs.twimg.com/media/EYo2AmmWoAIdZFL?format=jpg&name=large Link to the dice descriptions. Someone above said theres nothing wrong with teaching children factually about anal sex. What is factual about this?

Read the article. Thank you for the share.

Still not fizzed.

It's just a way of sparking discussion about things people do. I think it's fine. They're educating children about these things not instructing them to do it.

@2fallsagain

I don't see how this is any different to the sex ed i received 15 years ago - we were taught about oral, vaginal and anal sex, and manual stimulation etc - it wasn't a "how to" it was "these are things you might want to do with a partner" and every step of the way consent and safety was the focus of the situation. We talked about what methods of contraception you might need/want for each act, and various risks/myths etc. I don't see how adding dice to break the tension makes that conversation into a sex game.

If we don't teach our children these things, they'll learn from porn. Is that really what we want!? You need to pull your head out of the sand a little, it's dark in there which makes it hard to see that kids have sex. You can't stop them, so you need to teach them safely.

Looked at the dice descriptions.

I’m Still not fizzed.

Do you think a penis in a vagina is a ‘graphic sex act’? Or a finger in an anus? Really?

TheHappyHerbivore - no. This game will talk about what can happen between a mouth, anus, penis, vagina, hand so fisting, felching, anal sex (which is being normalised you such an extent 16 year olds are presenting with anal injuries).

And don’t you think that just maybe the reason 16yos are presenting with anal injuries is because porn has taught them that anal sex is normal and they have no idea how to do it safely? Wouldn’t you rather those poor 16 year olds had had comprehensive sex education teaching them 1) porn is not real life, 2) that anal sex is not something they have to ever consent to if they don’t want to and that many people never participate it in, and 3) that if they actively want to try it they need to do plenty of preparation and use a proper lubricant?

Or would you rather they were left to figure it out for themselves (and deal with the resulting injuries...?)

If you think it’s reasonable for a child to be taught about penetrating a penis with a vagina I can’t understand why you think all other forms of intercourse should be off limits. Either you believe that all sex ed is pornographic and grooming, or you accept that kids should be taught comprehensively about different forms of sex. Otherwise you’re doing half a job, and, in particular, excluding LGBT kids from the table.

@TheHappyHerbivore

TheHappyHerbivore - no. This game will talk about what can happen between a mouth, anus, penis, vagina, hand so fisting, felching, anal sex (which is being normalised you such an extent 16 year olds are presenting with anal injuries).

And don’t you think that just maybe the reason 16yos are presenting with anal injuries is because porn has taught them that anal sex is normal and they have no idea how to do it safely? Wouldn’t you rather those poor 16 year olds had had comprehensive sex education teaching them 1) porn is not real life, 2) that anal sex is not something they have to ever consent to if they don’t want to and that many people never participate it in, and 3) that if they actively want to try it they need to do plenty of preparation and use a proper lubricant?

Or would you rather they were left to figure it out for themselves (and deal with the resulting injuries...?)

If you think it’s reasonable for a child to be taught about penetrating a penis with a vagina I can’t understand why you think all other forms of intercourse should be off limits. Either you believe that all sex ed is pornographic and grooming, or you accept that kids should be taught comprehensively about different forms of sex. Otherwise you’re doing half a job, and, in particular, excluding LGBT kids from the table.

100% this.

@2fallsagain

TheHappyHerbivore - no. This game will talk about what can happen between a mouth, anus, penis, vagina, hand so fisting, felching, anal sex (which is being normalised you such an extent 16 year olds are presenting with anal injuries).

However, the internet can and does already teach those things - in a more graphic way than a lesson guided by a qualified adult who has no ulterior motive other than education. Our children have access to the internet and pornography in ways most people grossly underestimate.

Research has proven time and time again that countries where sex education is dealt with in an open, direct, no nonsense manner show lower teenage pregnancies. As a parent of a teen this isn't something I can get worked up over, and since the UK ranks pretty highly for teen pregnancy I can't see how this can be misinterpreted as anything other than a discussion about bodies, sex and how it works.

If your DC don't learn this stuff at school in a secure way, they're going to learn it online and from all manner of questionable sources.

It's one thing to discuss and educate on sex, quite another to engage in a game, and have the children and the teacher discussing in this way. And why the fuck was it funded from the Tampon Tax, answers on a postcard to how this benefits young girls.

This is a horrific document. Let’s make 13 year olds talk about inserting objects into their anus. This document is funded by the tampon tax which is in theory for the benefit of women and girls. No 13 year old girl needs to have anal sex normalised for her. If it’s something she wants to explore when she is sexually and emotionally mature then maybe but I’d wager no 13 year old girl has anal sex because they want to.

The document makes absolutely no reference to safe sex or upholding boundaries. Let that sink in - we are talking to 13 year old girls about anal sex without mentioning that their own boundaries are the first and only consideration.

"Hold your nerve!"

I dont think anything that has to open with hold your nerve, is acceptable. It's not acceptable with ideas of consent

If some science or PE teacher had conducted this lesson with my class when I was 13, I would have been put off for life, I suspect! Mouth and anus? No thank you. 🤢 And how come the clitoris doesn't feature as a body part except in the subsidiary boxes? It's quite important!

Tell me that game wasn't written by blokes. 😏

Or would you rather they were left to figure it out for themselves (and deal with the resulting injuries...?)

Good point. So one would ask why avoiding injuries is not mentioned in this material either. No reference to the risk of injury, stds. No mention of boundaries. No mention of women’s pleasure. No mention of the clitoris. Just a smorgasbord of things to shove into other things.

Getting the picture yet ?

I would have absolutely died of embarrassment as a teenager if I'd had to do this.
One of my teen boys I imagine would think it was a big joke, the other would be sitting in the corner feeling very uncomfortable. I guess, knowing them as I know them, there is every chance they are very different in school.
I suppose the teacher would have to choose their audience.

I can see this being useful in a youth group I used to volunteer with, where the kids were broadly speaking the most streetwise of their peers. If it led to a discussion of how boys and girls feel about different sex acts that would be a good thing, because let's face it, they were talking about them anyway.

There is such a variation in the experiences and comfort zones of teenagers in schools though, no-one should feel they have to take part in these things.

Just because the sheet of paper accompanying the dice combinations doesn’t mention consent is not indicator that the lesson will not include discussion of consent. I’d expect it to be part of any discussion - if a teacher isn’t including that then that’s a separate issue and one definitely worthy of comment.