AIBU to feel a bit funny about DH's comment

[redwinefine]

This has been in my head all day and it may have been an off the cuff remark. Last night, DH and I were heading out for some (socially distanced) drinks with his friends. I was wearing a low cut dress and tights. When I came downstairs after getting dressed, DH said I looked fantastic but asked me to change. I asked why and he said 'because you look very booby and they're mine'. I laughed, thinking he was joking, but he just looked at me. I changed for an easy life and nothing else was said about it. AIBU to feel a bit funny about his comment? BTW, very happily married, sometimes he makes comments about what I'm wearing e.g. 'that's very bright and colourful, just like you' but nothing like this.

YABU - it was a joky comment, get over it
YANBU - it's your body, dress as you want

Oh, and shock horror she can track me 24/7 on the phone. I think it's safe to say that your situation is not usual @Desperado24 and while there will no doubt be other couples on MN who stalk track each other day and night, I would bet a dime to a dollar that it's not very common, for obvious reasons.

@Desperado24 - in other words, she likes you to wear particular clothes for reasons that don’t bother you, and when you have a negative opinion of her choices, you refuse to play along with it - unlike the OP, who played along with a stated opinion that made her feel uncomfortable.

@WhatamessIgotinto

Oh, and shock horror she can track me 24/7 on the phone. I think it's safe to say that your situation is not usual *@Desperado24* and while there will no doubt be other couples on MN who stalk track each other day and night, I would bet a dime to a dollar that it's not very common, for obvious reasons.

It’s pretty common in my friendship group to be honest.

We both have it set to notify the other when we are 10 minutes away from getting home.

Means she often gets home to a hot cup of tea and I often get home to a cold beer.

@Desperado24 nah ... I call bullshit on this now.

@WhatamessIgotinto

Oh, and shock horror she can track me 24/7 on the phone. I think it's safe to say that your situation is not usual *@Desperado24* and while there will no doubt be other couples on MN who stalk track each other day and night, I would bet a dime to a dollar that it's not very common, for obvious reasons.

Common with most couples I know, including myself!

Saves me having to call up and ask where he is and I can pop the kettle on for when DH gets home

I don't know any couples who do this! Tracking each other? That's a massive nope from me!

I’ve never tracked a partner.

I’m not sure I’d be allowed to track DP due to his job anyway. 😁

@WhatamessIgotinto

I don't know any couples who do this! Tracking each other? That's a massive nope from me!

It might be a no from you, but lots of couples I know do it and all for a variety of reasons that are perfectly logical and make sense

For example my DH runs a business where he is in and out of multiple houses every day that sometimes aren't safe. He used to message me each time saying "I'm going into #52 Village lane" etc just in case god forbid something happened but now he doesn't because I can just check

@Desperado24

I regularly come down for a trip out and get told to change. Just bother me in the slightest and I definitely do it for an easy life as it’s just not worth the aggro and it makes my partner happy if I look how they want me to.

That’s assuming I haven’t gone to the bedroom and found my outfit already laid out for me.

Why doesn't it bother you?

Who made him God?

@Nanny0gg
Desperado is being dressed by his wife.

Bulges in trousers Ok if you're happy too but tracking stalking On a mobile from Desperado is just wrong.

I know I'm older and in my 50's but my husband and me have this apparently old fashioned concept called mutual trust. I see no reason to track him and him neither.

As for the bulge in trousers, I have no desire to stare at a mans crotch but I sincerely hope you're happy to go out like this. If not then speak up, don't just wear the clothes to keep your wife happy. She should be able to find happiness without controlling her husbands clothing choices.

FWIW, my husband dresses like he did in the 80's, hell he even still owns some T-shirts, whilst I think it's laughable getting that much wear from clothes, I couldn't give a flying fuck if that's what he chooses to wear.

@HoratiotheHorsefly

Bulges in trousers Ok if you're happy too but tracking stalking On a mobile from Desperado is just wrong.

I know I'm older and in my 50's but my husband and me have this apparently old fashioned concept called mutual trust. I see no reason to track him and him neither.

As for the bulge in trousers, I have no desire to stare at a mans crotch but I sincerely hope you're happy to go out like this. If not then speak up, don't just wear the clothes to keep your wife happy. She should be able to find happiness without controlling her husbands clothing choices.

FWIW, my husband dresses like he did in the 80's, hell he even still owns some T-shirts, whilst I think it's laughable getting that much wear from clothes, I couldn't give a flying fuck if that's what he chooses to wear.

Some people share locations not through lack of trust, but simply for safety and to make things easier.

Can you get your head around that or is the thought too complex?

DH & I can track each other if we open & use the app. We normally only look to see if the other is on the way home so we can put tea on. I don't check it when he goes out & vice versus.

Loads of reasons to be able to see each other’s location without there being trust issues.

I don’t think I have looked at it in over a month when she called me to ask for the best route home found some roadworks and could easily explain where sh was.

The automated notification we use every day. It’s useful not creepy

I have various friends (some are couples) who have track my iPhone enabled. Its useful when you're trying to work out when a friend will arrive in your town (if driving).

@ScarMatty

Can you get your head around that or is the thought too complex?. Is there any need to be so rude? Does it make you feel good to be unpleasant to another poster?

It's not too late to say something and I would HAVE to say something because what happened yesterday was not okay.

[quote WhatamessIgotinto]@ScarMatty

Can you get your head around that or is the thought too complex?. Is there any need to be so rude? Does it make you feel good to be unpleasant to another poster?[/quote]
I find it unpleasant and rude to keep calling it 'stalking' when it isn't.

If my husband had have said that I would have changed to- probably into a push up bra, fancy knickers and higher heels and nothing else and walked out with my head held high (though with the dress secretly stashed a handbag cause no one needs to be exposed to that much me outside if a swimming pool!). Even if it was a "joke", it'd teach him not to make it again.

That sort of possessiveness is grim and offensive.

I don't track my husband and he doesn't track me.
If one or the other of us are going to be late home from work then we just make a quick call.
Otherwise we get home at the same daily time.
I haven't got time for that tracking shit.

I find it unpleasant and rude to keep calling it 'stalking' when it isn't.

@ScarMatty that doesn't excuse being so personally insulting to another poster in the manner you were to Horatio. Most people on this thread have been able to disagree in a perfectly reasonable way without resorting to personal insults.

@WhatamessIgotinto

I find it unpleasant and rude to keep calling it 'stalking' when it isn't.

@ScarMatty that doesn't excuse being so personally insulting to another poster in the manner you were to Horatio. Most people on this thread have been able to disagree in a perfectly reasonable way without resorting to personal insults.

I find it personally insulting that is it implied that I stalk my husband and that he stalks me, and I am further personally insulted that it is further implied a relationship in which locations are shared has no trust.

"No mate, they're mine." 'nuff said.

OP he sounds horrible, my DP would never think about saying anything like this. If I dress up, he will always compliment me and might say something like 'I looking forward to coming home'. That's it, the fact that you thought it would cause an atmosphere is horrible! Sorry, hes not as nice as you think he is, you dont control someone you love in this way.

Ergh this reminds me of the time I was speaking to my sister and her friends (a husband and wife with a few children of their own) about my newborn and the conversation somehow turned to breastfeeding. The woman had mentioned how she never breastfed any of hers which is absolutely fine but I remember how joyful and absolutely ecstatic the woman's husband was while he explained that he wouldn't let her breastfeed because "their all mine" while trying to grope her.