AIBU to feel a bit funny about DH's comment

[redwinefine]

This has been in my head all day and it may have been an off the cuff remark. Last night, DH and I were heading out for some (socially distanced) drinks with his friends. I was wearing a low cut dress and tights. When I came downstairs after getting dressed, DH said I looked fantastic but asked me to change. I asked why and he said 'because you look very booby and they're mine'. I laughed, thinking he was joking, but he just looked at me. I changed for an easy life and nothing else was said about it. AIBU to feel a bit funny about his comment? BTW, very happily married, sometimes he makes comments about what I'm wearing e.g. 'that's very bright and colourful, just like you' but nothing like this.

YABU - it was a joky comment, get over it
YANBU - it's your body, dress as you want

@WhatamessIgotinto

She buys my clothes, decides what I wear when, how I have my facial hair and how my hair is styled. Doesn’t bother me in the slightest.

Is this your wife or your mother you're talking about @Desperado24?

Wife. Why? It makes her happy and that’s what I aim to do in life. Make the people I love happy.

What’s wrong with that?

If your busty you can hardly hide them. One day you’ll be late 50’s with nipples that point down. Just wear the dress.

Wife. Why? It makes her happy and that’s what I aim to do in life. Make the people I love happy.

What’s wrong with that?

Nothing at all @Desperado24, if that's what makes you both happy. I just find it odd that you don't want to think of these things for yourself I suppose. Different strokes and all that I guess.

@WhatamessIgotinto

Wife. Why? It makes her happy and that’s what I aim to do in life. Make the people I love happy.

What’s wrong with that?

Nothing at all @Desperado24, if that's what makes you both happy. I just find it odd that you don't want to think of these things for yourself I suppose. Different strokes and all that I guess.

Couldn’t care less. Obviously I wouldn’t wear something I actively disliked but if she wants me to look a certain way and it does me no harm I don’t see an issue.

Likewise if she turned up in something I didn’t like or didn’t think was appropriate for the occasion I would ask her to change and she would.

She told me I was getting a bit chubby the other week so now I am on a diet.

Guess if I posted this and I was the woman I would be told to “LTB” !!

No one cares about the dress luv we just want to know you’re leaving your shitty husband

OP I relate and I think people are being hard on you. My husband did something like this, years ago. Only happened once but to this day it still rankles. Like you OP, I changed my dress for an easy life. To this day, I slightly resent it, but on the other hand there is no question at all that there would have been an 'atmosphere' all evening (and poss beyond) if I had worn the dress out. If it happened again I'd explain calmly that I like the dress and I don't appreciate being told what to wear on the basis of how much skin I am showing.

That said, it only happened the once, so with the benefit of hindsight I think I was right to let it go. Be prepared in case it happens again though!

@Desperado24 But if it doesn't bother you and you're happy with your wife telling you what to wear etc., don't you think that's different from the OPs situation? She posted because she clearly wasn't happy at being told to change. If she wasn't bothered she wouldn't have posted in the first place. She felt good, husband told her she looked great but she had to change and her breasts were 'his'. She only changed because she didn't want an atmosphere. Don't you think there's something very wrong with that situation? Would you want your wife to feel that way?

[quote WhatamessIgotinto]@Desperado24 But if it doesn't bother you and you're happy with your wife telling you what to wear etc., don't you think that's different from the OPs situation? She posted because she clearly wasn't happy at being told to change. If she wasn't bothered she wouldn't have posted in the first place. She felt good, husband told her she looked great but she had to change and her breasts were 'his'. She only changed because she didn't want an atmosphere. Don't you think there's something very wrong with that situation? Would you want your wife to feel that way?[/quote]
Honestly? My wife would probably take it as a compliment.

He was basically telling her she looked gorgeous and that he was uncomfortable that other men would look at her in a sexual way because of how good she looked in the dress and that he would prefer she wore something else.

Appreciate everyone is different though and without knowing a whole heap of other information about the dynamics of the relationship it’s impossible to pass comment.

Sure enough some here have gleaned enough information from the thread to determine that he’s a terrible husband though

Yabu, you're his wife and his property therefore it's right that you get changed.

