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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to not want to be called the version of ‘mum’ DH and family have in mind

327 replies

tappbar · 30/08/2020 16:25

All the other kids in the family have a slight regional variant for mum or mummy but I don’t like it ... aibu to just want to be mum or mummy?

OP posts:
SleepingStandingUp · 31/08/2020 19:47

@Musmerian

Surely Mom is American? I’ve never heard anyone in the UK use it. Is it a thing now?
No, it's isn't a "thing" now. It's just what some regions of England have used for generations. As repeatedly explained on here.
bookmum08 · 31/08/2020 19:53

'Mom' has probably only been used in America for about 100 years. It will have evolved over the years of immigration from lots and lots countries and languages. It has been used in Birmingham/Black Country for much longer.

Susan1961 · 31/08/2020 19:56

My girls think it's highly amusing to call me Susan sometimes 😂

Gailplatt95 · 31/08/2020 20:26

Mammy/Mam is standard where I am, I’d hate to be mum or mummy! If I called my mam mum as a child she’d say muuuuum in a cockney voice. Put me off for life.

TooTrusting · 31/08/2020 20:34

I'm in Wales. Everyone calls their mum "mam". I've never been called that. I've always been Mum. It's not hard to give your own DCs the steer for what you want them to call you. Even if other people refer to you otherwise.

Bananaman123 · 31/08/2020 20:53

In Scotland 'maw' or 'mam' are common and 'ma' seems to be an Edinburgh thing (or maybe just the people i know from Edinburgh).

HenriettaH · 31/08/2020 20:54

My kids all four... call me their own version of mom...I don't insist on being called anything other than it is respectful. Mom, Mum, Mama, Ma, Madre.... all names I get called...couldn't give rats as long as it's said with love.

Thesheerrelief · 31/08/2020 20:59

I refer to myself as Mammy. DS' dad refers to me as Mammy, so do my parents, brother etc.

DS who is 2.5 resolutely calls me Mummy.

doopdeepduup · 31/08/2020 21:11

@soberfabulous

I'm overseas and it's mama here. I much prefer it to mum or mummy.
Me too.

In the beginning I used to refer to myself as mummy.

I call DM Mam but didn't want to be called that myself.

Mama has just come about because DC are bilingual and that is what their friends call their mums.

User43210 · 31/08/2020 21:23

It is your choice and your choice alone. How weird that they think they have a say in it 😒

ClinkyMonkey · 31/08/2020 21:31

DS(12) calls me mummy to my face but refers to me as 'my mum' when he's talking to his matesGrin DS(8) also calls me mummy. I prefer Your Majesty but can't get anyone on board with it ....

I'm in NI and I think the tendency to use mummy lingers a bit longer, often into adulthood. DP's mother insists that he calls her mummy, even when he's referring to her rather than addressing her - and even though he's in his fifties. He and his siblings all call their parents mummy and daddy to keep the peace. I've no idea why it matters so much, although they are control freaks a bit old fashioned.

Mumsn3t101 · 31/08/2020 22:10

I'm in my late 20s and I call my mum "mummy" and dad "deddy" never really changed. It just stuck.
Saying "mum" makes me cringe for some reason.

CountFosco · 31/08/2020 22:17

My girls think it's highly amusing to call me Susan sometimes

By the time DSis was born (youngest of 5) Mum had stopped responding to 'Mum'. So DSis called her by her nickname to get a response. We all do it now Grin.

TylwythTeg · 31/08/2020 22:28

@HenriettaH

My kids all four... call me their own version of mom...I don't insist on being called anything other than it is respectful. Mom, Mum, Mama, Ma, Madre.... all names I get called...couldn't give rats as long as it's said with love.
I have the same... I live in Wales, my children speak Welsh... some call me Mam, I’m sometime Mummy (usually when being given a massive cwtch) and sometimes Mia Madre (by my very cosmopolitan eldest). I don’t mind what I’m called as long as it’s polite!!
MJMG2015 · 31/08/2020 22:44

At this rate it'll be Granny!

You get to choose!

mylaptopismylapdog · 31/08/2020 22:52

No you’re not you carried her and gave birth to her so you just stick to the name you want. I do not understand why anyone would think otherwise.

ClumsyAnnabel · 31/08/2020 22:58

I think you just go with what comes naturally to your own children. I'm in the Black Country they both call me Mom, that's what the cards from school they make say, how they text me etc, and I'm a southerner so was expecting to be a Mum. One has a midlands accent with southern twang one very yam yam. I dont give it much thought being mum not mom not a battle worth fighting!

DickintheDob · 31/08/2020 23:48

I've always been Mom or Momma but my youngest has taken to calling me Mum over the past 2 weeks. It feels very alien, I'm hoping it's a phase lol.

amispeakingenglish · 01/09/2020 00:19

I was brought up in a Mom area and live in Mum, so I must be Mum, although my kids added Mom to the name they called my Mom.... also i remember a bit of a thing about the spelling on the flowers for her funeral! Lots of people here think Mom is American, but its not its a regional British word taken to the US.

amispeakingenglish · 01/09/2020 00:20

@ClumsyAnnabel

I think you just go with what comes naturally to your own children. I'm in the Black Country they both call me Mom, that's what the cards from school they make say, how they text me etc, and I'm a southerner so was expecting to be a Mum. One has a midlands accent with southern twang one very yam yam. I dont give it much thought being mum not mom not a battle worth fighting!
So you owed up to the area! I'm a bit more south, Solihull... although family from Brum....
amispeakingenglish · 01/09/2020 00:26

@bookmum08

'Mom' has probably only been used in America for about 100 years. It will have evolved over the years of immigration from lots and lots countries and languages. It has been used in Birmingham/Black Country for much longer.
Sorry, didn't see this before I put my post !! Its really annoying that although used for ever by several million people in the Birmingham/Black Country/ Midlands sooo many people think its American, don't they travel? The Black Country dialect is actually the most pure Anglo Saxon one with the least Latin in the whole of the UK, so it more proper!!! LOL.
Samster45 · 01/09/2020 00:30

I’ve found it doesn’t matter what you want to call yourself; your child will hear their friends using the local term and will start using it themselves.
I live in a mam area and wanted to be mum instead but once her friends and cousins were all saying mam she changed it herself around aged 3. In the grand scheme of things it doesn’t bother me now

BluebellsGreenbells · 01/09/2020 00:31

Surely Mom is American? I’ve never heard anyone in the UK use it. Is it a thing now?

My grandmother is 103, she was a Mom and her mother was mom so that’s over 130 years of Mom in Birmingham - probably much longer I should imagine. I bet my grandmothers grandmother was mom as well.

All of them were Nan to grandchildren.

SleepingStandingUp · 01/09/2020 00:45

Is Nan not a frequent thing outside of the Mom Region as it shall hence forth be known?

Grandmi · 01/09/2020 00:53

My children are all in their 20s now and still call me Mummy!! Bless them . I have never encouraged them but I actually quite like it...each to their own !!

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