It's fine that he asked you to do it because it was said jokily. Next time he might joke that you shouldn't text a male friend or but that's ok too because it's said jokily. Maybe one day he will joke that you shouldn't go for lunch with a male colleague. Another harmless joke.

Or, y'know, not really ok, "joke" or not. Because it wasn't a joke was it. Like you said he would have been in a shit about it. Even though he shouldn't be acting that way anyway.

@Desperado24 But the OP didn't like it or take is as a compliment, that's why she's posted. That's the whole point and we can only comment on what she's told us. I'm not trying to change your mind, genuinely, but I'm definitely seeing it from a different angle than you. I feel sorry that the OP was made to feel that way, I think it's wrong that she was.

He said that her breasts are his, I genuinely find that a creepy and odd thing to say and if DH said anything like that to me I'd probably tell him to fuck off. He told me that my skirt was too short once about 20 years ago and I can safely say that he's never made the same mistake again.

Yay another thread where Desperado24 lets us all know how to woman properly. Thank you Desperado.

@Desperado24 - as a matter of interest, has your dw ever chosen an outfit for you which you found embarrassing to wear? And has she ever asked you to change because she thinks you look too sexy in your current outfit? Or does she just choose your outfits because you have no interest in clothes and don’t really care what you look like, so why not? Do you think you would be comfortable with any reason she gave you for wanting you to change your clothes?

@Desperado24 why do you think your wife is your property?

[quote Doccomplaint]@Desperado24 why do you think your wife is your property?[/quote]
How on earth do you come to that conclusion?

Because you think what he said is a compliment.

@Doccomplaint

Because you think what he said is a compliment.

Erm, nope, sorry. Don’t see how you have come to that conclusion at all? Have you been bank holiday drinking ?

I said my wife would probably take it as a compliment that I though the outfit made her look so hot that I felt I had to comment on it as it made me uncomfortable about her going out.

I don’t drink you judgmental spoon. And I’m not off today.

I would have laughed off the comment, but not changed if I felt comfortable in it.

[quote Walkaround]@Desperado24 - as a matter of interest, has your dw ever chosen an outfit for you which you found embarrassing to wear? And has she ever asked you to change because she thinks you look too sexy in your current outfit? Or does she just choose your outfits because you have no interest in clothes and don’t really care what you look like, so why not? Do you think you would be comfortable with any reason she gave you for wanting you to change your clothes?[/quote]
She prefers me more dressed up than I would normally be. Thursday night trip to the pub - told to change into a shirt etc. Couldn’t care less. It takes two minutes and makes her happier.

Yes she has bought clothes home I have refused to wear. She is much more outgoing then me and I like to blend in not stand out.

She likes me to wear much tighter jeans than I normally would as she “likes to see the bulge”. Analyse away.

Oh, and shock horror she can track me 24/7 on the phone.

She likes me to wear much tighter jeans than I normally would as she “likes to see the bulge”. Analyse away.
Oh, and shock horror she can track me 24/7 on the phone

Jesus wept, are you serious?
How bloody weird.

I decided I really wasn't happy about the comment and wore the dress again today when I was going out to see friends without him. He just said I looked lovely and to have a good time. Maybe he really was just joking the other night and was a bit when I changed. Thank you for all your comments

Or he'll punish you later after you get in. Keep your eyes open op. He doesn't sound very nice.

OP you are in your late 20s and have been together for years so it seems that you were a teenager when you met - this isnt normal there are undertones in a lot of your posts about him getting his own way and you acquiescing

[quote redwinefine]Those who asked - this is the dress. I'm in late 20s and have big breasts, so it revealed more that the model here

www.dorothyperkins.com/en/dpuk/product/dresses-5699972/skater-dresses-4888369/multi-colour-leopard-print-ruched-fit-and-flare-dress-9802469[/quote]
The dress is lovely and I looked out of interest for fashion reasons .

It doesn't matter what the dress looks like , his comments are controlling and the way you reacted to his comments show that the relationship is not as lovely as you might think it is .

She likes me to wear much tighter jeans than I normally would as she “likes to see the bulge”. Analyse away.

That you think that is appropriate to post here is just beyond creepy.

🤮🤮🤮🤮🤮